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We broke up because...
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She would not move to Ireland0
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He wouldn't move to jersey0
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She hid from me0
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He forgot to bring me coffee in bed0
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She spilled it on my privates. I think it was on purpose0
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He was a butter fingers who spilled coffee all over my white duvet0
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She couldn't keep her hands off, I was trying to eat my breakfast ffs0
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He put orange juice in his cereal instead of milk. That's when I knew we had no future.0
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When we got ready for bed it was yabadabbado.
Then she would yell out bam bam. Bam bam bam bam bam bam0 -
Found out he was showing his club to Pebbles0
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He had Fred flintstone feet0
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Cartoons were his life0
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Couldn't take his animated reactions0
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Asked me to dress up as Jessica rabbit wtf0
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Wouldn't dress up as Jessica Rabbit.0
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Acted more like bugs bunny. Ooh those teeth!0
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He didn't have teeth0
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She looked like tinker bell but sounded like Ursala0
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