After 40...what's with the choice between face and body?!!!
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wisdomfromyou wrote: »Well...between some hypochondria episodes and just changing eating habits over the past two years, my weight loss journey has been going quite well.
In the process I discovered I must have a pretty darn good metabolism since I used to eat industrial quantities of food and had only become overweight, never obese; and once I started eating right and some exercise, the weight came off quite easily. It has always been like this.
Even now at 42 I realized I have no problems losing weight as long as I don't binge.
All this is great...except - hmm...someone has recently showed me how to take "selfies".
I had never done that (both the name and the concept are kind of annoying to me) plus I just haven't had that many pictures of myself in the past year or so. I mainly photograph the kids.
So I recently took a series of selfies and I was terrified to admit I am starting to think of the services of a plastic surgeon for the first time in my life. I did some frantic Googling on weight loss and "face loss"...and it looks like it's a real issue. Apparently, women after 40 kind of have to choose between body and face ...or choose "body+ plastic surgeon".
Do I look like I lost weight compared to older pics? Sure.
The weight loss seems to have made my face look "finer", more "delicate"...but guess what? Also older.
And that really...REALLY pushed my buttons. My mom has always had youthful, plumpy skin but that's because she's always been overweight, even obese at times.
I thought I wanted to lose just a few more pounds maybe 5-7, to get rid of that last bit of fat on stomach, hips etc; but when I saw my selfies I realized it's time for a halt with the weight loss if that means losing my face to a "finer"/"more sophisticated yet "older" look.
I had never had a great body but I always felt my face was a bit of an asset.
Nothing breath-taking but I'd always felt my face was "pretty". I was easily able to accept deficits in the body department (which I had since the age of 14)...but in the face? I find it really hard as this was my trick in the "one trick pony".
For the first time ever I see pronounced bags and a bit of loose, crepey skin under my eyes, loss of volume in the cheeks...darn signs of aging.
And I had NONE of that until less than a year ago.
You may argue "well...time has just passed...what do you expect?".
But these signs kicked in very abruptly, literally overnight; so it makes me think it's not just natural aging but a lot must have to do with the weight loss coupled with the panic episodes over fear of illness that lasted for a few months (huge stress).
So what do I do now? Go to the plastic surgeon for "little adjustments? Put some weight back on to get back some plumpy contour in the face? Live with it and accept that lower weight is better for health even if that means a less than perfectly plumpy, bursting-with-collagen/fat, youthful face?
Look at this article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1382603/Face-facts-Losing-weight-age-thank-Nigella-standing-upholstered.html
My goodness!
What's the solution? Any input appreciated.
...
With 45 # plus gone, my face looks my age, or about 15 years older looking now than I looked a year ago. Those pictures in the daily mail pretty much reflect my "before" and "after" face. I don't love that. But I do love being able to walk 9 miles in a day, lifting heavy stuff easily, not being on any medication at ALL (which is not that usual for a person in her middle 60s), wearing single-digit clothing sizes. I am gonna look awesome for my age in 20 years
and one year ago at this time I would have said that I am gonna be dead before that 20 year marker.
OP, what you are experiencing with regard to the face that looks back at you in selfies is something most of us experience ... nature bats last.0 -
Karen_libert wrote: »
1st Nov 2007 ((35yrs) approx 14 stone
2nd post workout April 2014 (42yrs) approx 11 stone
I actually posted these to show how much my face has aged but its not as bad as I thought!
You look just as nice after weight loss too - but how old are you?
If before 40, the weight loss changes are generally much more forgiving to the skin.
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For someone in my fifties, I TOTALLY understand the origin of this thread.
The face can age quicker than the body, and if you feel younger than look then why shouldn't you try to improve that?
How many of us colour our hair? Why? Surely we should all go grey gracefully, regardless of our age? We bleach our teeth, we have fake tans, fake nails.... there are many treatments on the market to enhance our looks and make us feel nice and good about ourselves... and age doesn't figure in our decisions. We do it because it makes us feel/ look better.
I think you should do exactly what you want to do, be that creams, fillers, botox or surgery.
