"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?
Options
Replies
-
cwolfman13 wrote: »Actually, some people are too skinny and should stop losing weight...a lot depends on build and body structure. Unfortunately, people don't really understand BMI to well and a lot of people just look at the range and say, "but hey...that's healthy...I'm at the low end of the range." When in reality, that weight is inappropriate for their actual structure.
I for one would look like skeletor at the low end of a "healthy" BMI...and I would have to torch quite a bit of muscle to get there as well.
I take comments like, "hey...you look great, you don't need to lose anymore." as the compliments they are...people don't need to know that I'm only trying to lose a bit of fat to make a couple abs pop.
If someone actually was like, "dude...you're getting too "skinny"...that would definitely give me some pause and I'd probably want to at least do an assessment of things. A lot of people have body dysphoria and may be "too skinny", but they don't know it because they don't see their body's correctly.
0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Actually, some people are too skinny and should stop losing weight...a lot depends on build and body structure. Unfortunately, people don't really understand BMI to well and a lot of people just look at the range and say, "but hey...that's healthy...I'm at the low end of the range." When in reality, that weight is inappropriate for their actual structure.
I for one would look like skeletor at the low end of a "healthy" BMI...and I would have to torch quite a bit of muscle to get there as well.
I take comments like, "hey...you look great, you don't need to lose anymore." as the compliments they are...people don't need to know that I'm only trying to lose a bit of fat to make a couple abs pop.
If someone actually was like, "dude...you're getting too "skinny"...that would definitely give me some pause and I'd probably want to at least do an assessment of things. A lot of people have body dysphoria and may be "too skinny", but they don't know it because they don't see their body's correctly.
I think it's incredibly rude to comment on someone's appearance in a negative way no matter what your misguided intentions are. Some of examples I have read in this thread, really shock me. I, too, have been told I'm too skinny, and many times it made me pause with my goals. Not cool at all,0 -
"I am a couple of pounds under the middle of the WHO-recommended weight range for my height. They likely have a doctor or two on staff who might have researched the topic."
After losing 60 lbs., 1/2 hr exercise and 2 miles` walk daily, I have more energy than I've had in years. Sheesh. They mean well, but...sheesh.0 -
I haven't ever posted before, but appreciate the support that this forum offers and want to get in on it! Lately, I've been in need of support from those who understand the struggles of weight loss and maintenance.
Since the fall of 2013, I went from 180lbs to 125lbs (female, 5'6") and have been maintaining at 125 (+/- 2lbs) for the past 6 months. As time goes on, I have gotten more and more serious about exercise and specifically running. I really enjoy seeing where my body can take me and it's motivating to break my personal records and times while running.
In the process, my body fat percentage has dropped to around 18% and while I am happy with the way I look, a lot of people around me keep making comments like "you're too skinny" or "you had better not lose any more weight". It's not just 1 or 2 people either -- it's many of those I am close to and even family members. It really makes me second guess myself and question whether I have some kind of body dysmorphia or eating disorder even though I am within the healthy range for BMI and I eat between 1800-2300 calories/day (depending on how much I work out).
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?
We are so similar. I am 5'6'' as well. I started at 181lbs and now maintain 130lbs (thou plan on losing 6-8lbs more by excercising). And I get these kind of comments all the time. You know what I think? They are 1. not used to see you looking normal and healthy) 2. Society is overweight so people in healthy range of weight starts to stand out. It's difficult for others understand that, but don't worry. They will used to new you after some time.
As for family - my is the same. Mo mom for example says that I'm too skinny all the time and now I know it's just because she saw me fat whole my life. She has always coddle me with food and takes me for a child even now when I'm 25.
So my advice - don't worry. If you're feeling good and healthy than you are. As long as you're not way over your BMI level it means you takes it as you should.0 -
A Co-worker of mine did a double-take when I walked in the room yesterday and said "Wow, you really are a twig now aren't you?".
Now I KNOW this woman meant well. Her intentions weren't to cause offense and I know it was a back-handed way of complimenting my hard work (she's been complimentary before). Realistically, I am not twig or waif-like at all (Had I have been underweight, this would have been an inappropriate comment). I'm a very healthy weight and I probably have quite a bit of fat I could get away with safely losing - but yes, I've been called 'Skinny' too. Again, I'm not insulted - I'm probably 'skinny' in comparison to my size pre-tracking, so again - a backhanded way of saying 'nice going!'
