After 40...what's with the choice between face and body?!!!
Replies
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wisdomfromyou wrote: »LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.
I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.
You're kidding me. I have them - I am already using really good stuff, some prescribed by dermatologist. On the surface, where skincare products can act, my skin is in perfect condition.
I read that the kind of things that bother me will NOT be solved by any cream no matter how "miraculous".
You can't solve volume loss, or sunken under-eye area, or bags/puffiness with those kind of things.
These things are all part of growing older...why are you afraid of that?
Because they suck and the bottom line is they make me look way less pretty than I was before, when I was fatter. :-(0 -
crazyjerseygirl wrote: »So a few notes
1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.
2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.
How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?
Agreed. The facial expressions are so different and the pics chosen may have been deliberate.
I have seen ppl who lost tons of weight drastically and yes they look aged and haggard but then there are those who lose weight the correct way ...a bit more slowly and they actually look more youthful.
I believe in aging gracefully. Of course I use my facial products - chemical peels, sunblock, vit C and A and it helps. Fine tune your skin regimen ..hydrate and eat those healthy fats within moderation.
I don't think you have to choose one over the other.
you're young, aren't you? ;p
Heck yeah. :-)0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.
As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.
Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
i agree with you.
the other option (if you're not genetically blessed) is to not care. but nothing wrong with caring, either.0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »Choice?
I... I don't understand.
Well...it turns out that after 40, when you lose weight, this also shows in your face and NOT in a good way. It ages you.
This depends on genetics, where you hold your weight and how well you have taken care of your skin your whole life.
I'm about your age and don't have the same issue that you do. On the other hand, I notice profile pictures here of people in their 30s and even 20s who are aging VERY poorly, so YMMV. I tend to think that maybe you should be thinking this through with your therapist before you go to a plastic surgeon. Unless you have a job where looks are important (actress, model) there isn't necessarily anything wrong with looking your age.
Oil cleansing really is a good technique. You can google it for instructions. You don't have to use a blend of special oils--plain olive oils works very well.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.
As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.
Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
No.
This is coming from someone older than you.
Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.
It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.
So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.
I don't think that's necessarily true. It can be hard to reconcile feeling young with looking old. I think aging gracefully means staying true to who you are and going after what you want, whether that's heavy lifting or face lifting.0 -
macgurlnet wrote: »
Without seeing how you look...I would say it would be worth maintaining your current weight and seeing if any of the skin perks up? I know they say it can take a year or two for skin to firm back up if it's going to and I'm assuming that's true for skin all over.
And as someone else mentioned - recomposition/bulking & cutting would be worth looking into as well. If you build up muscle and then lose the fat, you'll get that slimmer look you want eventually.
~Lyssa
Interesting...the skin can "firm back up"? Never heard of that.
As for recomposition/bulking etc ...this might work for the body but not for the face.
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Personally I'm 52 and I wouldn't say that being slim makes you look older but I would avoid being too overweight or underweight. Who really wants to be middle aged thinspo? I think what you want to avoid is the whole "social x-ray" look which Tom Wolfe coined in Bonfire of the Vanities to describe middle age very thin socialites. If you were a size 2 or 4 when you were younger you may find a size 6 or 8 is better at 40 or 50 but there is no need to be overweight in order to save you face. Unless, of course, you covet the "double chin" look
. As others have said, facials, cleansing oils etc. are great. 0 -
I have had the opposite happen. I now look much younger since I have lost weight, and I'm about your age (44) I have had several people comment on this. However, I started at obese and am currently a BMI of about 24, so near the high end of the healthy weight range. So I still have adequate fat reserves to keep my face looking good. But I do plan to lose a little more, and I am certain there is a point which would be too low and cause some of the issues you are talking about. That would be a sign to me that I should stop losing.
I love that quote, btw. I first saw it when I read that Catherine Deneuve once said that at a certain age you need to choose between your face and your *kitten*!
