Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Motherhood is one long series of guilt, in my experience. We just all do our best and hope for the best. Usually things turn out ok.riderfangal wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »I am on p 992. Here is my most embarrasing (or perhaps a tie) moment.
My most embarrassing moment.
Too funny! Breastfeeding, for me, was always uncomfortable. My son, the first kiddo, never took to it which was probably in part due to the fact that I wasn't that excited about it. I joked at the time that he was the first male to ever refuse...my chest area. LOL! I did BF, mostly pumped because I'm OCD, my daughter, the second and last kiddo, for about six months. I justified BF'd her because she had to go to daycare at six weeks while I was able to stay home with my son for the first eight months.
I didn't breast feed my son and sometimes I feel guilty about that especially because he was premature.
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I am on p 992. Here is my most embarrasing (or perhaps a tie) moment.
My most embarrassing moment.
Once upon a time I lived in one major city and as things worked out my now ex husband and I and our then baby girl were going to move back to where I grew up. For ease of writing this I will choose a name for baby girl, Molly, (not her real name.)
The move was of a distance that would require several days of driving. My genius plan was for 6 month old Molly and I to fly ahead and ex would follow a week or so later with our belongings. It was a great plan. I researched flying with babies. I researched busy flights vs lighter flights. After all my research what I came up with was flying mid-morning mid-week. Somehow I figured that this flight would not be busy. Molly was still being breastfed at the time. I was discrete and covered but I did breastfeed as unobtrusively as possible in public. I booked two tickets on the mid-week, mid-morning flight. My plan was to put the baby car seat in the middle and sit by the window so that I had extra privacy when nursing. Molly despised the car seat and screamed every time she was placed in it so having her in the car seat on the airplane was never part of my plan.
The day started off ok. I had on a t-shirt type blouse on with jeans. I carried a light baby blanket, the diaper bag, car seat and Molly when we boarded the airplane. Here is where my plan started to unravel. I was not allowed to put the car seat in the middle so it was next to the window and Molly and I were in the middle seat. I rolled with it. I was going to make this work. Plus, the seat next to me on the aisle was empty. Just before the doors closed to the airplane a very handsome man about my age (late 20’s) in a full, dark suit sat down in the aisle seat. He was very good looking and he seemed nervous. We didn’t acknowledge each other. Molly was at the age of alertness and a beautiful baby.
The airplane started taxing down the runway. I had heard that nursing on takeoff and landing was very helpful in preventing ear pain and preventing baby Molly from crying. We started the taxi and I put Molly on the breast farthest away from my seatmate. Molly started happily nursing. The plane was about to take off when the safety announcements started with a loud hiss and squeal. Baby Molly jerked her head toward the noise. This threw off the light blanket covering her. She had not let go of my nipple when she jerked her head. In fact, there was quite a vacuum formed. So when her head jerked quickly and unexpectedly away from my body there was a loud and obvious “pop” noise as the vacuum from her mouth nursing was broken. This noise was immediately followed by a light spray of breastmilk crossing over to the arm/suit jacket of the man in the aisle seat next to me. I covered myself quickly. I watched in horror as those tiny little droplets of milk soaked into the sleeve of his suit jacket. He had not responded /moved during this but I assume he had to have noticed something. We did not make eye contact or acknowledge each other during flight. I was horrified and mortified. What do you EVEN say to some stranger you’ve inadvertently sprayed with your breastmilk?
I’ve always wondered if he knew the extent of it, it was fine droplets but how could he not? Since then I’ve come to see the humor in it, but it took me years to get there.
Ah,the joys of nursing.
I was car shopping with a friend while I was still nursing, and while walking around the lot, I started leaking and didn't realize it until I looked down and my shirt was completely soaked. It was definitely NOT my most embarrassing moment but it wasn't my best either.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Stopping by briefly to post my own bicep pic! I wanted in on the action.
Very nice, my friend!
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pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.
Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!
I hate being naked. I hate skin touching skin. And I totally hate when running any part of my body touching any other part. I tried running in a sports bra ONCE. Never again. Yes I am a prude (I believe I have said this before).
I hate being naked too. Even in the shower. I get dressed as soon as humanly possible. I put on undies right after a shower.
Hmm not being naked in the shower might be hard...but I dress immediately as well. Or put a robe on. I don't like to be without undies either.
Is it T-8 now? Or 7?
I know it's impossible to be unnaked in the shower, but I get in and get out with the quickness.
Yesterday was T-7 but now, it's T-6 or 5 depending on when you're reading this.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »@MoHousdon, I just saw a story about a pitbull in CT that was just reunited with his family after being lost for 1.5 years! There are always so many stories of dogs/cats finally making it home after being lost for many months and even years!! I just wanted to give you a little bit of hope in the safe return of Owen! Never give up hope
First of all, aren't you the sweetest?! I hope he does return. Secondly, did you know I'm an avid pit bull lover so I adore this story is about one being reunited with his family. Thanks for sharing this, @kelly_c_77 .
