Don't read this if brutal honesty (or profanity) offends you..
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danelutza19 wrote: »Wheelhouse15, I truly appreciate you bringing the internal vs external locus distinction into play. Focusing on this one argument at hand, would you agree that it is erroneous to dissect human beings to their most basic system components, analyze them out of context and offer certainty conclusions?
Relashionship doesn't prove causality!
My biggest issue was the futile information, blurred out from a place of anger, without serving a real purpose.
We post here because we try to support, encourage, help one another and provide helpful information. Throwing blame is the opposite of working towards a solution! It actually resembles bullying and it's never productive! If something isn't productive what is the point of throwing it at the world ???
To dissect into such components is generally a bad thing to do since locus of control can shift within an individual over time and even between subjects. A highly successful business person can still be dominated by their spouse, for instance, and there is also interplay with attribution bias, learned helplessness, etc. A person might normally have a good internally focused locus but feel helpless when it comes to their weight. It would be better to focus on shifting their focus back to their own actions and triggers in such a case.
Other issues may be that a person feels out of control because they lack basic information rather than inability to control behaviours and in that case education is essential and might be all that is needed for the person to assume control.
It seems to me that this person prefers a specific type of client and that's his prerogative. Some may react well to this approach of "tough love" but other will require a different approach. To me I wouldn't want him as a coach because if I'm paying I want someone who offers more respect than he seems willing to show to his clients. Others may appreciate the kick in the butt approach he offers and that's fine for them.
As for people on the forums, well they are many and varied and I think you have to be aware that sometimes what seems like rude or bullying behaviour isn't meant that way. Some people offer support in different ways and you just have to expect that you will disagree and that's ok too even if we don't always appreciate the message sometimes it's something we need to hear or at least should examine.
TL;DR: we are rather complex and not so easy to classify. We need to accept that we might not always agree with others but that's just the way the Net, and life, is.
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Wheelhouse15, lovely way to end a controversial debate. I think you proved a point in elegance: balance on the forums and in life is achievable through presenting different and sometimes opposing arguments.0
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He's making some big assumptions that are not always going to lead him to the correct conclusion.
That having been said, I LOVE his take on treats.0 -
BA in sociology=least rigorous undergraduate degree available0
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christinev297 wrote: »Oohh I'm going to post this on one of my fasting groups, as there's so many whiny cry babies there.
My whole post got deleted once because I said the word "damn". I'll probably get banned after posting this
I read a post by a woman who's doing a PSMF and has lost only a couple of pounds after a month. She's clearly doing it wrong, but all she did in response to other people's comments was make excuses. I wish I could send her this blog post.
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"Remember earlier when we talked about being a grown *kitten* adult? Take that to heart again."
I might need to frame that and take it out on Mondays and Tuesdays when I am cranky and I just don't wanna do anything (get out of bed, log all my calories, go to work, be professional, exercise, handwash my laundry, etc).0 -
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Awesome is all I have to say about this blog. Good points and I agree that it all falls on the individual to get their *kitten* together.0
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danelutza19 wrote: »Wheelhouse15, lovely way to end a controversial debate. I think you proved a point in elegance: balance on the forums and in life is achievable through presenting different and sometimes opposing arguments.
Must say I agree with you on most points.
My own comments were primarily related to the "habitual" whiner and excuse maker - not beginners or people "really" doing the best they can. I know people that for lack of a better word - refuse to grow up. They have been whining for "years" - and no matter what the topic - weight, marriage, relationships, career etc - they play the victim.
I'm not a fan of this "trainers" approach to people in general. I actually took the post, as an opportunity to vent frustrations more than to help another person.
I must have been a bit tired when I made a couple of my own comments.
I do believe in "tough love" - but only after an extended period of time - sort of like the alcoholic; some people need to hit bottom before they look inward. I love trying to encourage sincere people that are "fighting" the battle. Heck -- I was a weight-loss failure MANY TIMES!
Sometimes, message boards can be a difficult method of clearly communicating all thoughts.
Have a great day!
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danelutza19 wrote: »Wheelhouse15, lovely way to end a controversial debate. I think you proved a point in elegance: balance on the forums and in life is achievable through presenting different and sometimes opposing arguments.
Must say I agree with you on most points.
My own comments were primarily related to the "habitual" whiner and excuse maker - not beginners or people "really" doing the best they can. I know people that for lack of a better word - refuse to grow up. They have been whining for "years" - and no matter what the topic - weight, marriage, relationships, career etc - they play the victim.
Yeah, people with that special victim mentality will drive you nuts.
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Yes I printed this out and highlighted the good parts in yellow.0
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christinev297 wrote: »Oohh I'm going to post this on one of my fasting groups, as there's so many whiny cry babies there.
My whole post got deleted once because I said the word "damn". I'll probably get banned after posting this
I read a post by a woman who's doing a PSMF and has lost only a couple of pounds after a month. She's clearly doing it wrong, but all she did in response to other people's comments was make excuses. I wish I could send her this blog post.
I actually considered running PSMF just an experiment to see if I physically and mentally could. I decided not to do it because I can see myself not strangling someone in the first 3 days.
