We broke up because...

Shoebacha1

She wasnt a brony

Lioness_1978

Because she was always 2 strides behind

Shoebacha1

She sneezes on me all the time

Unknown

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Shoebacha1

His safe word was banana fanna fo fanna me my oh mana, banana!

davedoubleu

The horse came between us

Shoebacha1

He said he would try anything He lies

Bonny132

Preferred the horse to me

Shoebacha1

Said I smelled like a barn

brianapc

Always got comments about the horse

Shoebacha1

She wasnt pony enough for me.

Bonny132

Kept stealing my shoes, claimed to borrow them, but never gave them back.

Shoebacha1

Gave me athletes foot.

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

I was athletically insufficient by her standards...

Shoebacha1

Used big words all the time. Had to google half the *kitten* he said.

slimgirljo15

Loved her horse more than me

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

Me no happy - me so sad all the time with her...

slimgirljo15

2" was just not enough ..we were both sad about that

Bonny132

Refused to share

Shoebacha1

She said my downstairs looked more like and outtie belly button.

peanutbuttertuesday

She thought nunchucks belonged in the bedroom

Shoebacha1

She kept offering to help when I said I was going to poo. WTH is she offering to do?

davedoubleu

She rode the horse more than me!

grandslam1965

everyone thought I was her dad

Lioness_1978

Because everyone thought he was my dad

grandslam1965

she thought I was too old

Lioness_1978

Because he liked his muscles more.

lqqkingatu

She cooked muscles every single night

Unknown

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subcounter

she kept tickling me until I passed out. Her catch phrase was "Here comes the tickle!"