Should you decide to go for surgery, then I for one applaude you for making a big personal decision and one that is still a little 'taboo' here in the UK .... and on this site judging by some of the comments here :-)
Some will judge you, for trying to 'turn the clock back', or not 'facing up to being in your forties', and all those other other somewhat judgemental/ negative cliches. My view is, we all want to feel good about ourselves, and feeling good means addressing our physical, psycological and emotional needs.
So if you face is having a 'moment' I say.... take the face to the place that will make it 'happy' again!!
Bon Chance!!0 -
I agree with aging gracefully. Nothing looks more freakish to me than someone who's had face surgery and no longer has the lines and wrinkles that someone of that age group should have. It just doesn't look right, but this is just my opinion. In the end do what you feel you need to do to be happy with yourself.0
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For someone in my fifties, I TOTALLY understand the origin of this thread.
The face can age quicker than the body, and if you feel younger than look then why shouldn't you try to improve that?
How many of us colour our hair? Why? Surely we should all go grey gracefully, regardless of our age? We bleach our teeth, we have fake tans, fake nails.... there are many treatments on the market to enhance our looks and make us feel nice and good about ourselves... and age doesn't figure in our decisions. We do it because it makes us feel/ look better.
I think you should do exactly what you want to do, be that creams, fillers, botox or surgery.
Should you decide to go for surgery, then I for one applaude you for making a big personal decision and one that is still a little 'taboo' here in the UK .... and on this site judging by some of the comments here :-)
Some will judge you, for trying to 'turn the clock back', or not 'facing up to being in your forties', and all those other other somewhat judgemental/ negative cliches. My view is, we all want to feel good about ourselves, and feeling good means addressing our physical, psycological and emotional needs.
So if you face is having a 'moment' I say.... take the face to the place that will make it 'happy' again!!
Bon Chance!!
I don't think I will ever have surgery unless things get dramatic over time (maybe) - which they are far from right now.
I am afraid of anaesthesia or un-natural results, so no way.
I did not know anything about other "smaller guns" such as fillers or laser treatments because I have always had very nice skin and never cared until the recent little issues, post weight loss.
So I have read a bit about these lately and if all they involve is an injection pinch and very low to no risk of un-natural or permanent look, the heck, I am all for it. Cost can be an issue too though.
And I completely agree with the comparison with other cosmetic interventions people do routinely. From teeth to hair etc.
I think interventions to the skin are still seen as "unorthodox" because most involve the knife and this is more dangerous, in and of itself, compared to hair coloring or teeth whitening or teeth replacing.
As said before, as long as we all stay healthy, we will all enjoy the luxury of fussing over nice bodies and nice faces here on these boards - and have fun, while at it.
You DO NOT want to know what it feels like to hang out on forums such as "anxietyzone.com", in the Hypochondria section, let alone on forums where people diagnosed with cancer offer each other support.
Those are dark, dark, scary places. THIS is fun. Remember that.
So I always say: "Thank you, Lord, for giving me another day when I have the luxury to fuss and "meow-meaow" over "wrinkles" (or whatever) and a "tight body".
This IS a blessing, let's not forget that.
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wisdomfromyou wrote: »Karen_libert wrote: »
1st Nov 2007 ((35yrs) approx 14 stone
2nd post workout April 2014 (42yrs) approx 11 stone
I actually posted these to show how much my face has aged but its not as bad as I thought!
You look just as nice after weight loss too - but how old are you?
If before 40, the weight loss changes are generally much more forgiving to the skin.
It says she is 42 in the second picture.0 -
MynameisJerryB wrote: »I agree with aging gracefully. Nothing looks more freakish to me than someone who's had face surgery and no longer has the lines and wrinkles that someone of that age group should have. It just doesn't look right, but this is just my opinion. In the end do what you feel you need to do to be happy with yourself.
I agree with that. As in "Joan Rivers" (RIP).
BUT: when you end up having some issues that many people in your age range naturally don't have, and you could easily look perfectly normal and beautiful without them, then why not?
In the 40's, skin can still look perfectly smooth and natural.