0 -
My sisters and friends are the worst..because of that, I usually don't say very much. They can all talk about their diets, their weight, their fat...but if I say anything to contribute, I get eyerolls and backhanded comments...I find it better to say nothing.0
-
JustMissTracy wrote: »My sisters and friends are the worst..because of that, I usually don't say very much. They can all talk about their diets, their weight, their fat...but if I say anything to contribute, I get eyerolls and backhanded comments...I find it better to say nothing.
We must have the same sisters.
0 -
My sister calls me 'Annie' short for anorexic and I find it terribly offensive and have told her as much. She says its a compliment because she wishes she was slimmer. Okay, but it's a serious illness and shouldn't be joked about. All I did was work consistently at dropping the extra 20 lbs that piled on over 2 years of being sedentary...
My sister is still struggling with her weight, and though wants to lose 30 pounds, prefers not to change her eating habits or become more active. Back in Spring 2014 I had invited her to join Weight Watchers with me, but she kept cancelling last minute. Then I found MFP and even helped create her account. But she never used it and has been giving me sarcastic and mean-spirited comments since I dropped the weight. I think it is her own insecurity, though not fun for me. But I love being at my healthier weight And she's the only 'meany' in the crowd so I try not to let it bother me too much.
In general, I think the change in our weight can take a while for others to adjust to...when my parents commented on my weight loss I simply said 'that's what being more active and eating healthier foods that my doctor recommended does"...and that made sense to them. They were concerned at the time because they heard my sister calling me anorexic. As I write this I realize I still get upset about it. Getting to a healthy weight is something to celebrate after all
Still, I do check in with myself and my doctor to be sure I am at a healthy weight for my body - just makes good sense.
Jean0 -
Jealousy is such a green eye monster, when I see other people loosing weight and their stories and they are happy at their goal weight, I cheer them on and support them by saying "keep up the good work!"
that's it right there....jealousy. Either with regards to how you look or to the fact that you actually had the gumption to take care of something they also have an issue with and are too apathetic to do anything about. Comments like "my boyfriend loves me the way I am" might be true, but is often (though not always) also just an excuse for someone who wants to be smaller but is too lazy to bother doing anything about it. I think part of the reason people can get so nasty about it is that seeing you succeed forces them to face the fact that they are nowhere near where you are because they can't be bothered to even try. They see that they don't like how things are and that they're doing it to themselves. Unfortunately it's easier to lash out at other people for your own "failings" than to admit them and this generally turns into mean comments (you're a bag of bones), or attempts to halt someone else's success so there's not as stark a contrast between them and you (when you're another 20 pounds away from being "normal" weight and people who are 40 pounds overweight tell you to stop where you are, or you'll be "too skinny"). people are weird. ignore them.
0 -
I have dealt with this as well. Unfortunately, I don't have a snappy comeback. I usually just give a vague "I'm within a healthy weight range" or "my doctor is very happy with my current weight". I find it so interesting that the same person who is saying it would never dream of telling another "you're too fat", but I really think it's the same thing.
All I can tell you is that is gets better with time. I hit my goal weight around 7 months ago, and the comments are on the decline.
If you are in the normal range for BMI and at 18% BF, I doubt you have body dysmorphia or an eating disorder. However, you could have a chat with your doctor, just to confirm this.
I get told that I'm too skinny by members of my family who are--as you might put it--too fat. I have so wanted to point out the fact that I am the only one with a healthy bmi.
0 -
People can just be mean. Everyone assumes I starve myself or I eat like a bird when I maintain a bmi of around 19 and it is really annoying and hurtful. I wanna tell them no it's self control and exercise try it and maybe you won't be fat but that would be rude. People always have opinions of how you should look what matters is knowing that you are healthy and happy0
-
My family has definitely done this to me. I got "Wow you look great...you should keep not eating...."
Hm, thanks?
When I was pushing three hundred pounds, the same people had an awful lot of nasty things to say then too. I've learned to not listen to what others think. I'm working on my health and that's all they need to know. I haven't got a place in my life for people that discourage my hard work.
I've taken to casually sniping back with "Yeah, I've lost weight. You have no idea how many calories I burn putting up with your negative crap!"
