We broke up because...

liftorgohome

She was only talking about flying here and there it was so annoying. Like I'm not the World's Richest man.

terrordawg

He gave up on Jekyll and went full Hyde

TheMrWobbly

Took hide and seek waaayyyy too seriously

s131951

Said my aural jokes were banal.

terrordawg

He’s gross 😂

s131951

She liked snakes toooo much.

s131951

She wasn't as adept at precious metal detecting as her personal had said

s131951

She frequently asked me to shave and carried a lint roller in a holster.

slimgirljo15

He didn't want a gf, he wanted a pet.

TheMrWobbly

Brought the leather leash in to the relationship too early

liftorgohome

He always made me shave his back hairs

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't do as he was told..

liftorgohome

She wouldn't share her toys

studyhawk

He thought I was selfish

Unknown

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Masyn88

She was prettier than me and my fragile ego just couldn't handle that

chelagetsfit

She's a sweetheart, but I'm just not into blondes.

slimgirljo15

She wasn't into blondes

s131951

She made fun of my magic.

TheMrWobbly

Though making his *kitten* appear was magic

slimgirljo15

His magic trick was to make our savings disappear

lx1x

Didn't😉

TheMrWobbly

They would deny everything

KelleyCakes

Didn't like my impractical jokes.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Her jokes were ..to be Frank... always about a guy named Frank ( her ex )

PaperDoll_

Had to break up with her because I needed new jokes so that meant a new ex.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Always said we were getting back together ...then laughing and saying "just joking!" 😧

Buttermcbutter

She wouldn't let me see her feet lol

slimgirljo15

Butter was his one true love

Tigg_er

Always Buttering me up