We broke up because...

SuzyQAzureblue

She kept yelling Duck!!! but I just covered so obviously it didnt work out

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

She couldn't pronounce the safe word.

47Jacqueline

We didn't speak the same language

MrsGreen140

She intimidated me with her stretching

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

I always had to limber up before we got down to it.

slimgirljo15

He wasn't limber enough

couleesmile

She would always stare at me weirdly

Lol!

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

She thought I was staring at her weirdly, when in reality I just thought she was really pretty and always wanted to look at her.

SuzyQAzureblue

I couldnt believe my eyes were seeing how she was twisting and turning

musclegood_fatbad

didn't like to twist and turn.

slimgirljo15

Hell no ..you can't leave me...

I will hunt you down my love...Oh btw Im ignoring the restraining order

blondeinnj

the long distance relationship was awful

3AAnn3

she was too hot to handle.

musclegood_fatbad

She only thought blondes were hot

slimgirljo15

Damn man..I just finished telling you ..we aren't breaking up...

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Wouldn't stop trying to get back with her ex

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't make it a 3some

GFitMan

wouldn't join my harem

GreenGoddess22

Has a harem

musclegood_fatbad

I would never wear green for her

blondeinnj

He cheated on me with every girl on the block

rdouma73

She came to Florida, but didn't visit me!

GFitMan

was too busy attending all her Ms East Coast commitments.

blondeinnj

Had another wife in Canada

Snow__White

too many threesomes

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

I always felt like an empty tube of toothpaste.

suzreen

Because he was prettier than me and I couldn't stand it!

GFitMan

blondeinnj wrote: »

Had another wife in Canada

she just advises me on the differences between the American and Canadian healthcare systems.

...

she doesn't want me to inquire about anything

slimgirljo15

So many wives he couldn't remember my name

GFitMan

i have an app for that now but she left anyway