When you are 80 and your skin is still plump and perky, bursting with supposed collagen - then yeah, it's a bit freaky.
As for men, most I have seen look clearly better with a more mature, slightly wrinkled look.
Too much "puff" and perkiness on a guy's face screams "immaturity" and even "non-attractiveness" to many of us, women. :-)
At least to me, Never found young guys too attractive, not even when I was 18.0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »MynameisJerryB wrote: »I agree with aging gracefully. Nothing looks more freakish to me than someone who's had face surgery and no longer has the lines and wrinkles that someone of that age group should have. It just doesn't look right, but this is just my opinion. In the end do what you feel you need to do to be happy with yourself.
I agree with that. As in "Joan Rivers" (RIP).
BUT: when you end up having some issues that many people in your age range naturally don't have, and you could easily look perfectly normal and beautiful without them, then why not?
In the 40's, skin can still look perfectly smooth and natural.
When you are 80 and your skin is still plump and perky, bursting with supposed collagen - then yeah, it's a bit freaky.
Anyway, 40 is the new 30 and I wouldn't mind looking it
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wisdomfromyou wrote: »
It sounds like you're convinced that all of us over 40 are old and ugly. Whatever.
Why did you come up with this? You are putting words in my mouth and reading wrong into what I say. This is a "no-no". :-)
Some people are fine with a more mature, aging look and would not lose a second of sleep over looking "mature". In fact, if you go back to the recent past, the mature, take-yourself-seriously look was highly coveted. In the 1940's and 1950's women in their 20's sought to look like 40 yo women. It made them feel like "true ladies".
But some of us, less "well-adjusted" people, are not.
All of us have histories behind, including psychological histories.
As someone who has been overweight since the age of 15 (on and off) and has always felt that her only physical asset was the face ...well...I am less than happy to be moving onto the "mature" look.
Now that I finally have a nice body and enough "dressing wisdom" to know what the heck to put on me (as my mother left me supper frumpy and clueless until I figured it out on my own later in life)...I would not mind looking nice for the first time ever - head to toe.
Yet now, here's the body but the face is throwing a bit of a tantrum.
I just don't like this. And I wish I had figured out this weight thing longer time ago so I could wear nice clothes and the jazz ON a young face.
This doesn't mean I think all women after 40 are ugly. :-)
I speak for myself, in the context of my own standards.
So come on.
I think what you're saying is that you feel like with your new weight loss, your face has aged ahead of you?
But this: ... always felt that her only physical asset was the face makes me think that in the past your only value was your face. Ouch.
As someone who has always had dark circles under the eye (make-up counter ladies think I should be wearing purple eyeshadow - NOPE. Now I look like I have a black eye.),
I think that your weight loss is just revealing your actual face. When you were heavier, your "pretty face" was all that you thought you had going for you.
How many times do we hear "she has such a pretty face, if only she lost weight..."? It sounds like you have bought into this. ~You~ have control over whether you like your face.
If you like it "plumper" then yes, you can stop losing weight and deal with the same issues you've had since you were 15, and hold your head high that you continue to have your "only physical asset" of your face.
I has sads.
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »Karen_libert wrote: »
1st Nov 2007 ((35yrs) approx 14 stone
2nd post workout April 2014 (42yrs) approx 11 stone
I actually posted these to show how much my face has aged but its not as bad as I thought!
You look just as nice after weight loss too - but how old are you?
If before 40, the weight loss changes are generally much more forgiving to the skin.
It says she is 42 in the second picture.
Ah. Got it. She looks very nice.0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »MynameisJerryB wrote: »I agree with aging gracefully. Nothing looks more freakish to me than someone who's had face surgery and no longer has the lines and wrinkles that someone of that age group should have. It just doesn't look right, but this is just my opinion. In the end do what you feel you need to do to be happy with yourself.
I agree with that. As in "Joan Rivers" (RIP).
BUT: when you end up having some issues that many people in your age range naturally don't have, and you could easily look perfectly normal and beautiful without them, then why not? For the record though, you look beatiful as you are.
In the 40's, skin can still look perfectly smooth and natural.
