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We broke up because...
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Wouldn't let me work in at the gym0
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smiled to damn much0
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never showered0
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Couldn't catch up to me0
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always had rollerblades on like it was 19970
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Kept stealing my sports bras0
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wore 20
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gravity took hold way too early0
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was too sensitive.0
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threw temp tantrums in the grocery store0
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He hated Metallica1
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had a side dude0
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didn't invit me to 3some
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Kept throwing money at me wile I was working out0
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wasn't on the list0
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never satisfied0
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Got a little frightened at how much "more" she needed.0
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never let me sleep in0
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she wore sunglasses in church0
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Hasn't accepted Cthulhu into her life.0
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never wanted to go anywhere , boring0
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The first one spent more than I could possibly make; the second had to be the bride at every wedding and corpse at every funeral - she soon turned into the Bride of Frankenstein0
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His jokes weren't funny enough
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Had no sense of humor0
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Always laughed really loud at my jokes, because I'm obviously hilarious. But the laugh was just too much0
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Never cooked me dinner0
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whateva. never cooked ME dinner0
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Never ate the dinner i cooked her0
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Her idea of breakfast in bed was a bag of cheetos0
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