We broke up because...

ladychris29

I couldn't get past the lisp.

TEQWAR

I couldn't get past the limp.... Not even the blue pills helped.

FabulousFantasticFifty

I concur!

slimgirljo15

She said she couldn't love me , I wasn't italian

FabulousFantasticFifty

She wasn't Australian Either! Imposter!!! She was actually from Albuquerque, New Mexico!

liftorgohome

She spent too much money on shoes

ladychris29

He said all the right sweet nothings... But he was always looking in the mirror at the time.

AliNouveau

She couldn't find Waldo

bigjuicy1234

Spent all her time trying to find Waldo

always_smilin_D

you insisted I could have carbs.

ryanthegreat314

Thought carbs were evil

bigjuicy1234

Didnt buy me a Korn shirt when he got his

liftorgohome

He really wasn't juicy at all

Keto_N_Iron

he was too juicy...

liftorgohome

She was too demanding

Keto_N_Iron

he didn't like being told what do while dressed in leather and wearing a leash... geez whats wrong with that?

liftorgohome

All he did was sit on the toilet b/c he drank prune juice all the time.

bigjuicy1234

Only bought single ply toilet paper

ryanthegreat314

Didn't like to cuddle

liftorgohome

Played nothing but Korn all of the time!

BreezyPeezy5

He told me to lift or go home so I went home... alone

TEQWAR

She took scissors to the string on my yo-yo.

always_smilin_D

his hair always looks better than mine

Keto_N_Iron

she never stopped smiling.. it was kinda creepy sometimes.

bigjuicy1234

Never smiled. I thought she was always mad at me.

DSwales11

Insecurity

slinkybinkydog

To shy

jamesakrobinson

She couldn't get aroused unless there were onions and garlic sautéed on the stove, thrash metal blaring on the stereo, and a big spotlight over the bed... It was quirky at first but I prefer hair bands and a strobe and she refuses to try it my way.

slinkybinkydog

He was terrified of me

MzIrish

he had onion breath