We broke up because...

Callousedthoughts

Called me Paddy Daddy in public, and I told her the handcuffs were for private play only

Soon2BSuper

She didn't like my Sugar

Masyn88

Showed far too much skin in church

Soon2BSuper

Made me go to church despite the pandemic

happimess01

Spends hours inside the confession box

Soon2BSuper

She ghosted me.

Masyn88

He was afraid of ghosts... and rejection

lx1x

She sees dead ppl. 😳

riffwalkdale

She didnt appreciate me hanging upside down and hissing whenever the shades were opened.

happimess01

she wanted to do the upside-down spiderman kiss and ended up breaking her neck

Soon2BSuper

She didnt appreciate me washing her windows....all the time... waiting for the shades to open.

Callousedthoughts

Washing my windows was a euphemism for a tong...nevermind

PaperDoll_

I thought I was getting a calloused tongue... but no... misread.

Cat0703a

Her tongue was calloused and it wasn’t because she was licking my envelopes. 😒

Callousedthoughts

The ride was just too bumpy, had to get off

slimgirljo15

No riding

Callousedthoughts

The spurs hurt too much

happimess01

she left me as soon as Dan became single

slimgirljo15

He, he.. idk... maybe he just didn't love me 😭

slimgirljo15

Bridge_marie wrote: »

She can be my sancha

deal

FabulousFantasticFifty

¡Se convirtió en la Sancha de María y ya no quería ser mi pequeño amor Australiano 😢

Callousedthoughts

She didn't practice santeria

Masyn88

He wanted crystal "ball" implants ...

ClimbingWolf

she wasn't impressed by my natural 'balls'

FabulousFantasticFifty

Ever hear of "Manscaping"??
🤨

Cat0703a

Always pouring hot wax on me when I least suspected it.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Wasn't kinky enough 😜

Cat0703a

Her idea of kinky was leaving the lights on

FabulousFantasticFifty

Everytime I disrobed, she'd scream and shut off the lights 😩

Cat0703a

Her life sized tattoo of my face on her belly was a frightening tribute to me.