After 40...what's with the choice between face and body?!!!

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wisdomfromyou
wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Well...between some hypochondria episodes and just changing eating habits over the past two years, my weight loss journey has been going quite well.

In the process I discovered I must have a pretty darn good metabolism since I used to eat industrial quantities of food and had only become overweight, never obese; and once I started eating right and some exercise, the weight came off quite easily. It has always been like this.

Even now at 42 I realized I have no problems losing weight as long as I don't binge.

All this is great...except - hmm...someone has recently showed me how to take "selfies".
I had never done that (both the name and the concept are kind of annoying to me) plus I just haven't had that many pictures of myself in the past year or so. I mainly photograph the kids.

So I recently took a series of selfies and I was terrified to admit I am starting to think of the services of a plastic surgeon for the first time in my life. I did some frantic Googling on weight loss and "face loss"...and it looks like it's a real issue. Apparently, women after 40 kind of have to choose between body and face ...or choose "body+ plastic surgeon".

Do I look like I lost weight compared to older pics? Sure.

The weight loss seems to have made my face look "finer", more "delicate"...but guess what? Also older.
And that really...REALLY pushed my buttons. My mom has always had youthful, plumpy skin but that's because she's always been overweight, even obese at times.

I thought I wanted to lose just a few more pounds maybe 5-7, to get rid of that last bit of fat on stomach, hips etc; but when I saw my selfies I realized it's time for a halt with the weight loss if that means losing my face to a "finer"/"more sophisticated yet "older" look.

I had never had a great body but I always felt my face was a bit of an asset.
Nothing breath-taking but I'd always felt my face was "pretty". I was easily able to accept deficits in the body department (which I had since the age of 14)...but in the face? I find it really hard as this was my trick in the "one trick pony".

For the first time ever I see pronounced bags and a bit of loose, crepey skin under my eyes, loss of volume in the cheeks...darn signs of aging.
And I had NONE of that until less than a year ago.

You may argue "well...time has just passed...what do you expect?".
But these signs kicked in very abruptly, literally overnight; so it makes me think it's not just natural aging but a lot must have to do with the weight loss coupled with the panic episodes over fear of illness that lasted for a few months (huge stress).

So what do I do now? Go to the plastic surgeon for "little adjustments? Put some weight back on to get back some plumpy contour in the face? Live with it and accept that lower weight is better for health even if that means a less than perfectly plumpy, bursting-with-collagen/fat, youthful face?

Look at this article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1382603/Face-facts-Losing-weight-age-thank-Nigella-standing-upholstered.html

My goodness!

What's the solution? Any input appreciated.

...


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Replies

  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I don't believe that gaining weight is going to restore that lost collagen under your eyes. Sorry - it may work in the cheeks but under the eyes, I'm pretty sure that some filler or an eye lift are your choices. Note how your link (to the LAST place you should get any kind of advice from, btw) doesn't have any shots of people who gained weight and lost wrinkles?
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
    edited April 2015
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    So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?
    Oh...and is that a bad news source from the Brits? I don't know their newspapers very well.

    I mean, I know that lower weight means better health, period.
    And given the huge hypochondriac I am, perhaps I should just ignore the vanity and move on, loose skin or not under my eyes.
    But it's hard.

    I am starting to understand how painful aging must be for those super gorgeous women whose beauty was their MAIN AND ONLY asset in life. That one thing that takes care of you, makes your life smooth, easy, lively and happy...that one thing you see it going away. It must suck.

    I have never been a super-gorgeous woman but I felt I had a pretty face, especially in contrast with my problematic body since the age of 14: very full thighs with tons of cellulite, small shoulders, pear-shaped, with an overall inability to make clothes look good.
    When you never had something, you can't miss it. My cellulite is still on my thighs, just as it was when I was 14... and I couldn't care less.

    But the face?...

    Arrghhhh.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    edited April 2015
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    This is my target.
    okinawan-centenarian.jpg

    http://biohackme.net/centenarian-people-living-beyond-100-years/
  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
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    LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

    I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

    Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




    *which - SCREW THAT lol

  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
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    So a few notes

    1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

    2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

    How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?
  • SillyCat1975
    SillyCat1975 Posts: 328 Member
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    We all age like fine wine :wink:
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

    I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

    Seconding the advice to try oil washing! It's da bomb!

    A lot of what's going to happen is genetic. Sorry.

    I am lucky. I'm 52 and really don't have any wrinkles. There is the very faintest hint of crepe under my eyes. You have to be right up in my face to see it.

    To date, I've lost 31 pounds. With that loss, I can see where I've lost collagen, though. There will be creasing. There will be some sagging.

    Oh well. I also have autoimmune arthritis and degenerative disc disease. My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 90 pounds. 1/3 of the way there. I'll take a face with a few creases and less load on my joints for the next however many years I have left.

    Everything's a trade-off.

    My health matters. My face doesn't.

    Big picture, here.