0 -
I've had male colleagues tell me that I've lost my bust and that men like curves. Why the he'll would I care what random men think about my body? I've also had comments about conforming to my husbands tastes. First point is that he gets no say in my body and second, his actual tastes are for a small bust and low body fat. Also at a 23 inch waist and a big round booty I have plenty of curves, I just don't dress to show it off at work.
The myth that all guys like full bussoms is just a myth- it's personal. I know loads of guys who much prefer a small bust. I love, love, love a guy with long hair but many of my friends hate it- just personal taste.0 -
My bossed asked me not long after he hired me if I planned to lose any more weight. He said, "You're really pretty slim." I appreciated the sentiment, but I'm still 20 lbs overweight.
My mom has made noises to the effect that she's worried about me losing too much weight, but she doesn't push it.0 -
I am 4'11" also. I started at 150 and now 99. At about 110 I got a lot of you are too skinny, don't lose anymore. I used to explain, then I just said yes I stopped even though I planned to lose more. Those detractors will never notice that you lost more. If they ask I just say I am figuring out maintanence.0
-
xKoalaBearx wrote: »xKoalaBearx wrote: »I'm not sure people are seeing the bright side of all these comments. Whenever I hear the classic "you don't need to lose anymore" or "you're going to disappear", etc. I never look at the comment as negative. I take them as a compliment and here's why:
I set out a goal to lose weight, get healthy and it's working. So much so that people feel the need to comment. I LOVE hearing ALL the comments because it tells me what I'm doing is working.
Think about it the other way... Would you want to work so hard, lose all the weight, get healthy and NO ONE notices? This way is so much cooler.
So to everyone here who gets offended, realize that these commenters really aren't being negative. WE are interpreting their comments as negative.
Instead, look at it from a different perspective. And maybe respond the way that I respond to ALL the comments I get:
Take them as a compliment, smile and say, "Thanks!"
I think there's a difference between a well-meaning comment like 'you're tiny', and some of the other comments people are reporting on this thread. 'Thanks' would not be an appropriate response to some of them.
I guess that's my point. Well meaning comment or not, what I'm trying to accomplish is working and they are noticing. Always responding with something like "Thanks. I've been working hard to get healthy. Thanks for noticing." And ignoring the fact that someone was being negative allows me to enjoy that what I'm doing is noticeable, I get to take the high road and stay classy, and I get to keep cool under pressure. And it shuts them up because there's really nothing to say after you thank them. Also, why feel bad when I'm looking and feeling better than them at this point? I think it's even more appropriate to respond this way in those situations.
I love this, perfect response: "Thanks. I've been working hard to get healthy. Thanks for noticing."2 -
I love it to be honest. I dont know why people get offended when people "skinny shame". I see it as theyre just jelouse.
On my list of things that make me happy, being skinny is on there. Because who wouldnt want to look bomb in everything they try on at the store? Or who wouldnt want to have a thigh gap. lol0 -
Um, wow, this may be the LA in me, but I think you guys are WAY too nice, and I applaud you for your self control. If someone said this to me, I'd probably lose my mind. I mean my god "anorexia is in this season?" what the eff. Hi, Captain of Team Slap-a-B**** here LOL. You guys are amazing for having been so cool and calm in your responses and my fully automatic temper salutes you.0
-
OK so I honestly don't know if I've posted here before (I have a terrible memory). I was sick on Sunday but ever since my boyfriend has been on my case saying I don't eat enough. I have always been a shaky person and I chalk that up to my mild anemia and too much caffeine in my diet; I know I should change this but I just haven't. anyhow, what do I do about this; it really bothers me that he's going around the house and in front of the kids saying I'm starving myself. I eat all day long I feel; I do snack and recently I have been putting less on my plate at meals because I noticed that I was wasting a lot. It just doesn't feel like he's joking.0
-
I would get this all the time when I was at my lowest weight (sadly I've packed on about 30 pounds since then, but working on getting it back off). But I too was no where near skinny. lol I was 178 pounds and at 5' 5", that is still technically obese. I didn't look obese (and still don't at my current weight either) and was far from too skinny. I mean wearing a size 10 jeans and a large shirt is pretty far from skinny, but it was a long way from where I had been in 3X shirt and size 24W pants. I think it was just because I had lost so much weight from where everyone was use to seeing me.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.4K Getting Started
- 259.6K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 387 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.2K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 914 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions