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We broke up because...
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quit wearing her glasses...a deal breaker0
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He was married to @GabriellaEstrella0
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Ran out the door and never came back0
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I was unsupportive of her witchcraft studies0
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Found his voodoo doll collection..that's some scarey ****0
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I saw the signs...she had her gun sight replaced with a silhouette of me...0
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He thought he saw Dead People & Aliens! or maybe it was because he thought he was M. Night Shyamalan. I forget which!0
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used a flamethrower to make crop circles in neighbors' yards0
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i didn't care for his close encounters0
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Her ideal Saturday night was sitting home on MFP in the threads0
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I needed freakier
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She was insatiable and did things with kitchen tools that kitchen tools were never meant for!0
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He didn't know how to cook0
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She got a tattoo on her butt that said DO NOT ENTER0
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You wouldn't hear me out I figured I'd let you read it you've done that mistake too many times
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gaved mixed messages0
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Said "gaved"0
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was always correcting me0
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refused to don a school girl uniform0
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I had to oil him up 3 times a day...my hands hurt 0
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I could never beat her at oil wrestling0
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Made me put on oil
"It puts the oil on its skin.."
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Was so slippery I couldn't cuddle her.0
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Kept hoarding all the olive oil. Now I know why0
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He wasn't a real doctor0
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She would eat crackers in bed0
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