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    My weight loss has probably gained me ten years longevity, if not more. With the added energy I look younger. My cheeks pink up. I have a sparkle in my eye. I don't see the pursuit of health to be an either-or proposition. I will never be that uncertain young woman again. Don't want to be.
  • Ideabaker
    Ideabaker Posts: 508 Member
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    Losing weight in the face, often making the face look far older than it did before, is a real "thing" for some of us. I posted a similar question some time ago:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1115644/your-rear-end-or-your-face

    and after careful consideration, I did choose to amend my original goal weight to allow a bit more fat in my face. Am doing more strength training to firm up and sculpt my body rather than simply losing fat-- which was aging my face prematurely!

    Before you run to the PS, try looking at recomping instead of just losing.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Selfies are weird because of twisting into weird angles with the camera right in front of your face (Bad lighting also). How do you look in the mirror or in a regular photo. Try drinking more water, eat a well balanced diet, eat enough protein, veggies and fruit, wear sunscreen. Exercise is great for youthfulness. Lifting weights. Be slim and fit, but not hung up on perfectionism. Choose what works for you and be realistic. I am 37, and haven't had this issue yet.
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
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    herrspoons wrote: »
    Choice?

    I... I don't understand.

    Well...it turns out that after 40, when you lose weight, this also shows in your face and NOT in a good way. It ages you.

    You lose volume in the face (all that fat you can't wait to see off your body was actually helping your face stay up); skin becomes more flax, features become sharper - but not in that "chiseled-due-to-nice-bone structure" kind of way.
    Sharp as in "harsh" or "gaunt". The contour of your face starts acquiring small hills and valleys from collagen break-down...which otherwise fat was keeping up.

    Believe me...there's a certain choice you must make after 40, between keeping a youthful face as well as some weight and continuing to lose weight and looking gaunt.

    I wanted to lose some extra pounds for an even leaner body but now F it, I am stopping.
    I will increase my calories for maintenance because one more lb off and I am starting to look in a way that I DON'T want.


  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    I'm going for healthy and alive. Age happens.
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
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    BFDeal wrote: »
    So like a "but-her-face?" I hear ya. I suppose maybe a paper bag would work too. YMMV. I'm not sure.

    Good point - says the hypochondriac in me who wants to live to 150. :-)
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    I prefer a healthy heart, strong bones and joints and muscles that can lift heavy things and move furniture...Also no diabetes, high bp or other overweight/obesity diseases to a plump youthful face...I earned the lines on mt 46 year old face......
  • maasha81
    maasha81 Posts: 733 Member
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    crazyjerseygirl wrote: »
    So a few notes

    1: every pic in there had smiling well lit plump person vs. Harshly lit scowling slim person.

    2: loosing weight takes time, what are the differences in years between those photos.

    How long have you been overweight? Are you sure this isn't how you would have looked slim if you had never gained?

    Agreed. The facial expressions are so different and the pics chosen may have been deliberate.

    I have seen ppl who lost tons of weight drastically and yes they look aged and haggard but then there are those who lose weight the correct way ...a bit more slowly and they actually look more youthful.

    I believe in aging gracefully. Of course I use my facial products - chemical peels, sunblock, vit C and A and it helps. Fine tune your skin regimen ..hydrate and eat those healthy fats within moderation.

    I don't think you have to choose one over the other.
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

    I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

    You're kidding me. I have them - I am already using really good stuff, some prescribed by dermatologist. On the surface, where skincare products can act, my skin is in perfect condition.

    I read that the kind of things that bother me will NOT be solved by any cream no matter how "miraculous".
    You can't solve volume loss, or sunken under-eye area, or bags/puffiness with those kind of things.
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    LOL, I'd try some less-drastic things first. Invest in some really good cleansers and face creams. Try oil washing. Get a GOOD makeup tutorial. Then, if you still aren't happy, consider injectables like Botox or fillers, or perhaps some peels.

    I'd put the knife as a LAST RESORT.

    You're kidding me. I have them - I am already using really good stuff, some prescribed by dermatologist. On the surface, where skincare products can act, my skin is in perfect condition.

    I read that the kind of things that bother me will NOT be solved by any cream no matter how "miraculous".
    You can't solve volume loss, or sunken under-eye area, or bags/puffiness with those kind of things.

    These things are all part of growing older...why are you afraid of that?
  • wisdomfromyou
    wisdomfromyou Posts: 198 Member
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    sofaking6 wrote: »
    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    So you're saying ...run, don't walk, to the plastic surgeon's office, correct?

    Only if you can't handle aging gracefully*.




    *which - SCREW THAT lol

    Doesn't look like it.
    Note how the advice to consider "aging gracefully" usually comes from the 40 yo-s and below.
    In today's society "aging gracefully" is almost a joke.

    As someone said somewhere on the net, there's nothing "graceful" about pronounced under eye bags or a face that looks like it's flowing down in rivers.
    Note that women who have "aged gracefully" have also preserved (somehow, due to genetics or very discreet and well performed interventions) a pretty "put together" face.

    Unfortunately, I think that people who have experienced significant weight fluctuations in their life need some "help" in the "aging gracefully" department.

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