What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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Seeing my cheekbones and collar bones!
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I'm not sure how I feel about this one: I must have graduated to the "Not Fat" designation in stranger's minds. Today I had to show the owner's daughter, who has never met me, what I do at my job. She sat with me for two full hours. Our conversation wandered to recruiting and hiring people, and she mentioned something to the tune of "No company wants to hire fat people." Wow - I wanted to tell her that just 6 months ago I weighed almost 225 lbs. Now I weigh 178 and I carry the weight well so I probably look closer to 160-ish. But she NEVER would have said anything about "fat people" to someone she considered "fat." I think I will always be fat in my mind. And I'm not sure how I will feel when I am at my goal weight and someone who didn't know me when I was fat talks about "fat people." Just a mind-bender today.
I'm so disturbed by that.23 -
"No company wants to hire fat people."
And I'm not sure how I will feel when I am at my goal weight and someone who didn't know me when I was fat talks about "fat people." Just a mind-bender today.
Wow. I find that disturbing.
I mean, discrimination happens, yes, but to say it so blatantly to someone who (I assume) she doesn't know EXTREMELY well is chancy at best and foolish.
Mind bender for sure.20 -
Down 84lb and multiple changes of wardrobe! Now have so many clothes to sell that are hardly worn that I need to have a garage sale or something. I've bagged them all up out of sight out of fright at how much there is!
Just discovered http://threadup.com// You can sell your gently used clothing there and purchase clothing at unbelievably low prices. Thinking of treating myself to a few new things soon (and in a smaller size to boot!).3 -
"No company wants to hire fat people."
And I'm not sure how I will feel when I am at my goal weight and someone who didn't know me when I was fat talks about "fat people." Just a mind-bender today.
Wow. I find that disturbing.
I mean, discrimination happens, yes, but to say it so blatantly to someone who (I assume) she doesn't know EXTREMELY well is chancy at best and foolish.
Mind bender for sure.
Yes - I had never met her before yesterday. She is from a different country but has lived in the US for many years. I know that fat discrimination has happened for a long time but to have someone say it directly to me is just hurting me on so many levels. I'm not sure I will ever forget this, and maybe I shouldn't.24 -
Having your husband hold your hand everywhere you go, because he's so proud to be with you.
He still did this before I started losing weight. It just FEELS different. It feels deserved. To someone like me, who has always had body image issues regardless of my weight, this is huge....35 -
I'm not sure how I feel about this one: I must have graduated to the "Not Fat" designation in stranger's minds. Today I had to show the owner's daughter, who has never met me, what I do at my job. She sat with me for two full hours. Our conversation wandered to recruiting and hiring people, and she mentioned something to the tune of "No company wants to hire fat people." Wow - I wanted to tell her that just 6 months ago I weighed almost 225 lbs. Now I weigh 178 and I carry the weight well so I probably look closer to 160-ish. But she NEVER would have said anything about "fat people" to someone she considered "fat." I think I will always be fat in my mind. And I'm not sure how I will feel when I am at my goal weight and someone who didn't know me when I was fat talks about "fat people." Just a mind-bender today.
The owner's daughter ... Not cool.6 -
I'm cold almost all the time! Rn, I'm watching TV with my kids, who are dressed normally, while I'm wearing yoga pants under my jeans, 2 pairs of socks, and a shirt under my hoodie. I never expected this!10
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How much harder it is to lose 8 lbs at age 40 than it was to lose 30 lbs at age 34. It's literally taken me the same amount of time to do both.21
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You say your brain hasn't caught up, but the same goes the other way. I pass my reflection in the mirror, and I can't believe I am that overweight. I know I am, but my mind doesn't see myself as fat as my reflection confirms I am..32
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I just ordered from http://threadup.com// again two nights ago! This makes my fourth or fifth order - most items have been perfect, only one pair of capri's were more like gaucho pants from the late 1970's! My favorite items have been two different pair of blue jeans...great way to stretch the clothing budget.3 -
Make it a lifestyle change and not a diet!
Nothing works but werk!
You will not always be motivated!
The scale can be discouraging!!
Just because the scale is not changing doesn't mean your body is not changing!!21 -
I have large thighs too and even now in my healthy BMI range they are relatively big. For years I did not wear dresses because of the chaffing in summer. Once I wanted to wear dresses again I also used the biker shorts and even made them myself (from non cling cotton) for years. I still have a pair just in case.NannersBalletLegs wrote: »Sparklething2325 wrote: »wearing a dress and not having to worry about your inner thighs rubbing together and stinging like hell!!! Summer is so much more enjoyable without the extra weight making you extra hot
Omg. ^This! I cannot wait for this to happen for me. I've had to wear biker shorts under all my skirts and dresses for years now to prevent chaffing, and those lightweight summer fabrics tend to cling to anything but legs. It looks ridiculous, and I'm constantly having to pull my skirt down when I walk. My thighs are probably the chubbiest part of me, even at goal weight, so it's gonna be a while before I get there. I'm determined, though!
