We broke up because...

jrline

you said leave the we didn't need to shut the blinds, how was I to know our neighbor was filming us?? how would I know we would become an internet sensation.

hikezilla

it was me not her...uh huh...NEXT!

kmayers143

It was him, not me.

jrline

she kept leaving the peanut butter with the lid off and it got all crusty

Spnneil06

he used peanut butter to rub on his nipples and let the dog lick it off. Gross!

WarDamnJay

She doesn't like peanut butter!

jrline

you rubbed peanut butter all over you and let the dogs lick it off and one time that opossum we rescued

Sinistrous

They didn't quite support my eating lint habit

bob108819

I wasn't getting enough lint for myself

jrline

kept pulling lint out of my belly button and eating it

keith0373

The people covered in mud thought he had cleanliness issues

JenniferLynWhatx

He killed a man in Reno just to see him die.....and then buried him...hence the mud

MaxPower0102

She doesn't think The Simpsons are funny

Sinistrous

Didn't want to share toenail soup

ovinas1

Didnt understand whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine

JenniferLynWhatx

Thinks The Simpsons ARE funny

jrline

never wears a bra

Go_Mizzou99

Wouldn't Prancersize with me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-50GjySwew

Becka4Real

I said I wouldn't be your pony!!

MaxPower0102

Wouldn't go to the Eli Porter show with me.

youtu.be/VY-JOD3P_Bw?list=RDVY-JOD3P_Bw

Sinistrous

They didn't know how to activate the massager

Timshel_

Couldn't solve for x

Sinistrous

Didn't realize that x didn't quite mark that spot

ovinas1

She bites back

lborsato1

he would not stop reading my journal and correcting the spelling mistakes

keith0373

She swore she never made mistakes. Everything was my fault!

MathDonkey

She kept a weird journal of fake sex encounters with famous people

lborsato1

me + them did not equal fun....

MathDonkey

She was terrible at math jokes

Becka4Real

I'm bad at math