She just doesnt get it!

CorvusCorax77

How about I move in with your mom and you come out here and try to figure out what to feed two toddlers that is semi-nutritious and they'll eat?

hahahha! This is the best response ever.

Also, I think I'm gonna have pasta and broccoli tonight. It'll fuel my dead lifts later on

PlayerHatinDogooder

This seems quite similar to the disagreements alot of spouses have with each other . . . .

Maybe you should marry your mom?

Skratchie

put your own roof over your head. until then stop crying like a baby that mommy is feeding you

^^^That. Exactly. Time to put on your big boy pants.

If I may, it's really not uncommon for Italian men and woman to stay in the nest until they are married. FYI- there may be some cultural misunderstandings here. He's not refusing to put on his big boy pants- He is (I assume) doing what is normal and expected in his community by still living with his parents even though he is an adult.

Is it also expected that Italian men and women will be so disrespectful to their parents while living as grown adults in their parents' homes?

I would really like to understand this, because where I come from, disrespect is a great way to get your teeth knocked down your throat.

Elisirmon

I say tell your mom how lovely her meal is have a small portion and then make a huge salad for the family and scarf down that then help clean the dishes!

hungryhobbit1

How about I move in with your mom and you come out here and try to figure out what to feed two toddlers that is semi-nutritious and they'll eat?

hahahha! This is the best response ever.

Also, I think I'm gonna have pasta and broccoli tonight. It'll fuel my dead lifts later on

Aww. My (12 year old) daughter just came home and I gave her a big hug and reminisced about when she was a toddler, and we used to eat wagon wheel pasta with broccoli together for lunch, just about every day. Definitely going to cook with her more often.

staplebug

I understand that it can be hard when not everyone in the house is on board with your diet and exercise. It's frustrating. I didn't start losing weight until I had moved out and cooked for myself. And if she is upset that you don't eat what she cooks, make your own meals but help her understand what losing the weight means to you. Make sure she knows that it is important to you without bringing her weight or insecurities with it. Your whole family doesn't have to diet, but you must have a way of doing this by yourself.

MercenaryNoetic26

Move out. Cook your own food. Problem solved.

lol, THIS! or eat the pasta. Measure out 1 serving of pasta and throw in a chicken breast and voila! Everyone is happy!!!!!

ETA: Oh, and Mexicans and their fried beans and rice! They don't give the guilt trip, tho, like Italians. If you don't want it, F'off! LOL My mom will never get upset if I don't eat her cooking.

UTVolsGrrl99

Friend, I want to try to understand, but everyone else has already said what is needed to be said.

I'd give anything for my mom's home cooking. She has ALS and can't cook anymore.

ellepribro

Is this legitimate? You should be grateful to have a mother who cooks meals for you. Show some respect.
“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”
― Maya Angelou

roxierachael

I swear to god, I thought you were a 16 girl until I clicked your profile. Pathetic. You know you can always judge a man by how he treats his mother.

annabellj

What you should do is apologize to your poor mother, and tell her how much you love and appreciate all she does for you, because one day she will not be here to coddle and take care of you, which means you will be alone and have to do everything for yourself. Including paying that "$1300" in rent (that's pretty damn cheap, by the way) that appears to be so repulsive to you.

Jesus, you act like you're 12.

no my 12 year old cooks for himself. and always says thank you for the meals i make him!

This IS EXACTLY what you should do when you get home this evening...at minimum...a bouquet of flowers would be great too, but, at least apologize. Signed a mother of a 25 year old son who does NOT live at home.

scythswife

Had I said that to my mom while living with her when I got home I would have gotten smacked in the face. Just sayin. Even now I think she would still smack me if I lived closer and did that.

PS I have 4 kids that almost daily say thank you for their food. I do get the occasional ugg or eww but my kids r 2,4,7,and 12. Also the older 2 help cook and they all help do dishes.

CorvusCorax77

put your own roof over your head. until then stop crying like a baby that mommy is feeding you

^^^That. Exactly. Time to put on your big boy pants.

If I may, it's really not uncommon for Italian men and woman to stay in the nest until they are married. FYI- there may be some cultural misunderstandings here. He's not refusing to put on his big boy pants- He is (I assume) doing what is normal and expected in his community by still living with his parents even though he is an adult.

Is it also expected that Italian men and women will be so disrespectful to their parents while living as grown adults in their parents' homes?

I would really like to understand this, because where I come from, disrespect is a great way to get your teeth knocked down your throat.

Oh hell no! HELL NO. *shakes head vigorously*

I was just responding to the part about knocking him for living at home.

