What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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I began very obese so I know this won't be everyone's experience...
But the sag & firm as I affectionately call it! When you lose fat in a certain body area, the skin wrinkles & puckers for a week or two (where it looks lumpy but feels "empty"?!... presumably it's filled with water), then it smooths out again while another area goes wrinkley & so we go on!
I'm always happy to see it because when everything "firms up" again it's noticibly smaller & the scale takes a dive! Think it's also known as the "whoosh" effect?
Still, I didn't know my actual skin would be doing acrobatics from early on (began at around 25lb gone) & continue to - know that sounds silly!
I'm very grateful for it's resilience & now I'm 30 odd pounds from goal, I'm not worried about loose skin. It's worked super SUPER hard through yeeeeaaars worth of horror so wherever it ends up I'm very grateful to it!
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I will take the discomfort sitting in a bath, at least I now dare! At my worst I dammed the water at one end, and then found I could not get out. I so get the mirrors, I would shut my eyes rather than look into one!10
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MichaelRow wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Also, feeling insecure about eating healthy when everyone else is eating unhealthy around you.
This is so difficult. I usually eat lunch at home with my family, but once or twice a month I go out with coworkers. They typically get beers and burgers with fries. There I am with my unsweet tea or water and a salad with grilled chicken. I just don't think I can get a 2 patty, 2 cheese, bacon, bbq sauce, potato sticks burger into the calorie budget! Plus I don't feel right without the lunch salad.
I usually have one beer, and skip the bun on the burger and the fries. People think I'm weird for eating a cheeseburger with a knife and fork, but hell with it. I can eat at chili's and still make it fit into my calories.13 -
MichaelRow wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Also, feeling insecure about eating healthy when everyone else is eating unhealthy around you.
This is so difficult. I usually eat lunch at home with my family, but once or twice a month I go out with coworkers. They typically get beers and burgers with fries. There I am with my unsweet tea or water and a salad with grilled chicken. I just don't think I can get a 2 patty, 2 cheese, bacon, bbq sauce, potato sticks burger into the calorie budget! Plus I don't feel right without the lunch salad.
I usually have one beer, and skip the bun on the burger and the fries. People think I'm weird for eating a cheeseburger with a knife and fork, but hell with it. I can eat at chili's and still make it fit into my calories.
Skipping the bun is helpful for diabetes too! I like five guys because they will make any sandwich as a lettuce wrap.10 -
CarvedTones wrote: »This one is not a real positive thing about me, but I find I have less sympathy for people who complain about their weight and claim they just can't lose weight. In very rare circumstances that might be true, but it is usually pretty clear that the problem is lack of commitment and/or discipline.
I get this as well, and I feel bad about it. After all, for *cough*ty years, that was me.
Worse, I find it way easier to be sympathetic to strangers than to my friends. Because my friends have seen me do it, right, so why are they still faffing about with fad diets and stuff?!
But it’s not that simple, and I KNOW that, so I bite my lip and try to say kind and encouraging things instead of what I’m actually thinking.
The really petty part is how I feel about those of my friends who have body image issues and are only slightly overweight. I mean, I was never terribly impressed by their complaining about how fat they were while I weighed twice what they did. Now several of them are clearly really struggling with discovering they weigh more than I do these days. And I’m feeling... smug.
I am a horrible person.
...but a horrible person in really cute clothes
I don't think you are horrible, I think you are honest! I'm still the friend that needs to lose but I can see me being very smug and saying just do it. I already don't have any use for people using the "fad" diets.7 -
Weirdest thing happened today. Was out shopping with my daughter, got thristy and wanted an Arizona Ices Tea Zero. So I go looking for them, and had to search...my daughter found it and I asked her if was the Zero kind. I don't know if I was meant to hear the comment, but I over heard two women make a comment: "like she needs the zero calorie one" followed by "thin privilege, must be nice".
I didn't say anything as I was with my daughter, but I was shocked a bit to hear insults regarding my drink choices now that I'm no longer obese. I'm in a size 8 (US), so not exactly emaciated looking.
