After 40...what's with the choice between face and body?!!!

wisdomfromyou

Well...between some hypochondria episodes and just changing eating habits over the past two years, my weight loss journey has been going quite well.

In the process I discovered I must have a pretty darn good metabolism since I used to eat industrial quantities of food and had only become overweight, never obese; and once I started eating right and some exercise, the weight came off quite easily. It has always been like this.

Even now at 42 I realized I have no problems losing weight as long as I don't binge.

All this is great...except - hmm...someone has recently showed me how to take "selfies".
I had never done that (both the name and the concept are kind of annoying to me) plus I just haven't had that many pictures of myself in the past year or so. I mainly photograph the kids.

So I recently took a series of selfies and I was terrified to admit I am starting to think of the services of a plastic surgeon for the first time in my life. I did some frantic Googling on weight loss and "face loss"...and it looks like it's a real issue. Apparently, women after 40 kind of have to choose between body and face ...or choose "body+ plastic surgeon".

Do I look like I lost weight compared to older pics? Sure.

The weight loss seems to have made my face look "finer", more "delicate"...but guess what? Also older.
And that really...REALLY pushed my buttons. My mom has always had youthful, plumpy skin but that's because she's always been overweight, even obese at times.

I thought I wanted to lose just a few more pounds maybe 5-7, to get rid of that last bit of fat on stomach, hips etc; but when I saw my selfies I realized it's time for a halt with the weight loss if that means losing my face to a "finer"/"more sophisticated yet "older" look.

I had never had a great body but I always felt my face was a bit of an asset.
Nothing breath-taking but I'd always felt my face was "pretty". I was easily able to accept deficits in the body department (which I had since the age of 14)...but in the face? I find it really hard as this was my trick in the "one trick pony".

For the first time ever I see pronounced bags and a bit of loose, crepey skin under my eyes, loss of volume in the cheeks...darn signs of aging.
And I had NONE of that until less than a year ago.

You may argue "well...time has just passed...what do you expect?".
But these signs kicked in very abruptly, literally overnight; so it makes me think it's not just natural aging but a lot must have to do with the weight loss coupled with the panic episodes over fear of illness that lasted for a few months (huge stress).

So what do I do now? Go to the plastic surgeon for "little adjustments? Put some weight back on to get back some plumpy contour in the face? Live with it and accept that lower weight is better for health even if that means a less than perfectly plumpy, bursting-with-collagen/fat, youthful face?

Look at this article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1382603/Face-facts-Losing-weight-age-thank-Nigella-standing-upholstered.html

My goodness!

What's the solution? Any input appreciated.

...

sofaking6

I don't believe that gaining weight is going to restore that lost collagen under your eyes. Sorry - it may work in the cheeks but under the eyes, I'm pretty sure that some filler or an eye lift are your choices. Note how your link (to the LAST place you should get any kind of advice from, btw) doesn't have any shots of people who gained weight and lost wrinkles?

wisdomfromyou

So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Oh...and is that a bad news source from the Brits? I don't know their newspapers very well.

I mean, I know that lower weight means better health, period.
And given the huge hypochondriac I am, perhaps I should just ignore the vanity and move on, loose skin or not under my eyes.
But it's hard.

I am starting to understand how painful aging must be for those super gorgeous women whose beauty was their MAIN AND ONLY asset in life. That one thing that takes care of you, makes your life smooth, easy, lively and happy...that one thing you see it going away. It must suck.

I have never been a super-gorgeous woman but I felt I had a pretty face, especially in contrast with my problematic body since the age of 14: very full thighs with tons of cellulite, small shoulders, pear-shaped, with an overall inability to make clothes look good.
When you never had something, you can't miss it. My cellulite is still on my thighs, just as it was when I was 14... and I couldn't care less.

But the face?...

Arrghhhh.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

jgnatca

This is my target.


http://biohackme.net/centenarian-people-living-beyond-100-years/

HeySwoleSister

LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

sofaking6

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




*which - SCREW THAT lol

crazyjerseygirl

So a few notes

1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?

SillyCat1975

We all age like fine wine

PeachyCarol

EWJLang wrote: »

LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

Seconding the advice to try oil washing! It's da bomb!

A lot of what's going to happen is genetic. Sorry.

I am lucky. I'm 52 and really don't have any wrinkles. There is the very faintest hint of crepe under my eyes. You have to be right up in my face to see it.

To date, I've lost 31 pounds. With that loss, I can see where I've lost collagen, though. There will be creasing. There will be some sagging.