ETA: and i'm sorry about the physical abuse you had in your house. That sounds horrible Disrespect is not ok. Neither is hitting your kids like that

5ftnFun

Wow OP, you hung up on your Mother? :noway:

Maybe a topic should be started about you called "HE just doesn't get it!"

CherokeeBabe

I don't even live in the same STATE as my parents and I STILL wouldn't hang up on my mom like that, especially if she was offering to cook food/send food. She'd drive 28 hours to come whoop my butt if I did that. :laugh:

Everytime my parents visit me for a week or so, they take me out to lunch/dinner about a half dozen times. And I go. And I eat. And I offer to pay for it, but they never let me. I make decisions about food in a responsible way, while enjoying time with my family and showing them that I appreciate their kindness. (Newsflash: Parents don't actually HAVE to feed you.)

Buy/make your own food, or learn to have healthy portions of whatever she is kind enough to make for you. It sounds like you have it in your head that she's trying to "sabotage you" or some nonsense like that and that it's all on purpose to make it harder on you. Chances are that it's not, she's your mother, she's trying to take care of you the only ways that she knows how.

scapalbo

I just had a child tell me ugh about dinner. She is 12. I told her she is more than welcome to do the cooking...but she's not allowed to feed us like we're 4. Guess who ate the dinner provided.

TheNewLorrain

She doesn't get it...Ok so you are upset about her putting food in front of you. It is a conditional thing as you say an "Italian" thing. You need to politely put it I am not going to lose weight and get healthy unless you support me that you cannot eat what you used to including the heavy sauces carbs and oils that are classic Italian dishes. They should support you instead of sabotaging. I would be frustrated too. But since you say you can't or won't move out then you need to cook for yourself eat with you're family but don't partake in their high fat and calorie items. Good Luck. It will get better

MightyDomo

Unless they are following a diet they don't always get it. It doesn't click for them why you are doing what you are doing and why you have decided to do it this way. Sometimes sitting down with your food diary and showing them the in and outs with food and also talking to them about the differences between all the macros and why you choose higher protein rather than carb they will begin to understand and will probably not question why you eat the way you want to.

I hope you find a good way to get through to them so they can respect your choices a little bit more.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Ok so I hope im putting this in the right spot but... I get a call from home andthe convo went something like this...

mom- are you going to the gym tonite?
me- yea im not sure how long ill be. Whats for dinner?
mom- Pasta with broccoli
me- Im not having that, The pasta... and the oil. ugh
mom- have a little
me- you cant just have a little and think its ok, its not enough food and too many calories and carbs.
mom- so just take a lot of broccoli
me- ::click::

She just doesnt get it.. im trying to lose weight here and eat my protein and clean food... "having a little" just isnt gonna cut it! I wish there was a way for her to understand but there really isnt. Being from a pretty hardcore italian family we have pasta 2-3 nights a week. Dad doesnt like whole wheat pasta and god forbid I dont eat whats cooked... Its so frustrating that even when I make my own food she still gets upset bc I didnt eat what she cooked. I wish someone would come in and scream at her at wtf shes cooking. Anyone know how I can get it thru her thick head?

sorry about that!
(rant over)

I completely understand. I used to be just like you. Ungrateful for what my mother did for me out of love. Now that she's dead, I'm free to cook my own meals.

But now that my evil mother who fed me all the yummy, nutritious and filling foods (yet somehow I stayed thin with her cooking, magic I know) is dead, I now have this Satan's minion of a sister-in-law cooking for me daily. She just doesn't get it. She feed feeding me carbs and beans and lentils and veggies and meats and cheese and eggs and dairy. I am forced to tell her how much I will have to taste her yummy and nutritious foods and make my own salad to fill the rest of my calories and my belly like a grown up. I don't wanna be a grown up. If I wanted to be a grown up, I wouldn't have turned 29 years old...

You too Taunto? Seriously. Why do people do all of these nice things for me all the time?

5ftnFun

She doesn't get it...Ok so you are upset about her putting food in front of you. It is a conditional thing as you say an "Italian" thing. You need to politely put it I am not going to lose weight and get healthy unless you support me that you cannot eat what you used to including the heavy sauces carbs and oils that are classic Italian dishes. They should support you instead of sabotaging. I would be frustrated too. But since you say you can't or won't move out then you need to cook for yourself eat with you're family but don't partake in their high fat and calorie items. Good Luck. It will get better

He hung up on her, so yeah, he needs to work on the "you need to politely...." part of your comment.