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I want to confess this to see if anyone else does this.
Something I do to motivate myself to keep losing is once I've lost enough weight to fit into the next size down no matter how well that next size fits even if I'm slightly sucking in to fit I switch all my clothes to that new size and get rid of all my others to motivate me to keep going.
I've did this with getting out of maternity clothes, getting out of XL, and now out of large and into size mediums. My husband hated this at first and questioned it and now he goes with it and encourages me to buy whatever clothes I need in that next size.
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So...I made crockpot Mac n cheese tonight. I added everything up and fit it into my goal. Well it would of fit if I wouldn't have 3 servings of it! I went way over. 2 things I cannot eat in.moderation: icecream and pasta.0
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maryelgin1988 wrote: »So...I made crockpot Mac n cheese tonight. I added everything up and fit it into my goal. Well it would of fit if I wouldn't have 3 servings of it! I went way over. 2 things I cannot eat in.moderation: icecream and pasta.
This is why I rarely eat either! Ah well it happens.0 -
shawnaes91 wrote: »I want to confess this to see if anyone else does this.
Something I do to motivate myself to keep losing is once I've lost enough weight to fit into the next size down no matter how well that next size fits even if I'm slightly sucking in to fit I switch all my clothes to that new size and get rid of all my others to motivate me to keep going.
I've did this with getting out of maternity clothes, getting out of XL, and now out of large and into size mediums. My husband hated this at first and questioned it and now he goes with it and encourages me to buy whatever clothes I need in that next size.
That is great! The last time I lost a lot of weight I got rid of all the really high sizes I had bought simply because I was the heaviest I had ever been and donated all of those. I kept a range of smaller sizes. What got me motivated this time around was gaining enough wait I was no longer fitting into the smaller sizes I had kept. So I do think this is a good thing. If you never want to fit into that size again why keep it?0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.
Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!
I hate being naked. I hate skin touching skin. And I totally hate when running any part of my body touching any other part. I tried running in a sports bra ONCE. Never again. Yes I am a prude (I believe I have said this before).
I hate being naked too. Even in the shower. I get dressed as soon as humanly possible. I put on undies right after a shower.
Hmm not being naked in the shower might be hard...but I dress immediately as well. Or put a robe on. I don't like to be without undies either.
Is it T-8 now? Or 7?
I know it's impossible to be unnaked in the shower, but I get in and get out with the quickness.
Yesterday was T-7 but now, it's T-6 or 5 depending on when you're reading this.
T-5 you must be so excited! I hope you and the hubby have everything all straightened out so you can just enjoy yourselves!
I assume you know I was kidding on the shower (is hard to tell sometimes in this forum and I don't want you thinking I was being sarcastic).0 -
Quiz to see how well you Yanks and C'nucks understand proper British English, just in case we do all get together for a tea party one day:
http://en.what-character-are-you.com/d/en/1041/index/5577.html
Thank God I got 15, that would have been embarrassing!
Out of curiosity, which one's did you struggle with? It never even occurred to me people wouldn't understand some of those sayings. lol0 -
rachael00679 wrote: »Happy Birthday too me.
I had a great weekend. I think my food intake was pretty good but wow I drank a lot. I had planned to take the entire weekend off and not log at all.
Back on the MFP bandwagon today after having a fab time with friends.
Off the drinkies again now until December 3rd... this has all been preplanned. Cant wait to see what the next few months bring and if I can get the rest of the weight off.
All the best.
Happy birthday and good luck!0 -
Glad someone got it! Love Arrested Development.pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.
Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!
I hate being naked. I hate skin touching skin. And I totally hate when running any part of my body touching any other part. I tried running in a sports bra ONCE. Never again. Yes I am a prude (I believe I have said this before).
I hate being naked too. Even in the shower. I get dressed as soon as humanly possible. I put on undies right after a shower.
Too funny. Especially the 'there are literally dozens of us'.
Hello all - hope everyone's had a great weekend. I took my dad to the dinosaur museum today for our Father's Day treat. My husband's working away this week, so we'll have his Father's Day when he gets back. I also worked on a cover solution for our west-facing back deck, which is unusable in the summer because it gets so hot. Maybe I'll post a picture of the final result when it's complete.
Eating wasn't bad - didn't go over cals despite a burger & fries lunch today, plus a fair amount of chocolate. I can't seem to understand why I'm always under for protein and over for fat! I'm SO close to a 'healthy' weight, it's tempting to crash diet for a week to get under 150, but I won't. Am determined to go slow and steady this time. Only 1.5lbs to go, then another 5 after that to get to my first goal. ALL of my 'thin' clothes fit now, which is awesome. I've decided to get rid of big stuff that I don't like much anyway, but certain things I'm going to pack away out of sight, just in case. I regained everything I lost before and felt sick having to buy new everything, so I'm not doing that again. If I can keep the weight off for a while, then I'll consider letting it all go. Unfortunately I don't have a good record in that department. 
