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We broke up because...
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Didn't support my aspirations of being a professional cowgirl-themed lapdancer.0
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She never made any money being a cowgirl inspired lapdancer..she kept giving them for free0
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Had to give up clergy parking because of her.0
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Parked in my front yard all the time, and I got ticketed by the city.0
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Wouldnt share her happy pills0
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Had a pill problem0
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She thought I had a pill problem0
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Liked streaking in CVS0
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She didnt like my life time ban from CVS0
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Wasn't into girls..preferred cowboys0
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Stalked me across five continents with a boombox over her head looping 'Baby Come Back'0
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Awkward!0
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Did we??0
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Didn't take me trick or treating. Said I was too old.0
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Wanted to steal the kids' candy0
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Didnt like candy stealing thieves0
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He put his candy in the wrong lolly jar0
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She wouldn't stop licking his peppermint stick0
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Eating the filling out of Oreos, licking them and sticking them back together for the next person.0
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