Discouraged by MFP

Therealobi1

hollydubs85 wrote: »

krisalexine wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.

Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :

There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.

rabbitjb wrote: »

I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.

Not everyone has enough people in real life.

rabbitjb wrote: »

It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US

*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:

I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.

Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.

But seriously, I don't know how some people manage in real life.

In situations like these, it's best to know your audience before addressing them. If the same OP was said in a weight watcher's meeting, I'm sure they'd receive nothing but encouragement and figurative hand-holding. But on an internet forum, even one as tame as MFP, you're going to get responses you won't like. It pays to lurk a little to know what you're getting into before you post.

but there are so many people who dont manage real life well. lots of depressed people. lots of people in mental health institutions. Some people can freak out for the little things that others will just deal with.

Notreadytoquit

I have the opposite reaction. If I get the red letters telling me to eat more ... well hurray. I go downstairs and make myself a delicious snack. I do not consider the feedback judgemental when I log my diary for the day. It's a nutrition lesson and a wake up call - good or bad.

Some friendly advice ... if you're sensitive, just OBSERVE the forums for a while. Some people might want to hurt your feelings on purpose. There are over 1,000 member blogs with a world of fitness information to explore under the blog tab while in community, at least on the website. You can make friends and find / give support, join one of the group's that might interest you, take this opportunity to research the foods you eat ... a lot available to you.

Good luck with your fitness journey.

Therealobi1

OP hopefully in a few days time you will laugh at this post as you get on with the tool. Its only making recommendations, just ignore them as long as you are staying safe. I just tell it to zap off when its telling me that I am over. Too late app I have eaten the cake. Dont give up as you will be the one to lose out.

HeySwoleSister

2015igotya wrote: »

Please read this with the mindset that I only have good intentions in posting this. I am afraid you will be offended, but I feel it is worth the risk for potentially helping you greatly.

As a nurse, I'm a little worried for you. If that's enough to throw you into this much upset, I might consider going to your primary care physician to talking to them about options for regulating your emotions/anxiety, because this isn't a proportional reaction. If you find yourself having trouble dealing with normal every day stressors fairly often, getting some help could literally change your life in a positive way. And to be completely open, I am speaking from experience. I take an anti depressant daily and my husband takes anti anxiety medications... In both cases they have helped immensely! Getting help for anxiety and/or mood disorders is life changing.

Good luck, friend!

Well said.

And, if OP (or any of us) is getting those red letters, we aren't just coming in under goal, we are coming in the caloric level that is generally safe for us. IF folks get it regularly, but manage their nutrition on the non-fast days to account for it. Regular dieters who just default to "if reduced calories is good, even MORE reduced must be better!" are NOT achieving their goals faster -- they are setting themselves up for long term failure (with binges and discouragement or finish-line thinking that leads to rebounding weight) or serious health concerns, including vitamin deficiencies and muscle and bone mass loss.

It's not "doing well" to eat so little you get the warnings consistently. Hurrying your weight loss is a mistake. Your MFP target calories are an amount at which you will lose weight safely. If you hit the target, even if you go slightly over, you will still be in a deficit and lose weight. Going so far under that you get a warning is not an achievement. We all do it sometimes, but it's best we see the warning as a reminder that our bodies need more than we fed it today.

mmitri12

I'm just re-starting out and do come just under most days. Don't worry about it too much. Use it as a tool for success. Feeling bad about eating under your calorie count is a type of self-defeating behavior. Find healthy recipes that will keep you close to that and don't be afraid to have the occasional treat. When I was in Weight Watchers several years ago, my group leader told us of a study that had been done that showed that people who allow themselves the occasional treat while trying to loose weight had an easier time then those who didn't. Plus, by adding in exercise, you allow for those treats.

MindySaysWhaaat

I got this message yesterday. I went and ate an ice cream sandwich. Yay no more message!

estherjoy66

My thinking is: just log it and don't worry, especially at the beginning. I'm a month in, and my whole thing is -- it's all about building healthy habits and being aware of how much I'm eating. So sometimes it's high. Sometimes it's low. But MFP gives you a great tool to just keep sticking with it and being aware of what you're putting into your body. Aware so you can move forward again and again, one small step each day. You can do this!