When you are 80 and your skin is still plump and perky, bursting with supposed collagen - then yeah, it's a bit freaky.
As for men, most I have seen look clearly better with a more mature, slightly wrinkled look.
Too much "puff" and perkiness on a guy's face screams "immaturity" and even "non-attractiveness" to many of us, women. :-)
At least to me, Never found young guys too attractive, not even when I was 18.
It sounds like you have your mind made up and there's nothing wrong with your decision. If it makes you feel better then go for it!0 -
I'm 40 and I feel that being obese/overweight makes my face look older. I'm not at my goal yet so maybe I won't look fabulous then. I don't look younger with a lot of fat in my face though. All pictures of me have looked horrible to me no matter what age or weight I was.
I'd adjust to your current weight for a several months to a year and see if you still feel the same. Maybe try some different makeup techniques.0 -
who cares if joan rivers looked fake or didn't? as long as joan liked it. which i'm pretty sure she did.0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below. In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke. As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers. Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face. Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
No.
This is coming from someone older than you.
Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.
It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.
So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.
Mamapeach -- Right on the money as usual!
I always admired how Jamie Lee Curtis approached growing older – Aging with class! Read on...
http://www.more.com/news/womens-issues/jamie-lee-curtis-growing-older-wiser
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Karen_libert wrote: »
1st Nov 2007 ((35yrs) approx 14 stone
2nd post workout April 2014 (42yrs) approx 11 stone
I actually posted these to show how much my face has aged but its not as bad as I thought!
You are a pretty girl. You do not look older at all to me in the second pic, in fact until I scrolled down and read, I thought you must be posting the pics to prove losing weight doesn't age a person.
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Gosh, that daily mail article is terrible! Did you really look at the photos? The before photos are all in soft light, which puts less emphasis on wrinkles while the right ones are all in very hard light which emphasizes lines. Plus they put mainly smiling photos to the left and grumpy ones to the right. Actually, many of those people look pretty much the same on both sides!
But I do agree with you that there's a cutoff point at which the face starts looking terrible. For younger people this point might arrive later than with us 40+ people. I went down from 75 to 60kg and decided it's really enough because my face was getting too thin-looking. I'm really proud of the rest of my skin, and even my bumm isn't sagging or has lose skin. Oh well.. my legs still don't fit the rest of my body, but anyway.. it's the face that people look at first and that I look at first. Priorities!0 -
I haven't even lost half the weight I am going to lose, but my face is looking better so far. I'm a little bit worried about that, but I've used a good moisturizer all my life. I'm nearly 63, and if this thread is still around, I'll let you know how it went!0
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Gosh, that daily mail article is terrible! Did you really look at the photos? The before photos are all in soft light, which puts less emphasis on wrinkles while the right ones are all in very hard light which emphasizes lines. Plus they put mainly smiling photos to the left and grumpy ones to the right. Actually, many of those people look pretty much the same on both sides!
But I do agree with you that there's a cutoff point at which the face starts looking terrible. For younger people this point might arrive later than with us 40+ people. I went down from 75 to 60kg and decided it's really enough because my face was getting too thin-looking. I'm really proud of the rest of my skin, and even my bumm isn't sagging or has lose skin. Oh well.. my legs still don't fit the rest of my body, but anyway.. it's the face that people look at first and that I look at first. Priorities!
I definitely think that the way people look in the face as they lose weight is also related to genetics.
Some people have naturally rounder faces even when they are at a normal weight. Others have more oblong/sharper features and flat cheeck-bones which is only apparent when they are at their normal \weight.
If they have some weight on, their faces may appear round when this is not their true face shape.
I have an oval to longer heart-shaped face and fat cheek-bones - and when I lose weight I always show it in the face. My brother has always been thin but sometimes during his mid 20's he lost some more weight and he had formed tons of expression lines on the face when he was smiling.
He is like me, with oval, longer-shaped face.
