We broke up because...
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wouldn't let me have a bite0
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I couldnt sit ..those bite marks hurt0
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she went to the bathroom and never came back0
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Got lost on the way to the outhouse, died of exposure0
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Fell in the out house ...
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Gave me tetanus0
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she had a pet snake she didn't tell me about! kept him in the outhouse
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A rare STD ....0
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discovered those bumps she had weren't from razor burn
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Wouldn't use the penis pump I bought him0
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bahahahaha
she didn't like the bait I fished with0 -
Cook naked..tired of picking hair out my dinner0
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she'd never been with a screamer0
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Tried to be the Naked Chef, a terrible boiling oil accident.0
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Would only ever let me see her from the waist down
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Always wanted my clothes off0
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Took her pants off for all the neighbours0
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she never wore clothes. It was a little awkward at family gatherings0
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Too busy putting on a show for the neighbours0
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I found out he did things in the back rooms of an adult shop.....
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Kept leaving with the mailman0
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was a mailman and delivered more than mail0
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always kept his cell phone on silent0
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Always sitting on his cell phone..literally..would put it on vibrate and sit on it0
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I caught her smooching with the mail man0
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haha he made me watch a cheers rerun marathon0
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He joined the army0
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She didn't laugh at my cheesy jokes0
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she ran off with Jody0
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He said I was too young0
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