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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

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Replies

  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
    her shoes smelled of piss
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Kept pissing in my shoes
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
    She had a crazy yellow shower shoe fetish
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    He's much more experienced in Fetishes than I
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
    I thought I was pretty street smart, knowing all the crazy stuff that goes on, until one night with her left me short two teeth, electrode burns on my chest, candle wax residue, and in the ER for a dislocated jaw... we really didn't break up, I am just recovering. :D
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    He got scared and didn't want to play with me anymore
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    His tricks were old and outdated
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    He dumped me for a Spring chick
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
    For some reason at the point of climax she would always cry and yell, "THANK YOU, DADDY!"
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    He wanted me to call him daddy but I told him my daddy abandoned me so he packed up and left and I never saw him again :'(
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    It's like we never meet!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    I like boxes more than bags... Cardboard cuts sting more
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    Ouch.....the constant paper or plastic questions were tooo much!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    He kept tossing me plastic bags when I said to get a rubber... Just super cheap
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    She said wrap it wrap it! I'm not a mind reader!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    I kept waking up with his bag on my head
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    She said my routine was gong showish :'(
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    I was losing my hearing from the gong he banged after we banged
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    You didn't have to jump up and bang it every single time! Fake it once or or twice!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    pigheaded wrote: »
    You didn't have to jump up and bang it every single time! Fake it once or or twice!

    I always faked it... I could have gotten there if you would have gotten the box.

    At least then I could imagine you were Solid Snake from Metal Gear. Oh my....
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    We agreed not to bring up the snake! We had therapy!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    pigheaded wrote: »
    We agreed not to bring up the snake! We had therapy!

    I was sleeping with the therapist :o
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
    she was obsessed w paper bags and would orgasm in grocery stores
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    That explains the lack of shaving and notepad fettish
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    WantonHeartTroubledHead wrote: »
    she was obsessed w paper bags and would orgasm in grocery stores

    He thought I was into bags when it was always the cardboard boxes... Oh my
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
    She learned ventriloquism and when I went "downtown" she's throw her voice from her lady parts to criticize my performance
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    He walked out after because I didn't yell out Encore!!!
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    She was always quiet during sex
  • brittneynathan0579
    brittneynathan0579 Posts: 69 Member
    She was not a he
  • pigheaded
    pigheaded Posts: 3,083 Member
    edited July 2017
    The butterflies always in the way!

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