For example, to me Karen (above) doesn't look like she lost any weight in the face - which I think is really nice because her face looked just perfect before weight loss.0 -
I have a rather thin, slightly oval face, but with pronouced cheek bones and a somewhat pronounced chin. Losing too much weight there just doesn't work out. I don't want to look like a mummy
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For the OP I'm not seeing the problem with the photos. You are 7 years older and you look a little older now. I certainly don't think you look more than 5-7 years older. Of course those aren't super close ups of the spots you think are problem areas.
A couple of years ago my sister lost a little too much weight and it made her look much older. I'm not sure if she gained a few pounds or if it just took time for her body/face to adjust but she looks better/younger now.0 -
mburgess458 wrote: »For the OP I'm not seeing the problem with the photos. You are 7 years older and you look a little older now. I certainly don't think you look more than 5-7 years older. Of course those aren't super close ups of the spots you think are problem areas.
A couple of years ago my sister lost a little too much weight and it made her look much older. I'm not sure if she gained a few pounds or if it just took time for her body/face to adjust but she looks better/younger now.
I am not sure what photos you are referring to.
I think you are talking about Karen's photos as I don't have any online other than one of my body in the profile (which is probably slightly more plump than I am at this moment).
In Karen's case, maybe you can see that she is just a little bit older now, but as you said, clearly NOT 7 years older.
Besides, she lost no weight in the face which I think helps tremendously. Some people lose a lot of weight in the face when they slim down and others don't.
I tend to belong to the former category.0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »mburgess458 wrote: »For the OP I'm not seeing the problem with the photos. You are 7 years older and you look a little older now. I certainly don't think you look more than 5-7 years older. Of course those aren't super close ups of the spots you think are problem areas.
A couple of years ago my sister lost a little too much weight and it made her look much older. I'm not sure if she gained a few pounds or if it just took time for her body/face to adjust but she looks better/younger now.
I am not sure what photos you are referring to.
I think you are talking about Karen's photos as I don't have any online other than one of my body in the profile (which is probably slightly more plump than I am at this moment).
In Karen's case, maybe you can see that she is just a little bit older now, but as you said, clearly NOT 7 years older.
Besides, she lost no weight in the face which I think helps tremendously. Some people lose a lot of weight in the face when they slim down and others don't.
I tend to belong to the former category.
Sorry, I skipped a bunch of posts and saw her photos in someone else's quote and didn't realize it wasn't you the OP.0 -
OP, as another person who's always been told she looks younger than her age but who still has a good few years to go, I can relate to your fears. One thing that struck me is that you said your face is your ace in the hole (I think that's what you said, anyway). Why? I'm sure you must have a personality, likes and dislikes and so on. Do you really HAVE to stay "very young"-looking forever? Don't people love you for things other than your face? I am sure they do. I think you need to develop more of a sense of self-worth. You are more than just your face.
I am saying this as a 47-year-old, BTW. I'm not just pizzing into the wind as a youngster or anything.
For some weird reason, I was devastated turning 30 because I "wasn't young any more" but 40 was way easier (???) and now I am really looking forward to 50! Something of it just smacks of "she's come into her own" to me. I don't know why, but maybe you can think of aging that way? It might be "me time" coming up. Haven't you always done for others? I have. My children are 20 years apart from oldest to youngest. I have done, done, done for everybody but me for nearly half a century. But at 50, my youngest will be 12, my middle will be 15 (though he has special needs and will always need to be cared for, he DOES have more and more self-help skills) and it might actually be "me time" at least to an extent. I am looking forward to being, hopefully, a fun, kitschy yet elegant "lady in her 50s." Every age is a stage; you can't avoid them, so why not just grab them by the horns and live them, whatever they bring?0 -
Even if you can slice yourself up to look 28 - the fact is, you'll still be 40. So much of how we look as we age comes from genetics, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, other than try to stay healthy, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't drink constantly, etc.
I think our society is so screwed up with the celebrity worship, and the media making us feel like if we look our age and have some extra weight on our bodies that we are somehow less important and should be ashamed of ourselves.
I also think that we are the most critical of ourselves - 99% of people that you come into contact with every day don't notice the things about your face that you do. Most people probably see your eyes, smile, hair, whatever.....they aren't analyzing every single little tiny wrinkle or spot.
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OP, as another person who's always been told she looks younger than her age but who still has a good few years to go, I can relate to your fears. One thing that struck me is that you said your face is your ace in the hole (I think that's what you said, anyway). Why? I'm sure you must have a personality, likes and dislikes and so on. Do you really HAVE to stay "very young"-looking forever? Don't people love you for things other than your face? I am sure they do. I think you need to develop more of a sense of self-worth. You are more than just your face.
I am saying this as a 47-year-old, BTW. I'm not just pizzing into the wind as a youngster or anything.
For some weird reason, I was devastated turning 30 because I "wasn't young any more" but 40 was way easier (???) and now I am really looking forward to 50! Something of it just smacks of "she's come into her own" to me. I don't know why, but maybe you can think of aging that way? It might be "me time" coming up. Haven't you always done for others? I have. My children are 20 years apart from oldest to youngest. I have done, done, done for everybody but me for nearly half a century. But at 50, my youngest will be 12, my middle will be 15 (though he has special needs and will always need to be cared for, he DOES have more and more self-help skills) and it might actually be "me time" at least to an extent. I am looking forward to being, hopefully, a fun, kitschy yet elegant "lady in her 50s." Every age is a stage; you can't avoid them, so why not just grab them by the horns and live them, whatever they bring?
Well...here's the deal, given all the alluding to my possibly being a bimbo who is now losing the ONLY thing she's ever been able to rely on (face) or just someone who doesn't get any "loooove".
Reality is in fact at the opposite end.
Yes, I have people who could not care less about how I look: starting with a wonderful husband who is not capable of cheating even if I brought women for him at home (just doesn't have it in him :-)); two children who adore me and believe "my squishy tummy is the best thing ever" :-); a sister I am very close to and great parents.
But, as I said before, all of us have unique psychological histories. All of us have unique motives to feel a certain way or react a certain way to various changes or pehnomena.
The above has zero to do with my sense of "self-worth". I am doing quite well in that department, sometimes my husband argues a little too well. :-)
Yes, as a former fat-ish teen-ager I had my share of complexes and self-esteem issues in my teens and early 20's. But that's long gone.
In my mid 20's I caught on, lost weight, discovered I was far from "unattractive" (some hinted "very far"), and that yes, my face was my biggest asset in the "physical traits" department - which doesn't mean "my biggest asset period".
So yes, people grow up, learn and acquire confidence. Nothing new here.
If I didn't feel quite secure with who I am, overall, do you think I would even bring up such issues on a weight loss/physical appearance forum?
People who have such issues are afraid to admit them even to themselves.
And yes, there are many, many other things about myself - whether personality, brains - all those intangibles, that go into who I am.
Of course I did not walk through life so far relying on my face as a cane. Jeez. In fact, I have been the opposite type.
The girl who always exceeded in school and built a life and an identity on academic excellence and never-ending years of graduate school. I work in higher ed, per profile. Not that this is a guarantee for "brains", but really, those who build a life in higher ed usually don't develop "bimbo" identities. They just don't.
Just check to see how the average woman in the average university looks like. You might need some eye protection at times.
So I have always been considered the "brainiac" in my family and I still remember the age when all girls flourished on cute looks, boyfriends, "cutie-pie" dresses and the like...and I was more something along the lines of Amy in the Big Bang Theory.
In such cases, there comes a time, later on, when such people feel like it would be nice to "make up "for all those "lost" years in the "frivolities" department. Why? Because it is darn fun.
It is fun to be young, look well, dress well and have dresses fit like a glove without having a "mature" face on top.
Some people never got to do that in their late teens and 20's, not even early 30's (when darn grad school and post-grad school related pressures continue) - and when their face was at their best.
Then came the kids and I am not even going to get into that, right?
So then you turn 40 - and finally, with all the acquired technique, confidence, nutritional and fitness knowledge and just plain experience and wisdom... you manage for the first time in your life to pull off what other people had naturally at much, much younger ages.
You'd better be sure someone like this will not be looking forward to embrace the "mature face" look too soon.
