"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?
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I was getting the "you're too skinny, you look sick/old" when my BMI was 38( 30 is the starting point of obesity) lol I haven't taken it seriously since then.8
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i have an older sister...who years ago told me people think you're sick and that something is wrong with you. That was about 20 years ago. Being older and wiser.. i now realize she was jealous and she wanted me to gain weight. It worked! i started eating and gaining..didn't want people talking about me.
now being more wise..i'd never fall for that line again. know yourself..your healthy bmi..and to heck with critics..especially those in your family.6 -
"No, I'm not. This is what healthy looks like." That tends to bring the conversation to an abrupt end.16
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Yes. In fact when my mom immediately started in on me being too thin at Christmas (I’ve been maintaining five years at that point) my brother pointed out I was the only person in the room who wasn’t obese and I was the one nagged. Love them all. But annoying.
Early on it was just a way of saying they noticed the change.5 -
I'm 5'6 and presently at 137lbs. (I've lost 77 lbs total and in maintenance)
Hubby and I were talking the other day and the topic of a perfect weight came up. When I asked him what my perfect weight was, he said, "150." At the time, I just said, "Oh." I'm still not sure what to think. I like me at 137.5 -
I get that a lot. At 5'7" and 135 lbs, I had a BMI of 21 and I could run 10k in 46 minutes. Yet people told me I look sick and need to gain weight! I caved in and gained but I will lose it again4
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5'7" here and last I checked was 118#. Low was 114 and did I get the skinny crap. "I bet you have to run around in the shower just to get wet" Still get it, just ignore it. My doc says I am good.10
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5'7" here and last I checked was 118#. Low was 114 and did I get the skinny crap. "I bet you have to run around in the shower just to get wet" Still get it, just ignore it. My doc says I am good.
But you're right at the underweight mark. At 114 you *were* underweight.
I can understand why you're getting those comments.8 -
collectingblues wrote: »5'7" here and last I checked was 118#. Low was 114 and did I get the skinny crap. "I bet you have to run around in the shower just to get wet" Still get it, just ignore it. My doc says I am good.
But you're right at the underweight mark. At 114 you *were* underweight.
I can understand why you're getting those comments.
I don't personally know anyone with a BMI below 20 that seems to be at a healthy weight. While I have experienced some feedback that I am too thin at between 24 and 25 BMI, I don't think the feedback is unwarranted at every weight.
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CarvedTones wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »5'7" here and last I checked was 118#. Low was 114 and did I get the skinny crap. "I bet you have to run around in the shower just to get wet" Still get it, just ignore it. My doc says I am good.
But you're right at the underweight mark. At 114 you *were* underweight.
I can understand why you're getting those comments.
I don't personally know anyone with a BMI below 20 that seems to be at a healthy weight. While I have experienced some feedback that I am too thin at between 24 and 25 BMI, I don't think the feedback is unwarranted at every weight.
Yup.
20 is what is considered really the bottom for non-Asians. The range extends to 18.5 primarily so that that population, and those who are legitimately small-framed (I'm going to also argue that if you're 5'7", you don't have a small frame) aren't erroneously considered underweight.
My physicians have always been very clear with me that I was not to maintain under 20. I don't necessarily like that advice, but I concede that they have a point.4 -
OK - do I look underweight? Yall can woo me but my BMI per the chart is 17.9, Which oddly enough was what my BF gizmo also calculated. I think #s on a chart are just that. Average #s. To tell someone at their height and weight that they are over or under weight with no other data is ludicrous. Some folks at my height look FABULOUS 20-30 pounds heavier. Me I look and feel like a whale at anything mid to upper normal BMI. Lately more Drs are also taking a waist measurement to help them figure out if you are over or under weight. Now that I have been maintaining about 8 months a lot of the comments have actually stopped. I think part of the issue is also that people see you losing weight and are afraid that you are never going to stop and turn into a pile of anorexic bones. Once they see you staying at the weight you choose normally the comments quiet down.
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Maybe someday, if I ever manage to get that far.I Right now tbat "future Sandy's" problem.1
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I think alot of it is that people are just uncomfortable with change. It takes a while for people who were used to accepting you as larger, to get used to seeing and acceoting you at a lower weight. Also, people who have recently lost quite a bit of weight, tend to look ill for a few months, until thier skin, muscles, movement and morning makeup/dressup routine catch up with thier new bodies. I've noticed it several times with friends and family now. Eventually a few months of maintenance and tney look better again, but until I realized how normal that was, I was quite worried about a couple family nembers.
Fortunately I'm not the type of person to tell someone they look like they are recovering from cancer, but I was a bit worried that it was something beyond normal weightbloss at first.6 -
SummerSkier wrote: »OK - do I look underweight? Yall can woo me but my BMI per the chart is 17.9, Which oddly enough was what my BF gizmo also calculated. I think #s on a chart are just that. Average #s. To tell someone at their height and weight that they are over or under weight with no other data is ludicrous. Some folks at my height look FABULOUS 20-30 pounds heavier. Me I look and feel like a whale at anything mid to upper normal BMI. Lately more Drs are also taking a waist measurement to help them figure out if you are over or under weight. Now that I have been maintaining about 8 months a lot of the comments have actually stopped. I think part of the issue is also that people see you losing weight and are afraid that you are never going to stop and turn into a pile of anorexic bones. Once they see you staying at the weight you choose normally the comments quiet down.
