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We broke up because...
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He was always to trying to come into my house and see my carpet0
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His hair wasn't long enough to get two handfuls0
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FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »He was always to trying to come into my house and see my carpet
I asked her about cleaning our carpets and she said there was no need... she had linoleum installed while I was on a business trip!
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She spent too much money on home improvements0
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He hid his hairy back from everyone, by never turning around.0
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He asked me to bleach his uranus0
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He like the smell of Clorox and was a brown-noser to boot!0
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Each time he unzipped his pants, he would bellow, "Release the Kraken!"0
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He was always talking about the time he encountered a Mythical Creature0
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Her curves required GPS and I have little data0
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He was always so hard on himself! It happens to everyone Honey!
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The only time she'd get on her knees was at church0
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He wasn't a true believer0
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At dinner parties, she impressed with her ability to fart "America the Beautiful"0
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He wasn't supportive when I wanted to show off my skills0
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She insisted on singing aloud to the radio but never knew the words. "Whoops I borrowed a pen" from Britney Spears was the breaking point0
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He had a Brittany Spears fetish0
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her refused to dress as Britney Spears for foreplay0
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I came home one day and caught him wearing a school girl outfit, Pigtails and all1
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She would never act out my School Girl fantasy during sexy time0
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She like weird roll playing
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I am allergic to cats0
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He was allergic to my *kitten*0
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Was always sharing his *kitten* with others0
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shaved her kitten into offensive images0
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Was a Prude1
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Too promiscuous
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She want promiscuous enough for me.0
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*wasn't0
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