She just doesnt get it!
Replies
-
no my 12 year old cooks for himself. and always says thank you for the meals i make him!
What you should do is apologize to your poor mother, and tell her how much you love and appreciate all she does for you, because one day she will not be here to coddle and take care of you, which means you will be alone and have to do everything for yourself. Including paying that "$1300" in rent (that's pretty damn cheap, by the way) that appears to be so repulsive to you.
Jesus, you act like you're 12.
This IS EXACTLY what you should do when you get home this evening...at minimum...a bouquet of flowers would be great too, but, at least apologize. Signed a mother of a 25 year old son who does NOT live at home.0 -
Had I said that to my mom while living with her when I got home I would have gotten smacked in the face. Just sayin. Even now I think she would still smack me if I lived closer and did that.
PS I have 4 kids that almost daily say thank you for their food. I do get the occasional ugg or eww but my kids r 2,4,7,and 12. Also the older 2 help cook and they all help do dishes.0 -
put your own roof over your head. until then stop crying like a baby that mommy is feeding you
^^^That. Exactly. Time to put on your big boy pants.
If I may, it's really not uncommon for Italian men and woman to stay in the nest until they are married. FYI- there may be some cultural misunderstandings here. He's not refusing to put on his big boy pants- He is (I assume) doing what is normal and expected in his community by still living with his parents even though he is an adult.
Is it also expected that Italian men and women will be so disrespectful to their parents while living as grown adults in their parents' homes?
I would really like to understand this, because where I come from, disrespect is a great way to get your teeth knocked down your throat.
Oh hell no! HELL NO. *shakes head vigorously*
I was just responding to the part about knocking him for living at home.
ETA: and i'm sorry about the physical abuse you had in your house. That sounds horrible
Disrespect is not ok. Neither is hitting your kids like that 0 -
Wow OP, you hung up on your Mother? :noway:
Maybe a topic should be started about you called "HE just doesn't get it!"0 -
I don't even live in the same STATE as my parents and I STILL wouldn't hang up on my mom like that, especially if she was offering to cook food/send food. She'd drive 28 hours to come whoop my butt if I did that. :laugh:
Everytime my parents visit me for a week or so, they take me out to lunch/dinner about a half dozen times. And I go. And I eat. And I offer to pay for it, but they never let me. I make decisions about food in a responsible way, while enjoying time with my family and showing them that I appreciate their kindness. (Newsflash: Parents don't actually HAVE to feed you.)
Buy/make your own food, or learn to have healthy portions of whatever she is kind enough to make for you. It sounds like you have it in your head that she's trying to "sabotage you" or some nonsense like that and that it's all on purpose to make it harder on you. Chances are that it's not, she's your mother, she's trying to take care of you the only ways that she knows how.0 -
I just had a child tell me ugh about dinner. She is 12. I told her she is more than welcome to do the cooking...but she's not allowed to feed us like we're 4. Guess who ate the dinner provided.0
-
She doesn't get it...Ok so you are upset about her putting food in front of you. It is a conditional thing as you say an "Italian" thing. You need to politely put it I am not going to lose weight and get healthy unless you support me that you cannot eat what you used to including the heavy sauces carbs and oils that are classic Italian dishes. They should support you instead of sabotaging. I would be frustrated too. But since you say you can't or won't move out then you need to cook for yourself eat with you're family but don't partake in their high fat and calorie items. Good Luck. It will get better0
-
Unless they are following a diet they don't always get it. It doesn't click for them why you are doing what you are doing and why you have decided to do it this way. Sometimes sitting down with your food diary and showing them the in and outs with food and also talking to them about the differences between all the macros and why you choose higher protein rather than carb they will begin to understand and will probably not question why you eat the way you want to.
I hope you find a good way to get through to them so they can respect your choices a little bit more.0 -
Ok so I hope im putting this in the right spot but... I get a call from home andthe convo went something like this...
mom- are you going to the gym tonite?
me- yea im not sure how long ill be. Whats for dinner?
mom- Pasta with broccoli
me- Im not having that, The pasta... and the oil. ugh
mom- have a little
me- you cant just have a little and think its ok, its not enough food and too many calories and carbs.
mom- so just take a lot of broccoli
me- ::click::
She just doesnt get it.. im trying to lose weight here and eat my protein and clean food... "having a little" just isnt gonna cut it! I wish there was a way for her to understand but there really isnt. Being from a pretty hardcore italian family we have pasta 2-3 nights a week. Dad doesnt like whole wheat pasta and god forbid I dont eat whats cooked... Its so frustrating that even when I make my own food she still gets upset bc I didnt eat what she cooked. I wish someone would come in and scream at her at wtf shes cooking. Anyone know how I can get it thru her thick head?
sorry about that!