If you try to get "too" thin...or stay very thin...the natural wrinkles that we ALL get as we age will be more apparent. Losing weight does not cause this...it just reveals more of what is already there. Just losing weight should not make you look older...unless you are trying to get too low. I think the only possibility of this happening for me is if I want to lose some stubborn pocket of fat somewhere after I am already at the "right" weight... one that is healthy, I feel good at, and look very good even if not perfect at. In that case, trying to get rid of some tiny amount of thigh or upper arm fat could come at a cost that I wouldn't be willing to pay.
I have no idea what you weigh, but if you want to lose more because you think it would improve health then you should. However, if you feel you are at a healthy weight and just don't like a specific problem area...perhaps a better strategy would be to maintain and focus more effort with weight training on the one or two things you don't like.
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mamapeach910 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.
As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.
Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
No.
This is coming from someone older than you.
Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.
It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.
So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.
I don't think that's necessarily true. It can be hard to reconcile feeling young with looking old. I think aging gracefully means staying true to who you are and going after what you want, whether that's heavy lifting or face lifting.
seriously. "natural" =/= "better". and screw being "graceful". there's enough policing of women's experience to get on us for wanting to look good, too.
there is a ton of judgement waiting for women once they hit a certain age. truth is, looking young/old can make a difference in terms of actual life options (re age discrimination etc). i'm not going to judge anyone who wants to do whatever they want to do.0 -
Maybe you should stop hanging on to something someone said when you were 28 and go run or lift something heavy...The endorphins are awesome and makes you feel 30 years younger, despite being red faced and sweaty!
I HAVE been running and will actually stop doing it so often because it DOES affect the face in a negative way.
I AM doing weights.
Feeling young is one thing, looking it is another.
Let me know how it goes when you feel awesome and energized one day, after plenty of sleep, water and everything nutritiously religious, and then you meet someone who tells you" are you OK? you look kind of tired".
So I don't think so.
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Don't stress over it too much....wear lots sunblock & brimmed hats in the sun & sunglasses too. Take a look at your aunts, mom, grandma...that will give you an idea. If that makes you running scared to the hills, then rethink the stressing. lol0
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I dont know how true that is... I think genetics plays a role in it also. I'll be 45 this summer (and yes thats me in my profile pic) and I think I look pretty good face-wise for a 45 year old woman.0
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Hey! I resemble these remarks! I'm in my mid-fifties, lost ninety pounds, and my profile picture is daughter-approved. I've got sagging and wrinkles because, guess what? It happens. I still say I look younger and healthier than when I was overweight. Trying to keep that youthful face, IMO, is a losing proposition. Time does catch up regardless.0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.
As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.
Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
No.
This is coming from someone older than you.
Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.
It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.
So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.
I don't think that's necessarily true. It can be hard to reconcile feeling young with looking old. I think aging gracefully means staying true to who you are and going after what you want, whether that's heavy lifting or face lifting.
Oh, I agree that face lifting is a viable choice for anyone who wants it.
Go for it.
Just... to complain about it ahead of time? What's the point?
It's the complaining that's not graceful.
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I was thinking maybe since you've been in a calorie deficit, you may not have been getting adequate nutrition (especially Vitamin A, C, E, and healthy fats). Just an idea, but make sure your nutrition game is up to par, and drink a lot of water and moisturize.0
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MoiAussi93 wrote: »I have had the opposite happen. I now look much younger since I have lost weight, and I'm about your age (44) I have had several people comment on this. However, I started at obese and am currently a BMI of about 24, so near the high end of the healthy weight range. So I still have adequate fat reserves to keep my face looking good. But I do plan to lose a little more, and I am certain there is a point which would be too low and cause some of the issues you are talking about. That would be a sign to me that I should stop losing.
I love that quote, btw. I first saw it when I read that Catherine Deneuve once said that at a certain age you need to choose between your face and your *kitten*!
If you try to get "too" thin...or stay very thin...the natural wrinkles that we ALL get as we age will be more apparent. Losing weight does not cause this...it just reveals more of what is already there. Just losing weight should not make you look older...unless you are trying to get too low. I think the only possibility of this happening for me is if I want to lose some stubborn pocket of fat somewhere after I am already at the "right" weight... one that is healthy, I feel good at, and look very good even if not perfect at. In that case, trying to get rid of some tiny amount of thigh or upper arm fat could come at a cost that I wouldn't be willing to pay.