See last summer, for the first time in decades I could wear my dresses/skirts without shorts or tights or anything Just the cool breeze. It made my summer to be honest.
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How much of a lightweight you become when there's 30% less of you (so far) to soak up the alcohol!22
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Haniejane89 wrote: »How much of a lightweight you become when there's 30% less of you (so far) to soak up the alcohol!
My brother recently called me a cheap date when we went out for our usual burger and beer with friends... I was out after the first; he, his girlfriends and the rest of the gang didn't stop until somewhere past round 6 or 7
Good thing none of us had to drive...14 -
That I would enjoy the hot balmy summery weather for once and not dread the sweaty exhausting effect of lugging extra weight around25
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How personally some people are going to take your weight loss, whether you talk about it or not, and how hard it can be at times not to take their reactions personally, even if you know it's about them and their body image, not you.
How many people suddenly seem to think they're the expert on your ideal weight or size.
How people offering free food samples will sometimes react like you're from Mars if you politely turn down the nibble with a simple, "No, thank you," and no explanation beyond that.11 -
DarkSinestra wrote: »How people offering free food samples will sometimes react like you're from Mars if you politely turn down the nibble with a simple, "No, thank you," and no explanation beyond that.
@DarkSinestra - That one always makes me laugh inside. They always say something like, "But... it's free?" Thanks anyway. I'm good.6 -
Eventually you stop feeling unsatisfied when you tell people "no thanks i already ate" Or "no thanks i have a meal at home waiting for me" Because 1. You truely dont wnat their junk in that moment and/or 2. You have perfected your meals to be JUST how you like and truely only want it.16
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I just ordered from http://threadup.com// again two nights ago! This makes my fourth or fifth order - most items have been perfect, only one pair of capri's were more like gaucho pants from the late 1970's! My favorite items have been two different pair of blue jeans...great way to stretch the clothing budget.
I've seen this site mentioned a couple of times, and was confused because it appears to be a stitching site with nothing about selling clothes. I finally dug deep enough to discover it's actually thredUP.com which is the clothing site.
(And their service isn't available in Canada so no good to me anyway, but in case anyone else is confused I thought I'd mention it!)18 -
dutchandkiwi wrote: »
I have large thighs too and even now in my healthy BMI range they are relatively big. For years I did not wear dresses because of the chaffing in summer. Once I wanted to wear dresses again I also used the biker shorts and even made them myself (from non cling cotton) for years. I still have a pair just in case.NannersBalletLegs wrote: »Sparklething2325 wrote: »wearing a dress and not having to worry about your inner thighs rubbing together and stinging like hell!!! Summer is so much more enjoyable without the extra weight making you extra hot
Omg. ^This! I cannot wait for this to happen for me. I've had to wear biker shorts under all my skirts and dresses for years now to prevent chaffing, and those lightweight summer fabrics tend to cling to anything but legs. It looks ridiculous, and I'm constantly having to pull my skirt down when I walk. My thighs are probably the chubbiest part of me, even at goal weight, so it's gonna be a while before I get there. I'm determined, though!
See last summer, for the first time in decades I could wear my dresses/skirts without shorts or tights or anything Just the cool breeze. It made my summer to be honest.
That's awesome! Can't wait until I'm feelin' the breeze too!
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"No company wants to hire fat people."
And I'm not sure how I will feel when I am at my goal weight and someone who didn't know me when I was fat talks about "fat people." Just a mind-bender today.
Wow. I find that disturbing.
I mean, discrimination happens, yes, but to say it so blatantly to someone who (I assume) she doesn't know EXTREMELY well is chancy at best and foolish.
Mind bender for sure.
A few years ago i was at an interview that was going really well. During the interview she shifted her notepad somehow and i was pretty sure i read "qualified,but obese". My family and boyfriend said i probably saw wrong since i got the job.5 -
That justifying THREE gym memberships plus a trainer seems normal.14
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quiksylver296 wrote: »That justifying THREE gym memberships plus a trainer seems normal.
Or buying your own equipment, even when you have access to a very affordable rec center less than a mile from your home and a free fitness center at work.11 -
Hey -
I NEED that Rec Center membership... they have a POOL. Duh.
and my Gym doesn't. It's just plain common sense.