(rant over)
I completely understand. I used to be just like you. Ungrateful for what my mother did for me out of love. Now that she's dead, I'm free to cook my own meals.
But now that my evil mother who fed me all the yummy, nutritious and filling foods (yet somehow I stayed thin with her cooking, magic I know) is dead, I now have this Satan's minion of a sister-in-law cooking for me daily. She just doesn't get it. She feed feeding me carbs and beans and lentils and veggies and meats and cheese and eggs and dairy. I am forced to tell her how much I will have to taste her yummy and nutritious foods and make my own salad to fill the rest of my calories and my belly like a grown up. I don't wanna be a grown up. If I wanted to be a grown up, I wouldn't have turned 29 years old...
You too Taunto? Seriously. Why do people do all of these nice things for me all the time?0 -
She doesn't get it...Ok so you are upset about her putting food in front of you. It is a conditional thing as you say an "Italian" thing. You need to politely put it I am not going to lose weight and get healthy unless you support me that you cannot eat what you used to including the heavy sauces carbs and oils that are classic Italian dishes. They should support you instead of sabotaging. I would be frustrated too. But since you say you can't or won't move out then you need to cook for yourself eat with you're family but don't partake in their high fat and calorie items. Good Luck. It will get better
He hung up on her, so yeah, he needs to work on the "you need to politely...." part of your comment.0 -
Ok so I hope im putting this in the right spot but... I get a call from home andthe convo went something like this...
mom- are you going to the gym tonite?
me- yea im not sure how long ill be. Whats for dinner?
mom- Pasta with broccoli
me- Im not having that, The pasta... and the oil. ugh
mom- have a little
me- you cant just have a little and think its ok, its not enough food and too many calories and carbs.
mom- so just take a lot of broccoli
me- ::click::
She just doesnt get it.. im trying to lose weight here and eat my protein and clean food... "having a little" just isnt gonna cut it! I wish there was a way for her to understand but there really isnt. Being from a pretty hardcore italian family we have pasta 2-3 nights a week. Dad doesnt like whole wheat pasta and god forbid I dont eat whats cooked... Its so frustrating that even when I make my own food she still gets upset bc I didnt eat what she cooked. I wish someone would come in and scream at her at wtf shes cooking. Anyone know how I can get it thru her thick head?
sorry about that!
(rant over)
I'm more bothered by the fact that you hung up on your mom.
0 -
He's 31. Post history0
-
Unless they are following a diet they don't always get it. It doesn't click for them why you are doing what you are doing and why you have decided to do it this way. Sometimes sitting down with your food diary and showing them the in and outs with food and also talking to them about the differences between all the macros and why you choose higher protein rather than carb they will begin to understand and will probably not question why you eat the way you want to.
I hope you find a good way to get through to them so they can respect your choices a little bit more.
Your last sentence: .I think the OP hanging up on his mother is not a good way to get through to them. And maybe he can get them to respect his choices if he can learn to respect them.0 -
She cooks for you...you live with her...she pays all the bills...does she also do your laundry and pay your cell phone bill? I think she should kick your @$$ to the curb and make you learn what it is like to be an adult and live in the real world.0
-
depending on what else you've had today just have a cup of pasta and the rest broccoli. Maybe see if you can find out whats for dinner the day before so you can plan for it. Either that or follow what so many others have suggested and just buy your own groceries. O0
-
My brother talked like that to my mom once. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Once.
Don't be rude to your mother.