I have no idea what you weigh, but if you want to lose more because you think it would improve health then you should. However, if you feel you are at a healthy weight and just don't like a specific problem area...perhaps a better strategy would be to maintain and focus more effort with weight training on the one or two things you don't like.
I am 5'7" and 153 lbs. BMI of 24. Upper range of normal weight.
but I still feel like my face is starting to suffer.
It may also be true that I may have a bit of "high standards" in the face department.
I have no wrinkles and in fact my skin is very luminous and in great shape overall.
My dermatologist always compliments me on my skin when she sees me.
It's just the stuff under my eyes (puffiness and some bags) and the recent loss of volume in the cheeks that bother me.
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I second a good cream. One of the plastic surgeons I knew from the hospital my husband did his residency at posted an article about great skin firming/anti wrinkle creams containing retinol. She said she likes Roc for over the counter, and Skin Media Retinol Complex for professional strength.0
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auroranflash wrote: »I was thinking maybe since you've been in a calorie deficit, you may not have been getting adequate nutrition (especially Vitamin A, C, E, and healthy fats). Just an idea, but make sure your nutrition game is up to par, and drink a lot of water and moisturize.
That's what I was thinking.
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I don't think that's necessarily true. It can be hard to reconcile feeling young with looking old. I think aging gracefully means staying true to who you are and going after what you want, whether that's heavy lifting or face lifting.
seriously. "natural" =/= "better". and screw being "graceful". there's enough policing of women's experience to get on us for wanting to look good, too.
there is a ton of judgement waiting for women once they hit a certain age. truth is, looking young/old can make a difference in terms of actual life options (re age discrimination etc). i'm not going to judge anyone who wants to do whatever they want to do.[/quote]
Oh, gosh , I couldn't care less about "judgements".
And my goodness - how about teeth whitening and straightening?
This is just as much "plastic intervention" as anything else...and people do it without blinking an eye.
If plastic surgery was:
- 100% guaranteed to come out perfectly natural.
- 100% guaranteed to NOT end up in some tragedy such as dying under anesthesia (zero risk of serious health problems or death)
- affordable
I would do it every month and enjoy every minute of youthful looks. I could not care less that those looks are not the result of aging perfectly gracefully due to phenomenal genetics.
In fact, I can't complain about genetics because both of my parents look younger and most people tell me I look younger than my age - so genetics are oK.
But even the greatest genetics won't save you from certain changes at a certain age.
Thing is my hypochondria is stronger than my vanity - hence no plastic surgery for me as I am afraid I would go under that plastic surgeon's knife as punishment for my vanity.
A bit of filler or laser?
Maybe...but need to read more on risks.0 -
allaboutthecake wrote: »Don't stress over it too much....wear lots sunblock & brimmed hats in the sun & sunglasses too. Take a look at your aunts, mom, grandma...that will give you an idea. If that makes you running scared to the hills, then rethink the stressing. lol
I am already doing all that.
My mom has always looked young for her age - but has also been fat/round since the age of 35 or so.0 -
I think exercise will improve your features naturally. It did for me.
Oh, years ago I was sitting in a meeting with a long-standing colleague and she smiled. Her entire face erupted in a roadmap of wrinkles, and I was inwardly appalled. I had a good think about it. She had accelerated her ageing through lifestyle (smoking and tanning) but her road was the same one I would be travelling one day. Can I be lovely and wrinkled too? I've had a decade to get used to the idea and I'm embracing it.
The alternative is to try and turn back the hands of time, and I suspect that is a never-ending search for a perfection long gone.0 -
wisdomfromyou wrote: »
I don't think that's necessarily true. It can be hard to reconcile feeling young with looking old. I think aging gracefully means staying true to who you are and going after what you want, whether that's heavy lifting or face lifting.
seriously. "natural" =/= "better". and screw being "graceful". there's enough policing of women's experience to get on us for wanting to look good, too.
there is a ton of judgement waiting for women once they hit a certain age. truth is, looking young/old can make a difference in terms of actual life options (re age discrimination etc). i'm not going to judge anyone who wants to do whatever they want to do.
Oh, gosh , I couldn't care less about "judgements".
And my goodness - how about teeth whitening and straightening?
