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We broke up because...
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He booked real animals, poop on the carpet everywhere0
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She mistook the extra fresh bbq meat for guests and let them in the house0
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He loved the mirror more than he loved me.0
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did not enjoy role playing...0
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INSISTED i call him Dungeon Master all the time0
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Idk why.. I came home from work and the furniture was gone0
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Because she insisted on too much furniture...0
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He insisted we walk around with boxes all the time.0
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He insisted we hire the lollipop guild from the wizard of oz to recruit for our new fight club! I disagreed thinking they could never keep the secret...first rule of fight club. YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!0
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Was always keeping secrets from me!0
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She burned my copy of "The Book of Secrets"0
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I found his little black book0
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I found her BIG black book0
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I caught him snooping in my underwear drawer0
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She told me if I didnt dye my ALL my hair red I had to leave....0
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She was a fake brunette0
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She always fantasized she was with Harry Potter and his wand when we were in bed together.1
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when she renovated the house she changed the locks and forgot to tell me, took that as a hint0
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^^ That's what he said every time!!!
I was afraid to hurt him
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Erecto Suspendo!
Decorated the house in the most hideous purple and black decor0 -
Didn't appreciate when I made the house look like him!
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You only did it so you didn't have to see me as I became camouflaged against the walls!
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He was never around!0
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She kept playing Gregorian Chant cds.0
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He insisted I called him "Justin" in bed and wouldn't stop singing, "Baby, baby, baby, oooohhh..." during sexy time.0
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She hated my sexy Love songs0
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She hated my sexy love thongs
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