We broke up because...

g44219

wouldn't let me have a bite

slimgirljo15

I couldnt sit ..those bite marks hurt

g44219

she went to the bathroom and never came back

Bonny132

Got lost on the way to the outhouse, died of exposure

slimgirljo15

Fell in the out house ...

handyrunner

Gave me tetanus

g44219

she had a pet snake she didn't tell me about! kept him in the outhouse

slimgirljo15

A rare STD ....

g44219

discovered those bumps she had weren't from razor burn

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't use the penis pump I bought him

g44219

bahahahaha

she didn't like the bait I fished with

slimgirljo15

Cook naked..tired of picking hair out my dinner

g44219

she'd never been with a screamer

Bonny132

Tried to be the Naked Chef, a terrible boiling oil accident.

handyrunner

Would only ever let me see her from the waist down

Jess1989ica

Always wanted my clothes off

slimgirljo15

Took her pants off for all the neighbours

g44219

she never wore clothes. It was a little awkward at family gatherings

Bonny132

Too busy putting on a show for the neighbours

slimgirljo15

I found out he did things in the back rooms of an adult shop.....

handyrunner

Kept leaving with the mailman

g44219

was a mailman and delivered more than mail

g44219

always kept his cell phone on silent

slimgirljo15

Always sitting on his cell phone..literally..would put it on vibrate and sit on it

g44219

I caught her smooching with the mail man

g44219

haha he made me watch a cheers rerun marathon

Mizzaf

He joined the army

handyrunner

She didn't laugh at my cheesy jokes

g44219

she ran off with Jody

Bonny132

He said I was too young