Yep I am thinking of doing things the same thing. I am so happy being this size. I just don't trust it to last. Even though the only person that can screw it up is me!1 -
pofoster21 wrote: »annette_15 wrote: »God I might finally give in after having read every single post in this thread so far. I'm 40 pages behind and really struggling to keep up. *sadface*
I did it you can too. And I was so behind after missing 2 days!
Ditto...went away for two days...700 posts to catch up on!
Oh, and I thought it was a shark finger too not a cute baby limb. Now I've seen it for what it really is it's even cuter.
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Laurend224 wrote: »I can't do any type of jumping jacks or running without my belly smacking the top of my thighs. It's really embarrassing. Going to talk to a surgeon about a panniculectomy. Three kids and yo-yoing between 140 and 252 a few times wrecked my belly.
OMG - yes. Its so uncomfortable to run when you're fat. My jogging bottoms/ leggings keep falling below 'the bump' and the top keeps rising over 'the bump' and its gross - thank god I have a treadmill in my garage.0 -
This weekend I went away to an adults music weekend at Butlins and I meticulously logged every single food and drink item consumed and am very proud of myself for doing so. I did go over slightly on calories but it's to be expected. I enjoyed seeing my miles/steps going up from all the dancing!
My confession is I'm proud I didn't feel guilty about anything I ate or drank as for the first time in a long time I practised moderation at one of these events. E.g had Papa Johns buffet for dinner but didn't go crazy with it, ate until I was full not stuffed. Didn't then have late night Burger King etc. Didn't drink too much alcohol and still had a good time. These holiday camps are full of fast food establishments and bars so moderation is not encouraged haha!
This thread has taught me it's normal to enjoy foods and a little extra here and there bears no odds on your long term goals and commitments.
TL, DR? Went on a weekend away & wasn't greedy thanks to what I've learned in this thread!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Stopping by briefly to post my own bicep pic! I wanted in on the action.
Holy wow! Well done! My arm strength is zero. I have overhead presses today and they are going to suuuck.
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I finally found PB2 in a shop. I like making it up to a paste and eating it. I also like putting it with banana and yoghurt for breakfast0
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pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »I don't know how to eat "healthy" and do not know what good nutrition means. Also, I am a compulsive overeater/food addict that is finding it very hard to find recovery.
I missed this post first time around. Thanks to mrbungle for quoting.
You are not alone. Many people here are battling the same as you. I have a medical diagnosis of binge eating and compulsive eating and have had counselling and all sorts. Some days the binge monster wins, some days I win.
Set yourself smaller goals, and focus on the positive. Perhaps every meal, where you keep to your portion, pat yourself on the back and say well done. Say nice things to yourself. Tell yourself how well you did.
If the binge monster gets you, when you're finished say, ok you won the battle but I'm winning the war, we're done for now. Then, if you're able, go do something nice for yourself, like a short walk, or a nice bath.
Don't focus on the food, focus on being nice to yourself, even when you've slipped, practice thinking good things about yourself, even if its just to say, that was a binge, but I'm finished now,I don't need more, well done for recognising the end. The start is to take away the guilt/shamre/self loathing. Sounds easy right? Its not, it takes a lot of work.
If you're able, put nice messages on your cupboard/fridge doors, like I have beautiful eyes, I am a great person, my dimples are cute, do that so you can remind yourself every time you open the door that you are more than a bingre eater.
Once you get in the habit of being nice to yourself, you (we, because all of us here will support you) can help you tackle the food side. The key is taking very small baby steps. Maybe an hour, or meal at a time. Don't think of the big picture, just focus on your feet*
* I'm climbing a mountain in 2 weeks. All through our training we have said, never look at the summit, or you'll get disheartened on how far there is to go. Instead, look at your feet and where you're going to place them next. Celebrate each step you take, because it moves you forward.
A book I find useful is 'brain over binge' by Kathryn Hansen. Not the same circumstances, but talks about binging as a monster, and a 2 year old child and once you engage with it, start negotiating, you've lost. (I hope I'm allowed to recommend a book without getting a warning).
Use this thread. If you are feeling bingey, come and post here. We're all over the world, so there's usually someone awake. And feel free to message me if you want to talk
You're not on your own
Very well said. I have a quote on my wall at work that says it's never too late to become the person you might have been. I love that quote. There are endless possibilities in life and you choose where to take it.
I echo orangesmartie and mrbunglex welcome and stick around. You will be glad you did!
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the support. This binge eating cycle is such a hard one to break.
Don't focus on breaking it, because breaking things is bad right? Focus on winning, the next meal, the next hour, the next five minutes or even one biscuit less. Focus on the gaps between binges, and celebrate every minute or second of them. Shift from negative to positive
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This past weekend I ate and ate when I wasn't hungry. I've been maintaining my weight loss for over 6 1/2 years and I still have problems with boredom. I no longer buy Peanut Butter because I'll eat the whole jar during the weekend; however, it doesn't matter what "little" is at my house I will binge on something and that is sad.
This thread is very helpful thanks for starting it.0
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