We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

Always expected us to keep up with the Joneses

FabulousFantasticFifty

Was jealous that the Joneses were Jonesing for me

Just_J_Now

She was way too jealous. I couldn't even talk to anyone.

nitroalley

Broke the if its yellow let it mellow if its brown flush it down rule.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She had a potty mouth

Just_J_Now

She didn't like me yelling out obscenities.

IndianaGolfer

Never talked dirty to me, just the others, yes she had others

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was like the energizer bunny kept going and going and going and going and going
just about killed me!

Just_J_Now

lack of stamina

IndianaGolfer

She lacked flexibility

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

I couldn't make myself into a pretzel

Toneloe

Spent all our money on high heels.

FabulousFantasticFifty

I kept finding little blue pills on the bottom of my wine glass

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

She took the blue pill and stayed in the Matrix

Toneloe

@FabulousFantasticFifty
She kept saying that she needed something stronger than wine.

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Only cared about himself.

striderb

Never cared about me.

FabulousFantasticFifty

So dramatic.
He asked what I wanted for dinner and I replied "I don't care!"

slinkybinkydog

She is sassy one. Two sassys made it hard for us!

slinkybinkydog

I'm rough didn't want to scare her! Lol

FabulousFantasticFifty

She never use the lotion I bought her for her birthday or anniversary or for Christmas

slinkybinkydog

She would be convinced to shave. So hairy!

nitroalley

She tried to shave me while I was sleeping

FabulousFantasticFifty

Didn't like me being natural

slinkybinkydog

Her arm pit hair was so long I could swing on it like a vine!

FabulousFantasticFifty

What??? You said you liked it rough

nitroalley

Wanted me to sign a pre-nup. To date!

IndianaGolfer

He took me to the alley cleaners

slinkybinkydog

Didn't like all the bite and scratch marks

RunHardBeStrong

I'm Aly, Nitro left him here.. can't get rid of him...