"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

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  • BeFitBri2
    BeFitBri2 Posts: 35 Member
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    Someone told me I was too skinny last night. I'm 5'0" at 104 lbs and average body fat percentage. Too skinny? I think not. Healthy? For sure.
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
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    People have been telling me for the past 7 months "your going to waist away to nothing ", I am 5'8" and I weigh 180lbs. I think people have lost the visual perception of whats healthy and whats not healthy.
  • starfish235
    starfish235 Posts: 129 Member
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    Again this thread caught my eye. Yes people don't know what a healthy weight is. At my age of nearly 59 I still have people making remarks. I have never sat on my laurels when it came to staying a healthy weight. I don't think like this in regard to my house keeping. This keeping on top of you weight is a personality issue. I know because it's really easy to keep my weight down.
  • SingingSingleTracker
    SingingSingleTracker Posts: 1,866 Member
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    I've heard it all over the past 50 years! Being tall and slim - it doesn't matter if I have gained weight, lost weight, or maintained weight - when I see people I haven't seen in a long time (weeks, months, years) 9 times out of 10, the comment is "Have you lost weight? You're so skinny!"

    Nice blog post from Sara Pittman here...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-pittman/skinny-shaming-at-any-age_b_8241966.html

    Sara shares typical things she hears all the time...

    "So what if you don't have boobs or an *kitten*, at least you're skinny."

    "Eat a fxxking cheeseburger."

    "Get your thyroid checked."

    "Lucky."

    "Too skinny."

    "Skinny *kitten*."

    "Not attractive."

    "No cushion. No good."

    "You must never eat."

    "You have it easy."

    "You look sick."

    I get the cheeseburger line all the time at bike races from the hecklers - usually in good fun as cyclists who race are notorious for being slim due to the power/weight ratio.

    22942251633_d2ae3cd696_z.jpg

  • pjoenix
    pjoenix Posts: 25 Member
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    I'm ranging around 118-120 right now with a good 10 pounds or so to my goal at 5'1'', and hear the same often.

    My grandmother likes to comment how "shocked" she is when I make a plate that I'm "actually eating". I typically eat between 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on however hungry I'm feeling, with occasions a few times a month where I splurge and wind up between 2500-3000 calories. I certainly haven't been "not eating".

    I've been told dozens of times by other family members that I shouldn't lose any more, that I'm too small. This is at a bmi of 22.5 and a totally average body fat percentage.

    It has made me stop and evaluate, but I think this is a good thing too. It can sometimes be easy to lose perspective when nearing a goal, but all that evaluation told me was I'm on the right track but still have room for improvement.
  • lps1dragonfly
    lps1dragonfly Posts: 111 Member
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    this is basically me too. 5'1" and about 126 today. my BMI is around 23 but not higher than 23.5. I can still lose a bit and still be in healthy weight range. I have been to a PA, NP and OBGYN in the past 6mo and they cheer me that I have lost and tell me i'm doing well so I really try not to listen to those that are bashing.

    I just graphed and see that I lost 10# in a year. When I told the fam last night they were all like "whoa! 10#!!" "your gotta stop" "no wonder you feel boney when I hug you" I told them that the dr's are not upset so they shouldn't be either and that I'm healthier and feel lots better. That got the kids to hush but I think the man is still on the fence. He's been a great supporter for the most part but I've noticed that I can't give him numbers or it freaks him out hehe
    pjoenix wrote: »
    I'm ranging around 118-120 right now with a good 10 pounds or so to my goal at 5'1'', and hear the same often.

    My grandmother likes to comment how "shocked" she is when I make a plate that I'm "actually eating". I typically eat between 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on however hungry I'm feeling, with occasions a few times a month where I splurge and wind up between 2500-3000 calories. I certainly haven't been "not eating".

    I've been told dozens of times by other family members that I shouldn't lose any more, that I'm too small. This is at a bmi of 22.5 and a totally average body fat percentage.

    It has made me stop and evaluate, but I think this is a good thing too. It can sometimes be easy to lose perspective when nearing a goal, but all that evaluation told me was I'm on the right track but still have room for improvement.