Oh well. I also have autoimmune arthritis and degenerative disc disease. My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 90 pounds. 1/3 of the way there. I'll take a face with a few creases and less load on my joints for the next however many years I have left.

Everything's a trade-off.

My health matters. My face doesn't.

Big picture, here.

jgnatca

My weight loss has probably gained me ten years longevity, if not more. With the added energy I look younger. My cheeks pink up. I have a sparkle in my eye. I don't see the pursuit of health to be an either-or proposition. I will never be that uncertain young woman again. Don't want to be.

Ideabaker

Losing weight in the face, often making the face look far older than it did before, is a real "thing" for some of us. I posted a similar question some time ago:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1115644/your-rear-end-or-your-face

and after careful consideration, I did choose to amend my original goal weight to allow a bit more fat in my face. Am doing more strength training to firm up and sculpt my body rather than simply losing fat-- which was aging my face prematurely!

Before you run to the PS, try looking at recomping instead of just losing.

BinaryPulsar

Selfies are weird because of twisting into weird angles with the camera right in front of your face (Bad lighting also). How do you look in the mirror or in a regular photo. Try drinking more water, eat a well balanced diet, eat enough protein, veggies and fruit, wear sunscreen. Exercise is great for youthfulness. Lifting weights. Be slim and fit, but not hung up on perfectionism. Choose what works for you and be realistic. I am 37, and haven't had this issue yet.

wisdomfromyou

herrspoons wrote: »

Choice?

I... I don't understand.

Well...it turns out that after 40, when you lose weight, this also shows in your face and NOT in a good way. It ages you.

You lose volume in the face (all that fat you can't wait to see off your body was actually helping your face stay up); skin becomes more flax, features become sharper - but not in that "chiseled-due-to-nice-bone structure" kind of way.
Sharp as in "harsh" or "gaunt". The contour of your face starts acquiring small hills and valleys from collagen break-down...which otherwise fat was keeping up.

Believe me...there's a certain choice you must make after 40, between keeping a youthful face as well as some weight and continuing to lose weight and looking gaunt.

I wanted to lose some extra pounds for an even leaner body but now F it, I am stopping.
I will increase my calories for maintenance because one more lb off and I am starting to look in a way that I DON'T want.

Liftng4Lis

I'm going for healthy and alive. Age happens.

wisdomfromyou

BFDeal wrote: »

So like a "but-her-face?" I hear ya. I suppose maybe a paper bag would work too. YMMV. I'm not sure.

Good point - says the hypochondriac in me who wants to live to 150. :-)

astrampe

I prefer a healthy heart, strong bones and joints and muscles that can lift heavy things and move furniture...Also no diabetes, high bp or other overweight/obesity diseases to a plump youthful face...I earned the lines on mt 46 year old face......

maasha81

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

So a few notes

1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?

Agreed. The facial expressions are so different and the pics chosen may have been deliberate.

I have seen ppl who lost tons of weight drastically and yes they look aged and haggard but then there are those who lose weight the correct way ...a bit more slowly and they actually look more youthful.

I believe in aging gracefully. Of course I use my facial products - chemical peels, sunblock, vit C and A and it helps. Fine tune your skin regimen ..hydrate and eat those healthy fats within moderation.

I don't think you have to choose one over the other.

wisdomfromyou

EWJLang wrote: »

LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

You're kidding me. I have them - I am already using really good stuff, some prescribed by dermatologist. On the surface, where skincare products can act, my skin is in perfect condition.

I read that the kind of things that bother me will NOT be solved by any cream no matter how "miraculous".
You can't solve volume loss, or sunken under-eye area, or bags/puffiness with those kind of things.

astrampe

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

EWJLang wrote: »

LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

You're kidding me. I have them - I am already using really good stuff, some prescribed by dermatologist. On the surface, where skincare products can act, my skin is in perfect condition.

I read that the kind of things that bother me will NOT be solved by any cream no matter how "miraculous".
You can't solve volume loss, or sunken under-eye area, or bags/puffiness with those kind of things.

These things are all part of growing older...why are you afraid of that?

wisdomfromyou

sofaking6 wrote: »

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




*which - SCREW THAT lol

Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.

As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.

Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.

LivingtheLeanDream

I hear ya but it's only in certain lights that my scrawny neck looks bad and my lines more pronounced....despite less plump skin I'm happier in my slimmer body, i love being fit, strong and lean so I guess I'll just live with the face make up and hairstyle can work wonders

wisdomfromyou

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

So a few notes

1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?

