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We broke up because...
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She was only talking about flying here and there it was so annoying. Like I'm not the World's Richest man.0
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He gave up on Jekyll and went full Hyde0
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Took hide and seek waaayyyy too seriously0
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Said my aural jokes were banal.1
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He’s gross 😂0
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She liked snakes toooo much.0
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She wasn't as adept at precious metal detecting as her personal had said0
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She frequently asked me to shave and carried a lint roller in a holster.0
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He didn't want a gf, he wanted a pet.0
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Brought the leather leash in to the relationship too early0
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He always made me shave his back hairs0
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Wouldn't do as he was told..0
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She wouldn't share her toys0
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He thought I was selfish0
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She was prettier than me and my fragile ego just couldn't handle that0
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She's a sweetheart, but I'm just not into blondes.0
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She wasn't into blondes
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She made fun of my magic.0
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Though making his *kitten* appear was magic0
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His magic trick was to make our savings disappear 0
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Didn't😉1
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They would deny everything0
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Didn't like my impractical jokes.0
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Her jokes were ..to be Frank... always about a guy named Frank ( her ex )0
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Had to break up with her because I needed new jokes so that meant a new ex.
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Always said we were getting back together ...then laughing and saying "just joking!" 😧0
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She wouldn't let me see her feet lol0
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Butter was his one true love0
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Always Buttering me up1
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