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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    They had no idea how to cook, everything was raw!
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    HE HATED when I took chicken cordon "bleu" to a whole new level!!! :D
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    I thought I was being followed, because she was seeing people behind my back.
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    When you try your best but you don't succeed
    When you get what you want but not what you need
    When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
    Stuck in reverse....

    I tried but couldn't fix him
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She made like a leaf and split.
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    He bought camouflage and I never saw him again
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    She always complained that her glass was half empty and I told her it was half full.
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She said "my ex sounds like an owl"

    I said "who?"
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    he was obsessed with Hootie and the Blowfish
  • NoHookUpZone
    NoHookUpZone Posts: 1,531 Member
    He wanted my pumpkin cinnamon rolls
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She's obsessed with pumpkin rolls.

    What kind of person doesn't share?
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    he liked pumpkin everything
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    It was past midnight and she turned back into a pumpkin
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    She took my James Franco doll out of the original packaging. Who does that?
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    he liked Burger King and not McDonalds. I just couldn't deal with that
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    I forgot her name.
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    He called me Betty, I called him Al and then he wasted a ton of money getting diamonds put on the soles of his shoes....sooooo weird
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She didn't like my diamond step. Or more specifically what it did to her hardwood floors.

    (Also AL is very close to my middle name xD)
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    he wondered who wrote the book of love and decided to not leave the library until he figured it out. Sadly he couldn't read
    halflingpie wrote: »
    She didn't like my diamond step. Or more specifically what it did to her hardwood floors.

    (Also AL is very close to my middle name xD)

    Al is what most people in real life call me!!!!! :#
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She played it so cool, obeying every rule
    Deep way down in her heart
    She was burning, yearning for the some-somebody to tell her
    That life ain't passing her by
    I tried to tell her
    It will if she doesn't even try
    She'll get by if she'd only cut loose

    Footloose, kick off the Sunday shoes
  • NoHookUpZone
    NoHookUpZone Posts: 1,531 Member
    Told me to stop shopping
  • ctmoore1982
    ctmoore1982 Posts: 586 Member
    Because she was parked in a no hook up zone...
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    Because as Captain he had to go down with the boat.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    He sunk my battleship
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    Turns out he’s a pirate only interested in my booty
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    She didn't get that I only tried to bury her because I treasure her.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    The heart in his chest belonged to another.
  • halflingpie
    halflingpie Posts: 1,582 Member
    He kept trying to get me to walk his plank.
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    She couldn't find my plank with both hands and a torch
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
    He would only listen to the Eagles!!! Like they're ok...

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