Learn to cook, and prepare your own food.0 -
after reading other posts I want to add and or agree with many MFP posters. You should be ashamed of yourself! OMG really? I thought at first you were a young woman who was having a caniption fit over her calories. Only to find out you are a spoiled rotten disrespectful manchild. You're mother loves you feeding you what she does is what she knows. You can and should cook you're own food if it bothers you that much and to hang up on her is surely no way to win her heart. In the blink of an eye life can change. We don't know what tomorrow brings. You hung up on her in anger. What if that was the last conversation you ever had? I don't have a perfect relationship with my parents. My mother is in ill health and I call her every morning and call her to say goodnight every night
we are only five minutes away from each other but there are times it seems like miles away and that we can't seem to see each other much how odd. Cherish the times you have respect them..Ok rant over....0 -
He's 31. Post history
31 years old! Really?? And can't afford a place of his own. Jeez!0 -
Long Island is the most expensive place to live in the country?
I guess those people in Manhattan and pretty much every other large city should just quit their whining...
If you can't have "just a little" then it's your problem to deal with. Yes, your mother should support your efforts to lose weight, but I question how much of an effort you're really making if you can't just avoid putting more food in your face than you should.0 -
Seeing the Yankees logo on the hockey sweater told me everything I needed to know about the OP.0
-
You will have to confront her, sit her down and tell her you really appreciate that she is cooking for you, but you are trying something new to see if it works for you. Every once in awhile it will be okay to eat pasta, it isn't something you have to completely cut out, and maybe if you want to eat whole wheat, ask your mother if she insists on cooking for you (or you can do it yourself) to make your portion with whole wheat pasta if she doesn't mind. Buy your own groceries and cook your own meals throughout the day, and if she wants to give you some food, just take a small portion. Make room for it in your food schedule every couple of days or so. There are plenty of ways to solve the problem, but you shouldn't have hung up on your mother. From what you typed, it doesn't seem like she was trying to be mean.
EDIT: I had NO idea you were 31...sorry, but I find it a bit ridiculous you can't afford your own place. Maybe you should be focusing more on becoming independent and acting your age and less on what you're focusing on for awhile. I'm 22 and I live on my own, child and husband and all. Sure I don't live in Long Island, but you could certainly live somewhere else. Take my prior advice too, but definitely learn to stand on your own two feet.
Mermerm0 -
If this was me I'm pretty sure my father's zombie would rise and murder me slowly. But he wouldn't be able too cause I myself would have travelled back in time and shot myself in the face for being that ungrateful and rude.
0 -
I am sorry that you are not getting the best support from your mom or some of the others on this topic. My mom I love dearly but we come from a long line of nurturers and there is much food volume that comes with that! I do not live at home.....I am 46....but I live out of town and stay there often for a visit. I have a hard time sticking to a healthy eating there because I don't want to be rude or ungrateful for what she prepares. I just try and make my breakfast myself......and go and get other bits from the store to fill out the meal times.
Just get a few things from the store for you to eat.....things that will fill in an nutritionally lacking meal. Or....tell your mom that you will grab a bite out before coming home and pack a lunch sack for dinner!:happy:0 -
Oh!!! Totally misunderstood!!! You are a MAN!!! I thought you were a 20 year old girl!!! Now I do not feel bad for all these negative posts. I agree.....grow a set Mr!0
-
You gonna pay my rent? Long Island in the most expensive place in the country to live. Im not paying 1300 a month for an apt to pay someone elses mortage... MY mom isnt a stick either and shes gained a substantial amount of weight in the last few years too, but you cant tell her that.
LI is the most expensive?? Then I guess I'm not paying almost twice that in rent to live on my own in Manhattan. Btw, the year I did live at home during school, I bought my own groceries and made my own food. Don't disrespect your mom who is giving you a free ride.0 -
He's 31. Post history
31 years old! Really?? And can't afford a place of his own. Jeez!
WHAT?! I thought this was some teenager. I take back everything I said earlier. 31 - make your own damn dinner.0 -
I just had a child tell me ugh about dinner. She is 12. I told her she is more than welcome to do the cooking...but she's not allowed to feed us like we're 4. Guess who ate the dinner provided.
i just want to say, this is how i was raised too (and trust me i was a VERY picky eater) and you know what? I grew up just fine. although i might have hated the liver and lima beans, i didnt die0 -
If you ever move out, you'll be grateful everytime your mom cooks for you when you come home. Even if you learn to cook her meals it never tastes as good.0
-
Sounds insanely cheap! Here a one bedroom will run you about $2,000+ in a BAD neighborhood -.- I've lived on my own since 17. Your mother doesn't understand because she isn't in this war.0
-
LOL is this real life? This can't be a serious post.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 430 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions