She just doesnt get it!
Replies
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You hung up on your mother. You're completely ungrateful for her feeding you and providing you a roof over your head. You said she could stand to lose some weight.
You get ZERO sympathy. Grow up and learn to treat your mother with some damn respect.
^^QFT
I sincerely hope you make it up to your mother for your horrible treatment and massive disrespect.
the whole point of changing your lifestyle to be healthier is about changing YOU, not everyone else changing around you to accommodate you.
You have to learn how to live in this world and eat in this world in a healthy way when there are a lot of roadblocks
YOU have to learn moderation, YOU have to learn control....nothing is really changed if YOU don't learn these things...
not your mother learning them for you and handing the results to you on a silver platter.
either eat her good food and learn to stop when you should stop, or make your own.
and say you are sorry. that was a horrible thing to do to her, hanging up on her like that.0 -
I have two children that say "ugh" at nearly every meal I serve. They're both under the age of 6. What does that tell you about your own behavior?
How about you use the $1300 you're saving on rent, buy some groceries and cook dinner for your mother. She might appreciate it, since she lets you live at home and all...0 -
If my adult son spoke to me in that manner, or hung up on me, he'd be coming home to his clothing in the front yard.
Did I say "in the front yard?" I meant all over the front yard.
I never made my kids eat what I cooked - they were free to make themselves a sandwich, or a bowl of cereal, or a hot dog. As they've gotten older, they are more than welcome to buy their own food and cook for themselves (after I'm done cooking, or before, but not during) if they don't want what we're cooking. But the disrespect for me ... that crap wouldn't fly. They'd be finding their belongings in the front yard and the locks changed. And a note that said, "Good luck with the cooking lessons."0 -
You gonna pay my rent? Long Island in the most expensive place in the country to live. Im not paying 1300 a month for an apt to pay someone elses mortage... MY mom isnt a stick either and shes gained a substantial amount of weight in the last few years too, but you cant tell her that.
Woe is me. Welcome to being an adult.
And if you're not in a position to move out, buy your own groceries and cook your own meals.0 -
I understand where you're coming from. I've recently moved back home from uni after living in my own place for 5 years and it really is a struggle to go from being independent to having someone dictate what you must eat for tea. You just need to remember that your mum isn't doing this to annoy you, or try to hinder your weightloss, even though it can be incredibly frustrating! Even if what she is cooking is healthy I understand that it can be frustrating not knowing exactly how much you are eating. I like to measure out everything to the T, so when my mum cooks for the family I worry because I can't be as precise with my calories. Mentally, it's quite tough because you're making such an effort with your diet and you don't want to inadvertently ruin it by eating something you haven't made yourself.
If its possible to buy your own shopping then definitely do that. But if not, just speak to your mum... Let her know how hard you're trying and explain why you don't want to eat the food she cooks. Tell her in advance that you don't want something so that she doesn't make a portion for you and you then feel obliged to eat it. Or you could offer to cook for the family, that way you can control what you eat. I pretty much do all the cooking for my family now and that way it takes the stress off my mum and I get to decide what we eat
You could even just ask your mum to weigh everything out, so that you at least know how much you're eating. At the end of the day, eating the pasta isn't going to be a problem for weight loss, provided you're eating at a deficit. My carbs are set pretty low, as my trainer recommended it, but I have plenty of days where I go over my 48g and it has not made the slightest bit of difference
don't worry too much, if you have a serious one to one chat with your mum I'm sure she'll start to see things from your perspective good luck! 0 -
Then why did you ask her what was for dinner? Grow up and make your own food.0
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Just realized the OP is male (won't say "man").
Who raised you boy?
Why didn't your daddy give you enough of an a$$kicking early in life to teach you respect for your mother?0 -
Portion it out a cup of pasta is more than enough and load up extra on the broccoli. Tell you Mama how much you love it and appreciate her cooking because one day she wont be there to cook for you.
Whenever I see my Mama she makes me iced tea. I cherish those times.0 -
I live on my own.
My parents don't cook the healthiest food, but it is WONDERFUL. I love visiting because they always have leftovers.
Wanna know the best part? I DON'T HAVE TO COOK IT! Although I have other family issues, I miss living at home just for that!
The grass is greener on the other side. If you don't like it, leave. If you can't, it's not your house. Figure it out. Make a salad. Plan your meals on a daily basis. Ask your mom what she thinks you are going to have for dinner. Expect that *gasp* you are going to eat pasta, account for it in your diet, and eat around that. Then you can be nice to your mom, eat that wonderful meal that you didn't have to shop for, cook and watch everyone else eat away your hard work, your mom will feel happy that she was able to provide for you, and everyone wins.0 -
So your mom offered to cook dinner for you, you didn't like what was offered, so "click" .. you hung up on her.
I wish I could be supportive, but ... Nah.0 -
Afraid of carbs and fat, huh? Pasta and Broccoli sounds like a pretty healthy dinner to me. But to each their own, I suppose. Do what works for you.0
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Im not paying 1300 a month for an apt
Wait, you can get an apartment for $1300 a month?