I have a young girl in my life that is very thin, I have had to hold her while she's in tears because of people saying cruel things to her in restaurants. I can't imagine how anyone thinks it's ok to comment on anyone's size period.19 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Weirdest thing happened today. Was out shopping with my daughter, got thristy and wanted an Arizona Ices Tea Zero. So I go looking for them, and had to search...my daughter found it and I asked her if was the Zero kind. I don't know if I was meant to hear the comment, but I over heard two women make a comment: "like she needs the zero calorie one" followed by "thin privilege, must be nice".
I didn't say anything as I was with my daughter, but I was shocked a bit to hear insults regarding my drink choices now that I'm no longer obese. I'm in a size 8 (US), so not exactly emaciated looking.
I have a young girl in my life that is very thin, I have had to hold her while she's in tears because of people saying cruel things to her in restaurants. I can't imagine how anyone thinks it's ok to comment on anyone's size period.
Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes. People seriously need to rewatch Bambi and heed the advise of Thumper's father..."If you ain't got nothin' nice to say, don't say nothin' at all".
It still sucks though that people will make nasty comments and judgements about people for thier size, regardless of what that size happens to be.6 -
cakegoddess1 wrote: »Being ACTUALLY handicapped, I get really annoyed when large girls take the handicapped stall. It's NOT for you...it's for us who really need it. Please...a little respect.
With all due respect, as the daughter and niece of longtime wheelchair bound women (advanced MS), you are incorrect in your statement. The only handicapped-related facility that is exclusively for handicapped users (and is thus protected by law) is handicapped parking. Ramps, toilets, elevators, support bars, and so on are available for use by anybody, including the able bodied. They are made available because some handicapped people are not physically able to use the regular facilities or entrances, stairs, etc., but they are not reserved for the exclusive use of disabled people. If the handicap bathroom stall is the only one available, I will use it with no qualms or guilt whatsoever, and I know that my mother and aunt would not begrudge that in the slightest. Now, if there is a disabled lady waiting for a stall, I would certainly leave the handicap stall open for her, but only in the same way as I would encourage an elderly lady to go ahead of me in line. It's common courtesy, not entitlement. I'm sorry, but as one who lives closely with disabled people, I find your attitude disappointing.
I think you may have misunderstood her meaning. There is a marked difference between using the only available stall - that happens to be the handicapped stall, and using the handicapped stall because it's more comfortable than the other 10 available stalls. I am also disabled and more often than I can count on two hands, I've had to wait for an able bodied person to finish using the handicap shower when every other shower was empty. It's not entitlement. It's just frustration at having to wait unnecessarily. I think @cakegoddess1 was thinking about the many times a person has several options and still chooses the handicapped stall for comfort.
With that said, I don't get upset when very large women use the handicapped stall. I actually see it as a disability of sorts. That is, if your hips can touch either side of a bathroom stall, then it is completely impractical to use it. So in that case, use of the handicapped stall is a necessity.11 -
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I could make a long list, lol, and some are the same as others have mention. First and foremost is maintaining the weight loss after you get to your goal or have lost the majority of your weight. I keep losing and gaining with every time being said this is the last time. It is hard for me to maintain the weight loss, even though I know it is unhealthy to take off and put on.
Support from family is not always positive
Adjust to your surroundings with food rather than purchase items you don't really like or diet food (I have a husband who does not need to loss weight, so we purchase all regular foods).
Don't be so rough on yourself, I tend to be my own worst critic especially when having a bad day
Adjusting to your own body after weight loss
Lastly, all the positives of clothes fitting, being able to move easier, pains gone from all the weight, great reports from the doctor with your transformation.
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Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
I ironed my shirt this morning. I have not ironed in over 15 years. If it is put on a hanger to dry it doesn't need ironing. I do have one workshirt thought that needs ironing to flatten around the buttons. I rarely wear it because I can't be bothered.
Yesterday I was fed up of always wearing the same work top as it is getting really really baggy now (yay) and wanted to show my arms off a bit.
