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We broke up because...
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She always lost her head! Had to commit her to Shady Acres!0
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She put me into a FARM! Could not stand being covered in muck, and all my nails broke.0
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Such a Girlie Girl, wouldnt raise a finger to help!0
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Because she was always hopped up on coffee.0
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Contacted his friend in the DEA and tipped them off about my Caffeine addiction!0
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Replaced all her blood in her bloodstream with coffee, body could not cope.0
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She found another before I even keeled over!0
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she didn't appreciate my keelhauling her0
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He was too rough0
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She finally decided she wasn't into girls0
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She wanted another Girl!0
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No I didn't it's always been you..come back to me
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I gave her a choice..
Me or Coffee 0 -
Didn't try Hard enough!
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She got made when I put my finger in her holes
Yes, she's a little possessive!0 -
Caught putting fingers in holes
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Fingers went into the wrong holes......
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She did something with my Lady Fingers. Now I have no dessert! 0
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..she wouldn't *eat* her dessert 0 -
She never used her filter even when the pastor and his family came to dinner!0
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I caught her with the "pastor", and her husband 0
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Caught peeking in the pastors bathroom window...the scandal 0
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The pastor loved it! Stalked me with a massive camera crew....0
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Always talking about the pastors massive*camera crew*..yes thats a euphemism0
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She was secretly taping a reality show without my knowledge0
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our honeymoon tape got leaked0
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Was married to someone else0
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