We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She spent all our money buying gifts for her Boytoy!

Tigg_er

She kept buying me too many gifts

KelleyCakes

He wouldn't let me drive.

Buttermcbutter

She wouldn't let me in her hamik

AliNouveau

He used butter for everything but eating ....sunscreen, soap

melissawill2017

I had to bait his hook 🙄🤦‍♀️

Crissypanda

She was too pretty

happimess01

She kept demonstrating to other men how flexible she was

bellacelina2

because he liked donuts more than me

liftorgohome

She ate too much junk food

happimess01

He wanted to be the one to walk down the aisle at our wedding and I hated that

Crissypanda

He is a cartoon character

TheMrWobbly

She thought I was too comical

melissawill2017

He likes to look in the mirror at himself too much.

LonniJay

She never wore deodorant

happimess01

so I can have a painter immortalize that strong jawline

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was more a mess than happy 😋

Tigg_er

She did'nt like my messes

s1im62

She was a hot mess.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Blamed me for the mess in his life 🤨

PopRox90

she chose a bearded guy over me

lukechart4

she used those eyes on someone else

MzIrish

he kept disappearing

Josh_2099

I told her I was a Blackhawks fan.

s1im62

She kept trying to get my attentions during Blackhawks games, and she's dang distracting!

slimgirljo15

The Blackhawks were his passion. I tried everything to get his attention, sadly my naked pole dancing couldnt even draw his attention..

Josh_2099

The pole dancing was great. It became awkward when it the flag pole in the park. I tried to encourage more private areas. The affection had to shine.

PopRox90

he wanted me to move somewhere cold

Minion_training_program

She made me wear a different choker every day

Minion_training_program

She kept eating my meals when i wasn't looking

This would actually happen for real and you know it