This is just as much "plastic intervention" as anything else...and people do it without blinking an eye.
If plastic surgery was:
- 100% guaranteed to come out perfectly natural.
- 100% guaranteed to NOT end up in some tragedy such as dying under anesthesia (zero risk of serious health problems or death)
- affordable
I would do it every month and enjoy every minute of youthful looks. I could not care less that those looks are not the result of aging perfectly gracefully due to phenomenal genetics.
In fact, I can't complain about genetics because both of my parents look younger and most people tell me I look younger than my age - so genetics are oK.
But even the greatest genetics won't save you from certain changes at a certain age.
Thing is my hypochondria is stronger than my vanity - hence no plastic surgery for me as I am afraid I would go under that plastic surgeon's knife as punishment for my vanity.
A bit of filler or laser?
Maybe...but need to read more on risks.
yeah, i myself probably would not do surgery for similar reasons. that result, for good or bad, is permanent. fillers on the other hand, sure.0 -
strong_curves wrote: »I dont know how true that is... I think genetics plays a role in it also. I'll be 45 this summer (and yes thats me in my profile pic) and I think I look pretty good face-wise for a 45 year old woman.
You loom so pretty, strong_curves.
Then again, I may be wrong here ...and some may even accuse me of "racial stereotyping" but I've always thought that people with dark skin age phenomenally well, on average.
I pretty much got in the habit of adding 10 years or so when trying to guess the age of an African-American and/or Asian person.
With us whites, you get more variation.
From those who age horribly to those who age really well.
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My family members and I are small and slim and fit and we all look young for our ages. But, when the time comes that I age, I am still going to be happy and live my life. That's just my personal choice. Everyone can choose what they want. Maintaining health, youthfulness, beauty in whatever ways I want is fine. But, being happy and enjoying life is most important. Being good at what you do will get you further than preventing some inevitable aspects of aging.0
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I second a good cream. One of the plastic surgeons I knew from the hospital my husband did his residency at posted an article about great skin firming/anti wrinkle creams containing retinol. She said she likes Roc for over the counter, and Skin Media Retinol Complex for professional strength.
I am using a good Retinol serum from dermatologist's office.
It does work beautifully for evening out the skin's surface TEXTURE.
With this I am 100% pleased.
It won't do anything though for the issues I mentioned earlier.0 -
I have been going through quite a dramatic weightloss journey, I too always thought of my face as an asset. My body has come through and along but after children well it is a work in progress. I have found that not smoking and not wearing a lot of make up has kept my skin pretty nice in the face however with the weight still coming off Im already noticing a droop on one eye and I too have considered plastics after the journey. What I decided was this.... I'm trying to be my healthiest self, I'm trying to lose weight but more importantly be healthier, smaller, stronger and more fit. In doing all the right food and weight training I will get to that goal. I also try to take care of my skin now and I feel better with almost no make up my skin looks nicer and less aged. I eat better and drink the water everyone talked all my life. One day I don't drink my water and I see noticeable dark bags under my eyes and I look old and tired. So at the end of this journey I know I will most likely need some work on my stomach and or breasts and if for some reason my face at that time is not what I need to feel my best then I would add it to the list. I'm 42 and feeling more determined and healthy than ever before. I want to be the best me and if that includes any kind of repair work to feel that way then by all means I will do it and I would say the same to you. Get healthy and then get real. If you need work to feel better then get it...but get healthy first its not a choice in my book. Good Luck on your journey!0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »wisdomfromyou wrote: »So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.
*which - SCREW THAT lol
Doesn't look like it.
Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.
As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.
Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.
No.
This is coming from someone older than you.
Aging gracefully means accepting what comes your way and changing what you can. Do recomp. Be a basa$$.
It doesn't mean looking like a cover model when you're 70.
So here's my advice... AGE GRACEFULLY.
Yeah, this. I'm 45 and think I look much younger now that I've lost 20 pounds. I have a nice jawline again, not jowls.
I don't think the "too thin for your age" thing kicks in until you get to that pinched, ultra-skinny socialite look...and those ladies have plastic surgery galore.
