We broke up because...
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He watered our indoor plants with his urine0
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She couldn't handle the Catalina wine mixer0
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Her chewbacca mask was better than mine1
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She kept arguing that we needed more room for activities1
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I surrender in defeat0
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He was such a quitter0
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Gave up too easily0
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she refused to get in the swing0
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She copied everything I said, but with different words0
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He couldn't rock the f out of those drums like Dale could
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Had to get the last word in, always.0
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She had too many better answers than mine and made me wave a white flag1
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Kept calling me creepy.1
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Couldn't make a decent set of bunk beds0
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Collected her toenail clippings in a little jewelry box0
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Didnt like guacamole0
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Because I didn't like horseback riding0
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Didnt give her enough candlelight dinners0
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he used to squeeze when he should stroke1
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He was obsessed with waxing.... people stopped visiting as they were too scared he'd get them drunk and wax them in their sleep.1
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I really like tall, sophisticated men0
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I wasnt tall or man enough for her0
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For exactly that reason0
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She said Bumblebee Tuna after every joke she told0
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Kept making guano bowls0
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Kept shooting me in the arms with arrows0
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Here comebacks were way quicker than mine0
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Her hair was way more awesome than mine0
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She just always wanted to braid my mane1
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