Ironed top, wore top - have had so many comments about it lol
But I am also wondering about make up recently - have NEVER worn any and have had my eyelashes dyed twice in my life for end of school (prom) and for a wedding I think.
Now I find myself thinking that my face is such a different shape, maybe I could work on hiding the circles under my eyes a bit or maybe using some eye/lip makeup.
I don't know who I am anymore!!
(At least I still have absolutely no desire to wear a skirt! I think that may cause people to have a heart attack!)44 -
I don't know who I am anymore!!
(At least I still have absolutely no desire to wear a skirt! I think that may cause people to have a heart attack!)
@beerfoamy yet
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I don't know who I am anymore!!
(At least I still have absolutely no desire to wear a skirt! I think that may cause people to have a heart attack!)
@beerfoamy yet
nah, I still hate skirts/dresses with a fiery passion! Plus they NEVER have pockets (my mates rant quite a lot about this) 2 -
The reality is that losing weight and maintaining the loss long-term are two very different issues. You have to keep monitoring your weight, fitness, and eating and adjust your strategies as you go along. This is the new normal if you want to stay healthy and fit.28
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I don't know who I am anymore!!
(At least I still have absolutely no desire to wear a skirt! I think that may cause people to have a heart attack!)
@beerfoamy yet
nah, I still hate skirts/dresses with a fiery passion! Plus they NEVER have pockets (my mates rant quite a lot about this)
You just haven't found the right skirts and dresses! I have several with great pockets (more sensible than my pants pockets, usually!).8 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I don't know who I am anymore!!
(At least I still have absolutely no desire to wear a skirt! I think that may cause people to have a heart attack!)
@beerfoamy yet
nah, I still hate skirts/dresses with a fiery passion! Plus they NEVER have pockets (my mates rant quite a lot about this)
Geeky dresses with pockets
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Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
Oh my God do I agree! I have bought so many clothes lately! I have trouble deciding what to wear every day. I used to just throw on any golf shirt that was clean and go!
Now I take about a half hour to get dressed because I keep changing my mind with all these choices.
And I wore a skirt 2 times in the last 2 weeks. My coworkers were shocked cuz I am a total tomboy.
I am so glad I got off my fat as$ and lost this weight. It's made me so happy and confident.32 -
That it's just as much a psychological battle as it is physical. Moreso, really. Can't lose the weight until you deal with those issues.21
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You just haven't found the right skirts and dresses! I have several with great pockets (more sensible than my pants pockets, usually!).
hehe, nope, still nothing.
Prefer my cargo shorts
I am still quick to decide as I am still in the 'don't want to buy too much as I am still losing/toning/recomping' phase.GOT_Obsessed wrote: »Now I take about a half hour to get dressed because I keep changing my mind with all these choices.
I think I have:
x3 trousers/jeans
x1 shorts
x3 tshirts
x1 shirt for over tshirts
x1 hoodie
haha as I was typing I was wondering what fills all my wardrobe/drawers if that was all the clothing.........gym gear! so much gym gear! haha That's something else noone told me about!
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Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
Interesting. I haven't experienced this, in the sense of wanting to change how I look. I do care to buy T-shirts I like and think look good on me, and I enjoy them just as much as I did at my highest weight. Makeup and hair are an entirely foreign concept to me, and pockets or not, dresses and skirts are out of the question. Wonder if any of this will change once I'm at goal weight, but I very highly doubt it since I've already lost a lot and my style preferences haven't changed one bit. I just like my comfortable style.7 -
The GOOD -
I'll see a picture and may not even recognize myself. When I do sometimes I'll think damn...I look GOOD
I can fit in normal chairs/booths/etc and not worry about where I'm sitting anymore
I sleep better
I have more energy and less ailments
The BAD -
If you ever eat something unhealthy or too much food, people close to you may feel inclined to make comments about how you will gain your lost weight back, or remind you that you lost weight and shouldn't be eating that
Loose skin - I still look super fat in areas that I'm not super fat in
That's all for the bad. It's almost entirely good.
