We broke up because...
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He broke my G String0
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He wanted to put a pole in the bedroom0
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She drank all my beer0
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He stopped brewing me beer1
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He made me to to Oktoberfest0
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He couldn't handle his liquor0
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He liked to sleep in a coffin. That creeped me out0
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She refused to sleep with me in my coffin. How rude!0
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He confused a sarcophagus with a coffin.0
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He forgot my birthday for 30 years.0
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She turned 30.
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He couldn't carry a tune0
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He would never come home0
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She never showed up for adult time. I waited and waited but still no kelarita!!
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Wouldn't step up the phone selfie game0
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His selfies we're better than mine0
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He caught me sneaking back on the game boards
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Caught her sneaking a peek in the neighbours window0
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The neighbor was a Hottie and I was only Human after all!
(I couldn't stay away from the boards, I was going crazy from boredom!!!)0 -
we haven't broken up Linda, I'm still tied to your bed!!!!1
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He was always confusing me with Slim!
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Someone else had tied themselves to her bed.0
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He obviously knew that I had nothing to do with it, but blamed me anyway!0
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I was freaked out, he wasn't wearing much. I didn't figure out it was a self inflicted leashing to her bed until I ran away.0
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Ran for the hills, never to be seen again!0
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She was always bored with my games.0
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I left for a break and when I returned he had changed his name!0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDGhKS6bSAE
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