  • Billy60s
    Billy60s Posts: 1,567 Member
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    I continually get told I'm too thin by family. I am just ignoring them. I weigh in between 77 & 78 kg now I was 105kg and had to lose the weight for health reasons.
  • foodlover1995
    foodlover1995 Posts: 2 Member
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    I've been getting these comments too lately from everyone even neighbours are saying i need to put on some weight eat more meat, vegetables, protein ... been building up my muscles its funny cause years ago no one would've said this too me and now they're generally concerned i'm losing abit much just bugs me about society when you're at a healthy bmi you've always wanted o:)
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
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    Absolutely Foodlover, i hear those comments all the time. The other day at work i sneezed a couple of times and the person that heared me said,"see your immune system is just shot, you not eating enough mike, your going to in up in ICU if your not carful." My response was ooo...its just dust, which it was cause i am a janitor by trade, so i stir up lots of dust.lol lol
  • kvansteen
    kvansteen Posts: 82 Member
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    I'm still losing but my mother in law asked the other day if the reason I was losing was because I was sick. When I said no she replied quickly with oh ok well you look good. Sigh...
  • mpat81
    mpat81 Posts: 350 Member
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    When I first got these types of comments I thought it was flattering. No one had ever called me "skinny" in my life! Now I am at goal weight and I find it extremely annoying. Just yesterday, my boss checked in with me that I'm ok and not planning to lose any more weight because "people" have been worried about me. The word bony was used. Ugh... 5'6 and 150 lbs is definitely not too skinny. Funny no one was concerned when I was 50 lbs overweight. Still looking for that perfect response but so far I have just said "Thanks for noticing, I feel fantastic!" with a big fake smile plastered on. Fortunately, I also have a lot of people in my life who have the good sense to congratulate me on my hardwork and tell me I look great. I'll just focus on them.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    A lot of doctors aren't used to people my age having low body fat, and I get some strange comments. One doctor assumed that I work out too much and that was why my knee hurt; actually, I had broken a bone. Another one figured I have an eating disorder; I'm really not that thin, just 50 years old and not overweight.
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
    edited January 2016
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    lithezebra wrote: »
    A lot of doctors aren't used to people my age having low body fat, and I get some strange comments. One doctor assumed that I work out too much and that was why my knee hurt; actually, I had broken a bone. Another one figured I have an eating disorder; I'm really not that thin, just 50 years old and not overweight.
    Off topic, but I hope I look as lovely as you do when I get to 50. :)


  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    @neldabg thanks!
  • star1407
    star1407 Posts: 588 Member
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    It's interesting reading through this thread. I actually am guilty of saying to my sister in law " you're not going to lose any more are you?" She was saying she still had half a stone more to lose but I was really worried as she looked so gaunt and drained. Her figure looked lovely, but it's the face that can often show when it might be time to stop

    I'm sure there are people who have jealousy or insecurities too, and their formerly fat friend being slim can make them realise their own failings. I think it boils down to who it is making the comment and what their motivation is for commenting. It could just be someone who cares, or it could be a total arsehole
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,081 Member
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    star1407 wrote: »
    It's interesting reading through this thread. I actually am guilty of saying to my sister in law " you're not going to lose any more are you?" She was saying she still had half a stone more to lose but I was really worried as she looked so gaunt and drained. Her figure looked lovely, but it's the face that can often show when it might be time to stop

    Welllll, I dunno. I think it's a factor that we all lose weight differently, i.e., from different parts of the body at different rates, and with different amounts of loose skin & such as a result.

    I lost weight from my face and upper body first; those got somewhat gaunt (face, with some loose skin) or thin looking (upper body, with ribs visible), but there were (are) still some pretty substantial fat deposits on my hips/thighs/abdomen where others don't see them under clothes (and that's where I'm losing now). It's a personal preference, but I'm not going to stop when my *face* looks best; I'm going to stop when I feel like I've achieved the healthy overall weight I want. (P.S. My doctor has endorsed my weight loss plans.)

    If one is worried about a close friend, I think it might be a better plan to have a conversation about their progress and how they're thinking about it, if that's possible - friendly & interested, not confrontational - and get a feel for whether their attitudes about weight and eating are healthy, or distorted.

    Appearance, especially publicly-visible portions thereof, may be a poor guide, especially when we're used to seeing the person look a certain way.
  • grinning_chick
    grinning_chick Posts: 765 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Never in my life have I ever been told I was too thin. Not even when I was 5'7" and a skeletal 118 lbs with pants I could pull of still zipped and buttoned at the end of spending a year in the dorms without a dorm fridge and a cafeteria which always seemed to be closed when I was awake and not in class. And the nicotine winged monkey riding my back.

    As for Sara Pittman's article link? Not what I think when I think "too skinny". She looks perfectly smack dab in the middle of average "healthy" BMI to me. *shrug* If a lot of people think that's "too skinny", there's a lot of people walking around with warped body perceptions.
  • reachingunder120
    reachingunder120 Posts: 21 Member
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    I'm good friends with a married couple.

    Right after I first started visibly showing my weight loss I was having dinner at their house and the husband asked me if I thought his wife looked too big.

    Like he was saying that his wife is shorter than me and bigger than me and she looks great so why would I want to lose weight?

    That whole conversation stumped the hell out of me.

    His wife is bigger than I was when I started to lose weight. When he said that I was thinking that I wouldn't want to weigh her weight but obviously I wasn't about to answer that question. That was one minefeild I was not about to walk into. Like I'm not gonna discuss your wife/one of my best friends weight. That's just strange and creepy.
  • schibsted750
    schibsted750 Posts: 355 Member
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    yeah, since losing fifty pounds I have people say that to me all the time. but my BMI is on the upper range of "normal" and it's staying there; people just think that overweight is normal because so many people are overweight

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