This. Can someone send me the classifieds? I might be moving to Long Island soon.
Oh and grow up. If my YOUNG children talked to me the way you talked to your mother, they would learn quickly what it felt like to go to bed hungry.0 -
It's interesting that posting in the "Support" forum has garnered so much animosity. *shivers*
While I never had to turn down my mother's cooking in fear of weight gain (she's always been a lazy cook and her meals aren't all that appetizing), my boyfriend/life partner likes to eat out a lot. He has a very physical job where he's moving, lifting, bending, etc. a lot. I have a sedentary programmer job where I sit at a desk 9-11 hours a day. I am tired when I get home and don't always want to cook, and he isn't good at cooking and will sooner order take-out than try to make a meal for us. It's hard to turn down the easy route, but it's also frustrating to be the only one trying to plan healthy meals.
OP's choice has nothing to do with a lack of gratitude. If I have a bad week and end up baking three different desserts on the weekend, say cookies, cupcakes, and cinnamon rolls, my bf will eat them, but swear at me the entire time for "making him fat." It's a choice to put those things in your mouth, but we all know that you can't just have ONE bite of cake, or ONE cookie when the entire batch is sitting there with its delicious smell beckoning you. Italian mom's pasta is probably a bit less healthy than he makes it sound, and much more appealing than being able to have "just a little".
My recommendation would be to compromise. Go food shopping with mom or sit down with her to plan out meals for the week. Become a part of the daily feeding rituals and introduce some healthy alternatives to her go-to dinners. Offer to cook a couple nights a week and ask her to try "just a little" of some options that YOU want to eat. You will be able to happily sit down to a meal with her, and also help the family eat healthier. On days when she makes something a bit more rich than you'd like, track your portion size and your calories from that meal, and make sure to burn it off that day or later in the week.
One pitfall to weight loss is trying to ban yourself from eating everything that you previously enjoyed. If you continue to indulge from time to time, with moderation, and burn extra calories when you do, you will go far. Just remember that when things seem to reach an impasse, look for a compromise. It's better than stressing out and fighting about it, which can have a negative effect on your fitness goals.
Good luck!0 -
I am the same way. I would rather have none than a little pasta or carbs type stuff.0
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Not to be a jerk, but Long Island doesn't even make the list of top 10 most expensive places to live. I actually live in one of the most expensive places to live (coastal north county San Diego) and I'm not paying anywhere near 1300 to live in house a block from the beach. Regardless, I get not wanting a tiny portion of something unhealthy, so just make your own food. You can't expect your mom to make a separate meal for you or something.0
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You know, the more I ponder your entitled attitude and disrespectful behavior toward your mother who has housed, clothed and fed you for apparently far too long, I hope you GAIN weight instead of losing it.0
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It's not for your mom to get. It's for you to figure out how to not eat so much.
And really, there's gonna be a day when mom's isn't there to cook and you're gonna wish you had some of her home cooking.
I instruct my clients not to deprive, just moderate. It's easier to live a good life when you can eat what you actually want to.
Buck up dude.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Im gonna go call my mom and thank her for cooking me all those millions of meals for so many years!
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Ok so I hope im putting this in the right spot but... I get a call from home andthe convo went something like this...
mom- are you going to the gym tonite?
me- yea im not sure how long ill be. Whats for dinner?
mom- Pasta with broccoli
me- Im not having that, The pasta... and the oil. ugh
mom- have a little
me- you cant just have a little and think its ok, its not enough food and too many calories and carbs.
mom- so just take a lot of broccoli
me- ::click::
I wish someone would come in and scream at her at wtf shes cooking. Anyone know how I can get it thru her thick head?
sorry about that!
(rant over)
Don't be so mean to your mum, she loves you, so she doesn't understand doesn't make her thick. Show your mum respect by not hanging up on her for such trivia.
Maybe someone should scream at you "cook your own food and stop being mean to your mum".
Yea that too!0 -
If I have a bad week and end up baking three different desserts on the weekend, say cookies, cupcakes, and cinnamon rolls, my bf will eat them, but swear at me the entire time for "making him fat."
This thread is depressing.0 -
im from a big italian family, my ma could only really cook one thing: many differnt variations of the same pasta dish lol so i hear what you're saying. maybe have a big salad before what you and everyone else eats for dinner. I'm a mom and can see why yours gets upset her family wont eat what she thinks is good food. best of luck to you. if your dad is unhealthy maybe you can get mom on yourside or help her - give her a hand with a few dinners a week im sure that would be welcome. strike a balance and eat an amazing breakfast and lunch so you can afford a little grease at dinner. 0
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Um it's pasta.. It won't kill you.
Plus there are no "clean" and "dirty" foods.. food is food.
As long as you are under calories, you will lose... end of story.
ETA:I see that you want a girl to ask you out and that you want to be in a relationship. What the hell are you going to do if the girl you decide to date says no to you? Whine and cry until you get what you want? Grow up
Ummm wrong...clean foods ='s unprocessed, no boxed foods, foods with no additives is clean foods. It's not about the diet part of this lifestyle change it's about getting rid of those pesky additives in your food. Yes you will lose if you eat less but to be the best you can be get rid of the stuff that's bad for you.
Oh and what is so wrong about saying his mom just doesn't understand what he's trying to accomplish with her life. He probable loves his mother very much but when mom cooks she doesn't take his needs into consideration, so he's a bit peeved. He'll get over it or he'll start buying and cooking his own foods, really that is all the needed to be said, anything else is other people being in a bad mood and being grouchy or just wanting to start an argument.0 -
So...you buy your own groceries and make/cook your own meals and that's that.
Btw- I can't believe you hung up on your mom because she didn't cook something you wanted for dinner. How rude.
You are doing this for you. You cannot force your whole family to change just because you want to. Tell your mom you love her, but what she is making is too high in calories, so you are going to cook your own food. Or eat a small portion with your other food that you have made, as not to hurt her feelings. Or work out more and eat what you want. There are plenty of solutions here that wouldn't hurt your mom's feelings.
Most people won't get it. That doesn't give you the right to be mean to your mother (or anyone else) about it. Remember this is all about Your health and Your goals. If people don't get it, oh well, just keep doing what you are doing and let it go, don't be a jerk about it.0 -
Typical entitled Long Island young adult. You make the rest of us look bad, because this is exactly the reputation we have.
Eat the God damn pasta. What the hell is the matter with it? A serving of pasta is PLENTY of food. If it bothers you SO MUCH how about you buy your own? This way, you get to eat exactly what you want, and your mother doesn't have to put up with your entitled little **** attitude.
You're living in a house where your dinner is cooked for you, presumably rent free, and you have the nerve to be upset because the free food someone else is cooking for you isn't exactly what you desire? You're going to have a lovely time in the real world if that's your attitude to not getting what you want.
What you should do is apologize to your poor mother, and tell her how much you love and appreciate all she does for you, because one day she will not be here to coddle and take care of you, which means you will be alone and have to do everything for yourself. Including paying that "$1300" in rent (that's pretty damn cheap, by the way) that appears to be so repulsive to you.
Jesus, you act like you're 12.0 -
If I have a bad week and end up baking three different desserts on the weekend, say cookies, cupcakes, and cinnamon rolls, my bf will eat them, but swear at me the entire time for "making him fat."
I can dig it. I have my "Weakness" foods that I just cannot eat a few. I have told my sister-in-law to only offer me small amounts and to hide the rest. She doesn't have to work hard since I don't really know what/how she arranges her kitchen and fridge but its not really hard to get portion control.
These are the same people that sue fast food companies for making them fat btw...0 -
You know, the more I ponder your entitled attitude and disrespectful behavior toward your mother who has housed, clothed and fed you for apparently far too long, I hope you GAIN weight instead of losing it.
talk about disrespectful, sheeesh she's a bit upset give her a break0 -
This dude is a troll, right?0
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Ok so I hope im putting this in the right spot but... I get a call from home andthe convo went something like this...
mom- are you going to the gym tonite?
me- yea im not sure how long ill be. Whats for dinner?
mom- Pasta with broccoli
me- Im not having that, The pasta... and the oil. ugh
mom- have a little
me- you cant just have a little and think its ok, its not enough food and too many calories and carbs.
mom- so just take a lot of broccoli
me- ::click::
She just doesnt get it.. im trying to lose weight here and eat my protein and clean food... "having a little" just isnt gonna cut it! I wish there was a way for her to understand but there really isnt. Being from a pretty hardcore italian family we have pasta 2-3 nights a week. Dad doesnt like whole wheat pasta and god forbid I dont eat whats cooked... Its so frustrating that even when I make my own food she still gets upset bc I didnt eat what she cooked. I wish someone would come in and scream at her at wtf shes cooking. Anyone know how I can get it thru her thick head?
sorry about that!
(rant over)
All I can say #1 if I talked to my mom that way she would have beat the ****z out of me. #2 you are living under her roof and she is being kind enough to cook for you so RESPECTFULLY decline or eat what she makes #3 I spend more than $1300 on a house note per month and I know that is high. While living under there roof cook your own meals to fit your needs.
you might be a nice person but from what I read of your rant I think you are a *kitten*. I guess since I lost my mom 2 years ago and I miss and appreciated all she did for me. Seeing/reading you rant makes me want to f-ing slap sense into your spoiled whiney *kitten*0 -
cook your own meals...and do something nice for your mother. jeesh. talk about ungrateful.
This!0 -
What's amazing to me is that Italy didn't really have an obesity problem until many Italians became 'Americanised' and started eating more and more fast food and American-style ready meals. Now Italy has the highest childhood obesity rate in Europe. If I were you I would eat what your mum cooked because it's actually HEALTHY!! I would also apologise over and over again for being so ungrateful and whiny. Then read some scientific literature regarding the importance of carbohydrates to the human body and the difference between complex carbs and simple carbs, and stop acting like an uneducated Dr. Oz fan who thinks carbs are BAD. Stop acting like a child. Start acting like an adult.0
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