Exercise on, Ladies!8 -
brightresolve wrote: »How much it annoys me when someone says, "oh, you don't have to watch what you eat!" or, "oh, you don't have to work out!"
I feel like they're disrespecting the discipline and hard work it takes to be healthy ...
This winds me up too... Some people genuinely don't seem able to connect that those behaviours are why you look the way you do!
Yep...1 -
That you will have to learn to deal with stupid and unrealistic expectations from other people...
Like the woman in my office who complains constantly about being overweight (she is a little), and yet HATES exercising and refuses to do anything more taxing than shopping for food (those food bags weigh a ton you know, it build up your muscles you know!)
She then proceeds to munch on the snacks (the high carb, high sugar, salty, chocolaty, highly processed type of snacks) she brought, literally all day! Telling me the entire time, "gee I wish I could just drop weight like you did." It takes a super human effort to keep my mouth firmly shut.
In my experience other people really DON'T want to hear that you stopped eating junk and now exercise (the heart pounding sweat dripping type of exercise... not the casual stroll in the park type of exercise) for 1-2 hours EVERY DAY! That you turn down social events if they conflict with your scheduled time in the gym. That you have not had ANY takeout food in over two years. That its not even a diet anymore, its just the way you eat.
What they want to hear is...
well its easy for me cause I don't have kids like you do,
or
It was just luck
or
I took these pills which were magic (I didn't)
or
I am just genetically blessed (I most certainly am not)
or
I had surgery (I didn't)
or
my doctor cured my polycystic ovaries, or diabetes, or hypothyroidism and the weight just fell off (my doctor told a 300 pound woman who couldn't walk around the block to "just eat less and run"... not helpful)
or
basically they want to hear anything that makes it seem that they are not responsible for their own body and my weight loss was just dumb luck or magic.
THEN THERE ARE THE FOLKS WHO ARE THIN AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN (with or without being physically active)
they say things like
- you don't eat enough
- you exercise too much
- I cant believe you exercise so much and don't have a flat stomach
- your boobs have shrunk (I had a breast reduction after losing 100 pounds)
- awe go on... you can have just one cookie cant you (NO)
- Oh I just play golf once a month and that should be enough exercise for you too (sorry golf isn't going to cut it and in my books its a recreational activity not exercise)
- its such a pity you wont buy a bikini now you've lost weight (see what they said on point three)
Seriously, what no one tells you, is that you will have to learn to hope with both these types of people and their ironic, idiotic comments when you successfully loose weight. Eventually, as you go forward, new people you meet won't even ask about "how did you loose so much weight" because they will not have seen you as a morbidly obese person (or just mildly overweight depending on your starting point... its all relative). Its really hard to smile sweetly and continue to be nice when people make insensitive comments or want to hear that it was just magic. But I just do (smile and be nice).
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I'm finding it's actually getting harder for me to shop for clothes again. I have no idea what sizes will fit and it's a pain to try things on instead of just being able to grab the biggest size in everything. I used to have better luck at thrift stores because I just went to the largest sizes but now I find I have to look through almost every size because depending on how old the item is I could wear a small, medium, or large (thanks vanity sizing!). I also like to "buy ahead" some smaller sizes if I find stuff I like but as I'm getting closer to goal I don't know how much smaller is reasonable.13
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So many people on this thread are having trouble with bra fitting! I had a lot of trouble as well. I've gone from a 40DDD to a 32DD while losing 90 lbs. I'm 10 lbs from my goal so I'm hoping that my bra size isn't going to change much more. My cup size stayed constant for most of that time and only started decreasing recently.
This may have been mentioned already--I haven't gone back and read every post--but try bratabase.com. You'll need to take a lot of measurements, but then the site will suggest sizes as well as specific bras for your body shape. You can also input detailed notes on how your current bras fit, and it will incorporate that into your suggestions.
For those looking for a great sports bra (or regular bra) for larger cup sizes, try Panache. I'm a runner and I wear their underwire sports bras, which are easily convertible between standard or racerback style straps, and they fasten like a regular bra instead of those awful elastic sports bras that you have to contort yourself to get in and out of.
I loved Panache bras. They totally support larger breasts. I went from a 46G cup to a 36H cup... go figure. I've since had a breast reduction and let me tell you.... its totally liberating being a C cup. They don't make the panache bra in my size I don't think
Its a shame because I thought it was a great piece of engineering. -1 -
A few years ago i was at an interview that was going really well. During the interview she shifted her notepad somehow and i was pretty sure i read "qualified,but obese". My family and boyfriend said i probably saw wrong since i got the job.
Unreal.
As my son says...People, they're such *kitten*.
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