1. Maybe - but i don't think lighting explains all those differences there.
2. I don't know for sure. But I saw the changes kicking in over night, as I lost these last lbs.

I was overweight on and off since the age of 15. Nice, huh?

I had a period during my late 20's-early 30's when I slimmed down significantly and had a perfect weight.
When I got married, at the age of 28, a friend who had not seen me in a while told me that "I looked great being so slim and all...but I must stop with the weight loss because my face cheeks had fallen".

So maybe it is my genetics too as I know I kind of inherited flat cheeks from my family...but still.

I think the recent weight loss has accelerated the aging process in the face - and I want my pretty darn face back. :-)

sofaking6

Botox and fillers can really go a long way, and ERMEGERD do I miss being able to afford that stuff.

macgurlnet

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

sofaking6 wrote: »

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




*which - SCREW THAT lol

Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.

As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.

Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.

For the record, my mom is approaching 50 and people mistake her for my sister (I'm turning 28 soon). She has aged gracefully, I'd say Grandma doesn't look her age, either, so I suppose this is genetics for the most part.

Without seeing how you look...I would say it would be worth maintaining your current weight and seeing if any of the skin perks up? I know they say it can take a year or two for skin to firm back up if it's going to and I'm assuming that's true for skin all over.

And as someone else mentioned - recomposition/bulking & cutting would be worth looking into as well. If you build up muscle and then lose the fat, you'll get that slimmer look you want eventually.

~Lyssa

astrampe

Maybe you should stop hanging on to something someone said when you were 28 and go run or lift something heavy...The endorphins are awesome and makes you feel 30 years younger, despite being red faced and sweaty!

tomatoey

you could use retin-a for fine wrinkles and texture, and *always* wear sunscreen, but for the issues you mention it's pretty much down to fillers and surgery.

i read somewhere that staying at around 21-22% body fat (sorry can't remember where) is a happy medium re face/butt balance for a lot of women.

tomatoey

maasha81 wrote: »

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

So a few notes

1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?

Agreed. The facial expressions are so different and the pics chosen may have been deliberate.

I have seen ppl who lost tons of weight drastically and yes they look aged and haggard but then there are those who lose weight the correct way ...a bit more slowly and they actually look more youthful.

I believe in aging gracefully. Of course I use my facial products - chemical peels, sunblock, vit C and A and it helps. Fine tune your skin regimen ..hydrate and eat those healthy fats within moderation.

I don't think you have to choose one over the other.

you're young, aren't you? ;p

wisdomfromyou

mamapeach910 wrote: »

EWJLang wrote: »

LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

Seconding the advice to try oil washing! It's da bomb!

A lot of what's going to happen is genetic. Sorry.

I am lucky. I'm 52 and really don't have any wrinkles. There is the very faintest hint of crepe under my eyes. You have to be right up in my face to see it.

To date, I've lost 31 pounds. With that loss, I can see where I've lost collagen, though. There will be creasing. There will be some sagging.

Oh well. I also have autoimmune arthritis and degenerative disc disease. My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 90 pounds. 1/3 of the way there. I'll take a face with a few creases and less load on my joints for the next however many years I have left.

Everything's a trade-off.

My health matters. My face doesn't.

Big picture, here.

At 42, I don't have any wrinkles either - but then again, I'd better.

My problem is not wrinkles - it is an overall slightly "withery", "sharper" look that comes with weight loss after a certain age. It's almost like you are very slowly starting to "prune up".
I am not remotely there yet - but you can almost see a very faint start of this process and this is just disturbing to me.

When you are plumper, the fat in the face prevents those natural changes (collagen break down) from being too visible. I know this from my mom.
Fat but nice and plumpy in the face. :-)
Also with diabetis. :-(

For thin persons, plastic surgeons apparently address this problem with fillers and lasers.

But yes - health wise you are right. Prunier but healthier and hopefully with longer life expectancy:-)

PeachyCarol

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

sofaking6 wrote: »

wisdomfromyou wrote: »

So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




*which - SCREW THAT lol

Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.

As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.

Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.

No.

This is coming from someone older than you.

Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.

It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.

So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.

JPW1990

The wrinkles there there whether you have them stretched out over a layer of fat or not. IMO, better to see them at 40 and watch them gradually increase over time, than wait til you're 60+ and go from smooth, chubby babyface to grand canyon overnight any time you get sick for a week.