And, I will still disagree that good creams don't make a difference. I still break out at oil cleansing, but I have a friend who swears by it. And, under my eyes, now that I found something lighter than concealers and foundation? No more crepey look.
But, you seem hell bent on surgery. Do you want the OK or to be talked out of it. Because, if you really do have some medical anxiety? I can talk you out of it in like 3 links.0 -
I think exercise will improve your features naturally. It did for me.
Oh, years ago I was sitting in a meeting with a long-standing colleague and she smiled. Her entire face erupted in a roadmap of wrinkles, and I was inwardly appalled. I had a good think about it. She had accelerated her ageing through lifestyle (smoking and tanning) but her road was the same one I would be travelling one day. Can I be lovely and wrinkled too? I've had a decade to get used to the idea and I'm embracing it.
The alternative is to try and turn back the hands of time, and I suspect that is a never-ending search for a perfection long gone.
I am not sure why people keep talking about wrinkles - when wrinkles are the least offender when it comes to showing age.
I have seen young people looking super youthful and who make A LOT of wrinkles on the face when they smile and even when they don't.
Some people naturally create a lot of expression lines which will bring more permanent wrinkles as they age - but that is NOT what;s going to make them look old.
The loss of volume in the face, the slightly withery appearance of the skin and under eye changes in skin texture, including bags, are the true marks of looking old.
Wrinkles? Not at all.
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I understand...we're in similar circumstances regarding weight. And I understand your focus on this...my face has always been my favorite part of me as well.wisdomfromyou wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »I have had the opposite happen. I now look much younger since I have lost weight, and I'm about your age (44) I have had several people comment on this. However, I started at obese and am currently a BMI of about 24, so near the high end of the healthy weight range. So I still have adequate fat reserves to keep my face looking good. But I do plan to lose a little more, and I am certain there is a point which would be too low and cause some of the issues you are talking about. That would be a sign to me that I should stop losing.
I love that quote, btw. I first saw it when I read that Catherine Deneuve once said that at a certain age you need to choose between your face and your *kitten*!
If you try to get "too" thin...or stay very thin...the natural wrinkles that we ALL get as we age will be more apparent. Losing weight does not cause this...it just reveals more of what is already there. Just losing weight should not make you look older...unless you are trying to get too low. I think the only possibility of this happening for me is if I want to lose some stubborn pocket of fat somewhere after I am already at the "right" weight... one that is healthy, I feel good at, and look very good even if not perfect at. In that case, trying to get rid of some tiny amount of thigh or upper arm fat could come at a cost that I wouldn't be willing to pay.
I have no idea what you weigh, but if you want to lose more because you think it would improve health then you should. However, if you feel you are at a healthy weight and just don't like a specific problem area...perhaps a better strategy would be to maintain and focus more effort with weight training on the one or two things you don't like.
I am 5'7" and 153 lbs. BMI of 24. Upper range of normal weight.
but I still feel like my face is starting to suffer.
It may also be true that I may have a bit of "high standards" in the face department.
I have no wrinkles and in fact my skin is very luminous and in great shape overall.
My dermatologist always compliments me on my skin when she sees me.
It's just the stuff under my eyes (puffiness and some bags) and the recent loss of volume in the cheeks that bother me.
Two things: perhaps a weight training focus would help get you the body you want without actually losing more fat. You are at a healthy weight, so don't "need" to lose more. You have the luxury of now being able to make these choices based purely on aesthetics instead of "having" to lose for health reasons. I don't know much about the often talked about "recomp", but it seems to me we are both at the weight range that makes that a viable option. Weight training may convince your body to get rid of the remaining fat in the places you don't want it and leave the rest where it is. No guarantees, but it can't hurt.
Also, give your skin a little time to respond. I noticed a while back that at various points one part or another of my body was looking a little saggy. Those parts look much better now. I have lost a lot of weight, and my body seemed to like to pick specific areas to take it from for a couple of months before switching to some other area. Once the parts that recently lost had time to "recover", they looked much better. It is quite likely that you very recently lost the fat from your face, in which case in a few months the skin may respond.
You're doing all the right skin care things. So while it never hurts to explore options in terms of fillers, etc., I would give it a little time because it may not be necessary.
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