Intimidated at the gym.
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- men are at the gym to work - yes agree but i think we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that they like to have a looky loo now and then, too. that's not doing men a disservice, it's being realistic.
I just figured I'd come by and say I THANK GOD that women would NEVER do such a thing. NEVER. Ever.0 -
- men are at the gym to work - yes agree but i think we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that they like to have a looky loo now and then, too. that's not doing men a disservice, it's being realistic.
I just figured I'd come by and say I THANK GOD that women would NEVER do such a thing. NEVER. Ever.
who said otherwise? but there are just huge differences in the way women and men experience being looked at.0 -
however - this is a derail! calling it now.0
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Hark? that sound?- men are at the gym to work - yes agree but i think we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that they like to have a looky loo now and then, too. that's not doing men a disservice, it's being realistic.
I just figured I'd come by and say I THANK GOD that women would NEVER do such a thing. NEVER. Ever.
who said otherwise? but there are just huge differences in the way women and men experience being looked at.
A small violin playing a small dirge.
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Hark? that sound?- men are at the gym to work - yes agree but i think we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that they like to have a looky loo now and then, too. that's not doing men a disservice, it's being realistic.
I just figured I'd come by and say I THANK GOD that women would NEVER do such a thing. NEVER. Ever.
who said otherwise? but there are just huge differences in the way women and men experience being looked at.
A small violin playing a small dirge.
I believe the word you are looking for is "hypocrisy".0 -
or ya know... was the greatest offender... lolWheelhouse15 wrote: »
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Put listen to some music that gives you confidece. I'm in the same predicament as you. A couple songs to get you started:
Beyonce - ring the alarm
christina aguilara - fighter0 -
Wheelhouse15 wrote: »
No I know, I"m blaming myself for the derail. You're right. I just don't have it in me to have a big talk about gender. If you all want to carry on, carry on
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Wheelhouse15 wrote: »
No I know, I"m blaming myself for the derail. You're right. I just don't have it in me to have a big talk about gender. If you all want to carry on, carry on
Probably smart, considering the misandry in your post that I called out. 0 -
Wheelhouse15 wrote: »
No I know, I"m blaming myself for the derail. You're right. I just don't have it in me to have a big talk about gender. If you all want to carry on, carry on
Probably smart, considering the misandry in your post that I called out.
No misandry there, though, that's just what happens. Women adn men both look. But women are set up by society to be the focus of the gaze most of the time. That's about as deep as I want to go into it. Not because I want to stonewall discussion, but because today was DST day and I'm on 2 hours of sleep.
although i would say that men - not all of course! - might feel more at home in a weight room than most women might. weight lifting's only been a mainstream thing for women for what, 10-15 years, max? i think there are still some cultural shifts happening. but that is definitely a derail bc the OP is just talking about going to the gym, not the weight room specifically.0 -
Tomato, clamato. Just calling it like it was written. It won't pay me no nevermind.0
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I try to go with a friend. Guys are less likely to make comments or try to get your attention if you're busy chatting with a pal. It's also easier to ignore the other people in the gym. If you don't have someone to go with, then make sure you have headphones.0
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Just go to the gym. Fake confidence until it becomes more natural. Start lifting again, feel awesome. In a month wonder why you were nervous 0
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Just know that most of the dudes are pouring it on and trying to look intimidating as possible to try and impress you more than likely. Just laugh it off in your mind and continue on. Remember they're more afraid of you than you are of them lol
really- most of the guys in my gym are you know... there to lift. so they lift.
True, but you honestly don't think they give it a bit extra when a good looking girl is around? That's why I prefer to go to a gym, more people around makes you push just a bit harder than if you were at home.
....aside from that I was attempting to help her out with her intimidation issues at the gym!
I realize that- but that should be from within. Veiled compliments about guys reacting to a womans prescence insults men- robs them of their hard work- and it kind of puts a bad onus on the woman.
it's just dangerous territory.
And honestly- I don't give a rats a22 what they do- I know *most* of guys at my gym don't'- they train hard. They train hard if I'm there or not there. Yeah we have days where we get into mini comps- or there is max out monday- and sure we go ham- but EVERYONE is going ham in front of everyone. Not just because some woman walks in.
Training is training. you either no how to work hard or you don't. Everyone else can see it too they know if you're working or posing.
*Sigh* I think your missing the point but now were just highjacking this post. Last time I checked this was "intimidated at the gym" on myfitnesspal. If you want to talk about going berserker, balls out , hardcore at the gym let's take this over to the t nation forum and we can do that!
not really.
I thought I read you loud and clear- I just deeply disagree with you.
I think my basic premise is that people show up at the gym to work.
You're is essentially debasing men and objectifying women and that she should use that to empower her self- much when people suggest to women that cat calling is empowering. She needs to suck it up and realize people don't care about her that much and just go do the work- it's not about other people.
I agree with maybe 70% of what you're saying.
- women should not see cat-calling or leering as an empowering thing - agree
- anyone going to the gym should ignore others and focus on their goals - agree
- men are at the gym to work - yes agree but i think we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that they like to have a looky loo now and then, too. that's not doing men a disservice, it's being realistic.
I would agree- I'm not saying people don't look.
It's people watching- there are a lot of people in the same space- but we - to be fair were not talking about people watching. Because I'm not stupid- I know people watch. I know people watch when we work- or when I girl is doing something extra- or even if I guy is doing something extra. I know my friends at the gym resting between sets watch me squat- and then we talk about form. even if I didn't ask them to watch- and I note that they were watching- I'll ask. It's what you do. It's fine.
That wasn't actually what we were talking about- it was the "oh she's looking at me I have to work harder" idea.
Which - yeah I'm not stupid- I know it happens- but that's not the typical serious lifter- it's the punk kid who is there with his friends trying to get a girlfriend- which didn't seem to be the type of population the OP indicated.
Big scary dudes lifting lots of heavy weights- sounds less like curl bros and more like lifters.
And yes- they are looking.
looking=/= oh she's looking let me work harder.0 -
I'm usually the only woman in the weight room when I go to the gym. Yes, the men notice.
Recently, a couple of the "regulars" (men) were talking to my husband one morning (before I got there) telling him that "his wife is awesome!" They were too intimidated to approach me and tell me this. My secret? *kitten* face and loud music.0 -
I have a tendency to space out on parts of people if I'm doing warm-up cardio
Like I'll be on an elliptical with my music on and all of a sudden realise I'm focusing on the back and shoulder muscles of the guy doing pull-ups in front of me
I'm old 'n' married... I c'n get away with it and if I can't I don't care
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I think most people at the gym just want to workout and mind their own business, thats how I am, unless I am on the treadmill then I creep on people because I am so freaking bored I have to....
Either way if you paid your memebership (or are a student so get to use your schools gym), you have just as much right to be there as they do, I find most guys can appreciate a woman who feels confident enough to go hit the weight room if they are the only girl there0 -
It's easier to stay fit than to start. That said, do something that will give you some quick results and rebuild your confidence. I would start with some group fitness classes. After a few weeks you will feel better about yourself, be more comfortable coming to the gym and familiar with the facilities again and you'll be able to expand your routine.0
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