Honestly? Yes, you do. You clearly have bones showing, and I wouldn't be happy with that lack of muscle on my thighs.13 -
SummerSkier wrote: »OK - do I look underweight? Yall can woo me but my BMI per the chart is 17.9, Which oddly enough was what my BF gizmo also calculated. I think #s on a chart are just that. Average #s. To tell someone at their height and weight that they are over or under weight with no other data is ludicrous. Some folks at my height look FABULOUS 20-30 pounds heavier. Me I look and feel like a whale at anything mid to upper normal BMI. Lately more Drs are also taking a waist measurement to help them figure out if you are over or under weight. Now that I have been maintaining about 8 months a lot of the comments have actually stopped. I think part of the issue is also that people see you losing weight and are afraid that you are never going to stop and turn into a pile of anorexic bones. Once they see you staying at the weight you choose normally the comments quiet down.
Yes you definitely look underweight.12 -
SummerSkier wrote: »OK - do I look underweight?
Honestly, yes. That's just an opinion of some guy on the internet. No, you don't look like a starving sack of bones. But I think you would be healthier with a few more pounds. Please don't take that personally; you asked and I am just giving one man's honest opinion.16 -
Haha. I think I will stick with the fit muscles and toned bod. Interesting tho y’all think I’m underweight. Good thing I run the show on my own appearance.5
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SummerSkier wrote: »Haha. I think I will stick with the fit muscles and toned bod. Interesting tho y’all think I’m underweight. Good thing I run the show on my own appearance.
You asked for others' opinions, and you didn't like them. You won't like mine either.
There's more to looking good, it's more about staying healthy in the long run. You might be feel good now, but make sure to get routine lab work, check thyroid, and bone density scans. Because those are some of the issues that will occur with being chronically underweight.
Don't take this lightly. You don't want to be 30 years old with osteoporosis. Like me.19 -
SummerSkier wrote: »Haha. I think I will stick with the fit muscles and toned bod. Interesting tho y’all think I’m underweight. Good thing I run the show on my own appearance.
Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.
Frankly, if you want to stick to that line of thought, I *don't* think your muscles look fit. You've got a defined core, sure, but your legs are tiny and not very muscular at all.
But you do you.13 -
I hope to be just as strong and fit when I am 30 as I am now.
comments noted. So sorry if y’all are struggling. All are entitled to their opinions. I have no argument. It just shows the point of this thread. 
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So funny the peeps here.4 -
There is a guy I work with who lost a lot of weight within a very short period of time and I hadn't seen him between. I'll admit my first thought was "wow, he looks sickly". It took my brain a few weeks to process the change and realize he's a perfectly healthy weight. I think that's just the human mind.
Strangely enough, I've never had anyone tell me that I'm too skinny and I've spent pretty much my whole life on the bottom end of the BMI spectrum, sometimes in the underweight. But if you use the calculations that take into account frame size, I was always within the norm. I have a verrrrry small frame. And how much muscle you have makes a huge difference as well. I look pretty much exactly the same on the left at BMI of 18.3 as I do on the right with a BMI of 19.8.
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Someone knowing your history does flavor their perception. People who think I am too skinny are people who have known me a long time. I have recently taken up SUP paddling and go to some group outings posted in a FB group for local paddlers. In that crowd, I don't stand out at all; most of the SUP paddlers I have met are fit and trim. the only comment I get about my size is that I can use a smaller board than a bigger guy.2
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SummerSkier wrote: »I hope to be just as strong and fit when I am 30 as I am now. comments noted. So sorry if y’all are struggling. All are entitled to their opinions. I have no argument. It just shows the point of this thread.
You look like a runner to me. Thin but healthy.11 -
@SummerSkier I think you look great. My BMI calculator for a 5’7” woman puts your 118 lbs at the bottom of normal *which IS normal” — and we know BMI is not valid for folks with a lot of muscle, which you have.
Your doc says you’re great & you’re happy- I’m confused by some of these comments.
I think people are very worried about eating disorders - I have never suffered from one and I have not researched the incidence of eating disorders in folks who have lost weight. I know they are in the media a lot.
I wish you well.9 -
@SummerSkier I think you look fit
You know your body better than anyone else. You are in the best position to decide what is a good weight for you. 6 -
SummerSkier wrote: »OK - do I look underweight? Yall can woo me but my BMI per the chart is 17.9, Which oddly enough was what my BF gizmo also calculated. I think #s on a chart are just that. Average #s. To tell someone at their height and weight that they are over or under weight with no other data is ludicrous. Some folks at my height look FABULOUS 20-30 pounds heavier. Me I look and feel like a whale at anything mid to upper normal BMI. Lately more Drs are also taking a waist measurement to help them figure out if you are over or under weight. Now that I have been maintaining about 8 months a lot of the comments have actually stopped. I think part of the issue is also that people see you losing weight and are afraid that you are never going to stop and turn into a pile of anorexic bones. Once they see you staying at the weight you choose normally the comments quiet down.
Interesting to see a picture of someone who is actually underweight according to the BMI charts... you look great to me!
And you're rocking that bikini!5 -
No. I'd never allow somebody else's opinion of me make me question my self-image. I grew out of that years ago.
The best way (only way, really) to stop people from making the comments is to stop them the minute they start. They need to be shut down swiftly and permanently.
Depending on who you're saying it to, this can range from anywhere between "*kitten* off, I didn't ask you" to "your comments on my weight aren't needed or appreciated" to "thanks, but I like the way I look."5 -
garystrickland357 wrote: »SummerSkier wrote: »I hope to be just as strong and fit when I am 30 as I am now. comments noted. So sorry if y’all are struggling. All are entitled to their opinions. I have no argument. It just shows the point of this thread.
You look like a runner to me. Thin but healthy.
Bingo. 5 -
I actually tell people now that what they are saying is offensive, and they are comparing me to what I used to be, not what a healthy size is. people quickly stopped commenting and I dont care if I come across as rude because frankly making comments like that is rude anyway.4
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