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We broke up because...
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He wouldn't dress like a skeksis in the bedroom0
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Her idea of foreplay involved bird food.
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He didn't like my Mystic costume or my bird food recipe0
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She just,,She just, She Just ,,oh hell I forgot0
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He was suffering from Old Timers0
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She was everyone's good timer.0
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He always came back with something. I never got the last word1
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The last word I said to her was bye - bye. Hopefully she got the hint.0
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She was always dropping hints... hints and granades.0
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He was trapped in the 80's0
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She trapped me and insisted I was in my 80s -- she's nuts. Please send help.0
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He liked nuts..I didn't have any0
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She was Nuts!!!0
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In an argument, I said, "KISS THIS!" and she never stopped.0
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She insisted on putting hearts on everything0
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I kept trying to give her hearts. She said it was ‘morbid,’ and ‘creepy.’0
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We didn't. .he's still tied to my bed1
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Untied me from the bed so she could tie someone else down. :-(0
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He tried to burn me with fire0
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Wouldn't take my last name0
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He wouldn't get his penis surgically enhanced0
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She wanted me to add speed bumps to my bits.0
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He never liked my ideas0
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Didn't like sharing0
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She wanted a sugar daddy.0
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Found out he was broke0
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Cause she didn't like hanging on the beach.0
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