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We broke up because...
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Liked putting gogurt in weird places0
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Didn't appreciate me squirting my gogurt in her face and mouth at the big Thanksgiving family dinner.0
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kept wanting to skip leg day at the gym0
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Sat a chair in front of the hip abductor machine at the gym to awkwardly cheer people on.0
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Kept stealing my flash dance costume0
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Blinded me with science! (And, by "science" I mean "pepper spray.")0
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Wouldn't stop singing 80's ballads when we went out0
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Didn't like the nickname he gave me.0
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He liked to call me by his mom's name0
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Could never measure up to mom.0
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He said I fail at being sexy0
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She wasn't sexy ;p0
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She never let me win at Indian leg wrestling.0
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I was going to surprise him with a selfie stick but then I accidentally wrecked his house.....
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She used her "selfie stick" way too much0
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She didn't satisfy me0
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Said didn't like pizza0
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