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We broke up because...
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She didn't like leg wrestling0
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She took better gym selfies than me.1
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He wrote songs for other Women0
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Hated my choice in music0
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I didn’t have what she wanted0
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my equipment wasn't what she wanted0
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She kept calling my penis "equipment".0
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She cut off my phone plan0
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Discovered her secret phone0
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Couldn’t keep up with all the Victoria’s Secret bills coming in1
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she was like a droplet of water, there one moment and evaporated the next.1
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She told you we broke up?! So that’s why my key didn’t work0
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he went to the wrong house. That's why his key didn't work0
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Been sleeping with the neighbors0
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We never started... this is My Fitness Pal... Not Plenty of Fish or Tinder FFS!
(feel free to dm me all those sexy pics still)
(That was a joke guys and girls... seriously don't they're not appreciated unless they're creative anyway)0 -
he drank all my beer0
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he kept standing in front of the mirror flexing and taking selfies0
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She was always running away0
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Wouldn't let me use the dumbells0
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Kept calling me dumbbell0
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he kept dropping the dumbell on my feet0
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Jumped rope in the middle of the free weight area0
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he took my jump rope away and told me i couldnt lift heavy stuff0
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She kept dropping the weights and tthe clunk bell would go off0
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I couldn't keep my hands off of him and he got annoyed.0
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Because of Artistic Differences...0
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Too many books on her lap1
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