And there is another dimension that has NOTHING to do with looks, fashion and fun. It's pure existentialism.
I suffer from health anxiety, aerophobia and probably other things that ultimately boil down to fear of death.
Realizing you're aging is not exactly a "gentle" thing when you deal with these conditions.
So there: my self-esteem and sense of self-worth are super fine.
I simply have other "things" in my psychological make-up and personal history that prevent me from jumping up with joy when I see signs of "maturing" on the face.
And if I can help it, I will. Such as NOT losing any more weight.
Maintenance will be key from here on.
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Team_Hound wrote: »Even if you can slice yourself up to look 28 - the fact is, you'll still be 40. So much of how we look as we age comes from genetics, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, other than try to stay healthy, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't drink constantly, etc.
I think our society is so screwed up with the celebrity worship, and the media making us feel like if we look our age and have some extra weight on our bodies that we are somehow less important and should be ashamed of ourselves.
I also think that we are the most critical of ourselves - 99% of people that you come into contact with every day don't notice the things about your face that you do. Most people probably see your eyes, smile, hair, whatever.....they aren't analyzing every single little tiny wrinkle or spot.
Yes, I agree with all that. There is huge societal pressure to continue to look young, which includes adopting a youthful style - despite the fact that people STILL don't live that much longer. In fact, these younger generation are now expected to live less than those who came of age post-war.
The cosmetic and plastic surgery industries are now capable of turning butt-ugly people into almost gorgeous creatures (which is nice, up to a point) as well as keeping older humans looking much, much younger than they would have ever been able to look before.
Dressing style is also very youthful at very advanced ages even when the face is past ripe.
Look at the picture of the typical 25 yo in the 1940's and 1950's.
Forget about skin. Just look at the overall appearance. They all looked like mature, take-yourself-seriously matronesses.
Today, 50 yo-s and sometimes up are flying their long locks in the wind and swish their bodies left to right in a super sexual fashion. The new James Bond "girl" will be a 50 yo.
Everything in our modern society screams "stay young and sexual" even when you are not really anymore.
Pressures are there and no one is really able to ignore them and just be at peace looking like the take-yourself-seriously matron of the 1950's.
We are expected to "fly our locks in the wind" so to speak virtually forever; and we do - some more succesfuly than others.
All that is fine and dandy except that I would like to see the darn medical industry keep up with the superficialities promoted by the cosmetic and plastic surgery industries - who only give the illusion that people now live longer, younger.
How about coming up with that cure for cancer(s) to see some REAL progress in life expectancy too? 'Cause enough "marches", "runs" and "awareness whatevers" have been done with little result.
Maybe so that women won't go straight from "locks in the wind" to chemo and other disasters like this. That would be nice.
This can make me quite mad, in fact, so I will stop here before I go off the deep end.0 -
People say I look younger with my weight loss . . .0
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Er, I wasn't alluding that you're "a bimbo." You are the one focusing on this down to the minutae (skin resurfacing v. lines v. wrinkles v. who knows what else, it got repetitive, frankly) and you are the one stating your face was your one ace in the hole...I was answering (and others were answering) that...and trying to make you feel better. You're welcome?
Ah well. Carry on and hope you find happiness with this issue.0 -
Ah, huge societal pressure, my butt (IMO). I work hard, people love me, I make myself presentable when I go out...it seems pretty much all good, at least so far. There's huge societal pressure if you want it to be, and if you're making that your own focus...again, just IMO.
The way I see it is: it's not like I'm on my way to that big photo shoot that's going to bring bread to my table, if anyone wants to fault me for aging, well, I actually prefer aging to the alternative, which is, basically, being in the ground. It's all good if anyone wants to gasp at horror one day over my wrinkles. That person is free to do so and I'm free to chuckle. Because life is about so much more than this. 0 -
I'm 41 and personally would rather have a nice, fit body and deal with the crows feet and crepey eyes. I believe the lines add character to my face, especially the laugh lines. There's nothing wrong with going under the knife, but keep a healthy, minimal outlook on it...less really is better in most cases. I might change my outlook on this in 10 years, but right now I say embrace your face 0
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