We broke up because...
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he wouldn't let me fantasy about johnny depp0
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I was confused when she kept saying Johnny deeper during sex0
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She'd always scream out "Johnny, oh Johnny!" during sexy time!
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her hair was better than mine. And I help screaming it when I'm living in a fantasy world0
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She would always fantasize that I was bald
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She wouldn't ever go full bald 0
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He wanted me bald head to toe0
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She never shaved0
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She was too slippery in the shower
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Wanted to shave me!!0
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Wasn't into the same kinks0
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She was into too many kinks0
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She kept teasing me about my kinky hair0
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Her kinky hair kept teasing me !!0
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He didn't like being teased0
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She was nothing but a tease0
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I meant nothing to her0
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She wouldn't let me borrow her shoes0
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She was everything an I was a fling0
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She wanted me to dress up in her clothes
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He looked better in my heels then I did0
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She wanted head over heels and I wanted heels over head.0
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He preferred her heels over his head vs. mine1
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She never kept her heels on0
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He had a waterbed0
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Didn't appreciate that I liked to conserve0
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She wouldn't even flush the toilet...I'm for conserving but come on now.
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Didn't understand that what was hers was mine and what was mine was mine0
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I needed an IV to keep up with her0
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He couldn't keep up...0
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