Best to avoid any big bodybuilders who are using that for stage prep -- flying plates and dumbbells may be good for agility training but can certianly hurt!
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Massive cultural chasm - his melodramatic hyperbole doesn't translate to the UK; a nation defined by our self-deprecation and gentle grumblings over cups of tea.0
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danelutza19 wrote: »Wheelhouse15, lovely way to end a controversial debate. I think you proved a point in elegance: balance on the forums and in life is achievable through presenting different and sometimes opposing arguments.
Must say I agree with you on most points.
My own comments were primarily related to the "habitual" whiner and excuse maker - not beginners or people "really" doing the best they can. I know people that for lack of a better word - refuse to grow up. They have been whining for "years" - and no matter what the topic - weight, marriage, relationships, career etc - they play the victim.
NikonPal you have earned my respect and admiration a long time ago! I will go on record and say that with your dedication, consistency and success you can write this very article and nobody should dare dismiss it because you write from a place of power, from your own experience. You're a fighter in this game not just someone on the sidelines screaming.
In the end, this just proves that we are wonderfully complex beings and we shouldn't be summarized by a single paragraph!!!
Isn't it amazing how one single article can spark such different reactions in readers?
Have a fabulous day!!!0 -
NikonPal you have earned my respect and admiration a long time ago! I will go on record and say that with your dedication, consistency and success you can write this very article and nobody should dare dismiss it because you write from a place of power, from your own experience. You're a fighter in this game not just someone on the sidelines screaming.
In the end, this just proves that we are wonderfully complex beings and we shouldn't be summarized by a single paragraph!!!
Isn't it amazing how one single article can spark such different reactions in readers?
Have a fabulous day!!! 0 -
This looks like it might be a good read.0
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I have not seen very many people at all that have done it successfully. Over on BB. I've never actually seen someone try it here, at least in the forums. Most here don't know what it is and I'm sure it won't go over well.Wheelhouse15 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Oohh I'm going to post this on one of my fasting groups, as there's so many whiny cry babies there.
My whole post got deleted once because I said the word "damn". I'll probably get banned after posting this
I read a post by a woman who's doing a PSMF and has lost only a couple of pounds after a month. She's clearly doing it wrong, but all she did in response to other people's comments was make excuses. I wish I could send her this blog post.
I actually considered running PSMF just an experiment to see if I physically and mentally could. I decided not to do it because I can see myself not strangling someone in the first 3 days.
Best to avoid any big bodybuilders who are using that for stage prep -- flying plates and dumbbells may be good for agility training but can certianly hurt!
True but I've seen people try it in the gym under the Dukan name. It's easy to tell when they are on it!0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »BA in sociology=least rigorous undergraduate degree available
+1, said the clinical psychologist
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This guy isn't being brutally honest. He's just blaming other people for his failure as a successful motivator. In the first two minutes of meeting someone, he's not assessing where they are and what are the best tools to help motivate them. He's merely assessing whether or not they will be successful with the single tool he's offering, and he can't even see that's what he's doing.
And he misspelled "title."0 -
Gosh, if being healthy were as easy as following this guy's simplistic advice we would all look fantastic. America is in the middle of an obesity crisis. The issue is much, much more complicated than this guy's advice can fix. Culture, emotional problems, poverty, just a simple lack of love and respect for each other are all things contributing to this problem.
I agree, however, that realizing your are responsible for fixing your own situation is the first step to take. I just disagree that it is that easy to do.0 -
This guy isn't being brutally honest. He's just blaming other people for his failure as a successful motivator. In the first two minutes of meeting someone, he's not assessing where they are and what are the best tools to help motivate them. He's merely assessing whether or not they will be successful with the single tool he's offering, and he can't even see that's what he's doing.
And he misspelled "title."
Ha Ha. Good point.0 -
Also don't read if you only have a few minutes and need someone to GET TO THE POINT. Why are you (the author) rambling about lions in captivity in a blog about weight loss? The swearing is the least of your problems. And you may be honest but you also sound a bit conceited. Just being honest.0
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Wow exactly what I needed to read this morning0
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Can he come live with me fora week? LOL It was not offensive and it is something we all should read.. because it's honestly not just about weigh loss.. It's about our lifestyles in general.
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This I awesome. Love the paragraph where he speaks about how privileged we all are. I always try to remember this when I am upset about something.0
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herrspoons wrote: »This guy isn't being brutally honest. He's just blaming other people for his failure as a successful motivator."
You are aware of the phrase 'lead a horse to water', right?
He's absolutely spot on.
I'll lay money on the people getting butthurt about his article being the ones who will ultimately fail in their goals.
There is a difference between getting butt hurt and disagreeing. I think if his approach works for someone that is great. I don't know, if someone tells me they don't give a s*** about me I tend to move on.
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Well I agree on the guy's take on what a treat is and that it's not to be consumed often. I wish more people on here did actually understand that rather than advocating regular consumption of junk and fast food "because you can fit it in your calories" (which many of us can NOT, if we plan to eat more than once a day.... not that I want to in the first place. I cook better than the McD's.)0
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Thank you for posting! Totally useful!
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