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Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
I find that I've definitely started caring more about my appearance. It's not so much about clothing though. I'm still losing, so I don't want to blow my budget on new clothes that won't fit in a few months, but I find that I care more about other aspects of my health. My skincare routine has gotten measurably more complex. I started taking vitamins. I floss more. Lots of little things that help me look as healthy as I feel now!21 -
emcclure013 wrote: »Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
I find that I've definitely started caring more about my appearance. It's not so much about clothing though. I'm still losing, so I don't want to blow my budget on new clothes that won't fit in a few months, but I find that I care more about other aspects of my health. My skincare routine has gotten measurably more complex. I started taking vitamins. I floss more. Lots of little things that help me look as healthy as I feel now!
I think for me, there are a lot of things I never used to do because - in terms of both health and appearance - they felt kind of like rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.
Now that I am no longer Titanic, they’re suddenly worth doing.49 -
I think for me, there are a lot of things I never used to do because - in terms of both health and appearance - they felt kind of like rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.
Now that I am no longer Titanic, they’re suddenly worth doing.
this cracked me up!! totally get it - fantastic imagery!!
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You will have a ton more laundry.
Even your shoes and under clothing will be too big
People want to know how you did it, but don't want to do what it took themselves.
You learn to change into gym clothes in the oddest places
Some people will tell you to quit losing weight
Anything below 70 is now cold, hahaha
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quiksylver296 wrote: »That sometimes I get a little vain. I realize that I now wear clothes to show off my butt, back, and shoulders instead of wearing clothes to hide myself.
My wardrobe has also gotten a lot more colorful instead of my nearly all black attire that was my staple when I was obese.
Yes! I want my shoulders showing at all times!
I like my medium shirts fitted. I sometimes got XL before because while L fit, they sometimes showed my shape too clearly. Now I like it to be clear how I am shaped9 -
Having to re-tie the gym shorts a bit tighter or they fall down. Embarrassing but it's a feel-good moment too.
Then there's the search for the leather punch when the belt runs out of holes... or having to buy a new one. Definitely feel-good!
And shirts, Hawaiian & Guayaberas, cover a lot of past sins but it's nice to fit the next smaller size.
Wasn't ready for my base calorie rate to creep down with the pounds. That was frustrating more than the implied compliment but I expect it will help keep me losing those pounds. :Arrrrgh!:
Treating the whole process like recovery helps too - from all the things that drive me to eat in the first place.15 -
I think for me, there are a lot of things I never used to do because - in terms of both health and appearance - they felt kind of like rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.
Now that I am no longer Titanic, they’re suddenly worth doing.
this cracked me up!! totally get it - fantastic imagery!!
Me too!!!1 -
1. How freaking weird, yet refreshing it feels when people start calling you things like "little lady" and "skinny mini." Knowing darn well you are still pretty big and people who don't know you are probably confused as to why people are calling you that. LOL
2. How active you become. Before I started, I would get home from work exhausted, set down on the couch/bed and watch tv/nap/eat until bedtime. Now I'm getting off work, racing home, pressure washing the house, staining the deck, taking the kids for a walk or walking over to the play ground to play or shoot hoops! I've also been really into fixing up my house too, new curtains, possibly some new paint? Who knows. I feel like I feel so good inside that I want my home to reflect that. 40 -
GOT_Obsessed wrote: »Noone told me I would start caring what I look like!!
Oh my God do I agree! I have bought so many clothes lately! I have trouble deciding what to wear every day. I used to just throw on any golf shirt that was clean and go!
Now I take about a half hour to get dressed because I keep changing my mind with all these choices.
And I wore a skirt 2 times in the last 2 weeks. My coworkers were shocked cuz I am a total tomboy.
I am so glad I got off my fat as$ and lost this weight. It's made me so happy and confident.
I'm the same, I just bought a cute little dress yesterday. I never wore dresses or even skirts when I was fat. In fact I had to go emergency shopping for my own father's funeral because I only owned jeans. Now I wear dresses or skirts when I'm not wearing workout clothes.
I also wear makeup and do my fingernails now.11
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