We broke up because...

Fvaisey

I think she was tired of me worshiping the ground she walked on...

siport

he kept kissing the floor and i had just mopped it

asianfashionista86

BeCause he fell out of love

KenziesFrenzies

He had a thing about always wearing his suit when he showered. It was weird.

sixxpoint

she wanted to get a breast reduction

Spnneil06

I was tired of him ending up in jail

kjm3579

She kept saying she was going out to visit her friend in jail, always came back with her underwear missing

47Jacqueline

He missed the point.

kjm3579

She was always waving around her blunt pencils, I never understood her.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didnt speako Ingles!

Fvaisey

She knew I fantasized that she was Greta Garbo...

FabulousFantasticFifty

He kept insisting that I was a time traveler!

GFitMan

she wouldn't even give me the time of day

SojournerThirteen

He was goin around hoggin everyones day light

slimgirljo15

I was embarrassed by his grass skirt wearing habit

PewterSky

She was embarrassed by a lot of things I did and would always be complaining about it.

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

I came home one day and she had cut out the nipples and crotches of all my clothes.

asianfashionista86

He wouldn't eat the booty like groceries

YAMBAM20

I ravaged the groceries,

Spnneil06

Couldn't keep food in the house

FabulousFantasticFifty

Never shared the Goodies and left me with Grits and Oatmeal!

Becka4Real

I didn't like grits. She left immediately.

sixxpoint

Dead fish in bed

Becka4Real

Couldn't tell if I was awake or sleeping

YAMBAM20

Broke my pelvis "experimenting"

Becka4Real

He never used the safe word... then blamed me for injuries

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didnt take his "Vitamins" ;p

YAMBAM20

Tried slipping horse tranquilizers in my food.

_Tink_

He kept calling me mom.

YAMBAM20

Was in denial that I was the father.