You aren't always going to get support
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Wow! I must be amazingly luck to have the friends, family, support that I get.
If you have people in your life who "don't care" or are actively trying to sabotage your goals it might be a good idea to dumb their *kitten*. Why waist your time and energy on people like that? There are lots of amazing humans on this planets who are actually worth knowing and want to be in your life.
This thread reads like an ad for a personal trainer. All the reasons you NEED to pay for support. Ha!0 -
f1exanimous wrote: »Wow! I must be amazingly luck to have the friends, family, support that I get.
If you have people in your life who "don't care" or are actively trying to sabotage your goals it might be a good idea to dumb their *kitten*. Why waist your time and energy on people like that? There are lots of amazing humans on this planets who are actually worth knowing and want to be in your life.
This thread reads like an ad for a personal trainer. All the reasons you NEED to pay for support. Ha!
Mmm, no it's just that people are busy- they may not notice, and even if they do notice, they might not remember to say anything. And then (as seen in this thread) there are a lot of *kitten* out there too. A LOT. At the end of the day the only person really invested in your health is you. The nice people (and mean people) can't be your motivation.0 -
I have a lot of friends that I have met through Zumba and other dance fitness. I have lots of positive/supportive acquaintances that I've met this way too. It sometimes becomes a community.
My first Zumba instructor has become one of my best friends over the years. He no longer teaches and we've both moved to different cities, but we stay in touch and sometimes travel together. A year ago, we went to a salsa congress together and had a blast.
I like that someone has pointed out the distinction between wanting support and EXPECTING it. The other thing is that you are going to have to BE supportive of others if you want to get that back in the long run. It can take a while to find your new (healthy) people...but if you are open and helpful, it will happen.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »None of them really care. I try not to talk to my hubby about weight loss/exercise at all, and God forbid i bring up the 3 words he hates most of all.... My Fitness Pal
Hahahaha.....so true!0 -
Even though after losing 20 pounds, I am still 40 pounds overweight. Yet people think I am at least 10 or 15 years below my actual age. Can't wait until I lose ALL my weight! Of course, I might have a lot of wrinkles once I do that.0
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Note To Members
This thread has been cleaned up of guideline breaching replies(attacking, flame-baiting and derailing to name a few), I would very much like to think that the thread could continue without any repeats of the previous direction it seems to have taken.
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With respect,
Adam, MyFitnessPal Moderator1 -
My husband is the opposite of supportive and I blamed his discouragement for my failure in the past. Honestly he's still discouraging (on top of now competing with me for most weight loss) but now I just don't care. Hahaaaa.1
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Many times. You learn new things and sometimes you need the push.
Lots of people who take the same classes, usually end up being "gym buddies" and even go out together outside of the gym. Not uncommon for lots of gyms classes to have this.
Support is great if you get it. What I usually find is that support is more prevalent with people who do the same things you do. For example, if one does Zumba, the whole class seems supportive. You don't get the same support from people who do BodyPump (not saying you won't get any at all) because the training style is different and people want others to gravitate to their way of training not something else.elisa123gal wrote: »i totally understand the common sense - that a person should do this all on their own. But if you have support? Life is so much easier. In all struggles in life, it is amazing what just a little support can do to uplift a person who is trying to get out of a bad situation.
The truth is, most people are not supportive..or we fail to make that quality a priority in the people we surround ourselves with....so we're stuck going it alone. I think MFP is that support many of us lack..
I don't know if this is an analogy, but as someone who's taken both classes - it's just a class. If we took the same classes we would physically be in the room at the same time but that's about it. Ultimately training you do or the class you attend is just a preference and people gravitate to different classes for any number of reasons. Finally, in my gym, anyway, the primarily "RPM girl" might randomly show up to take a BodyPump or BodyAttack class. I can't really think of any need to do the same things in order to give or receive support. Just move!
Just to clarify, if someone takes Zumba and they speak to others who take Zumba, the conversations are "wow great class, we should all warm up together and blah, blah, blah" where if you had a BodyPump class member say "hey I take Bodypump, you should come take it" the Zumba person might be, "hey that's a nice class" but really is thinking "not as good as Zumba though".
I agree with you, a class is just a class. But only a handful of people will take several classes, while some gym members only take 1 or 2 at most. And usually it's those classes where they get their most support outside of any from people close to them.
Hmm, interesting. Have you ever regularly been a participant in an instructor led class?
Heh, true. One thing for me I guess is that support doesn't necessarily mean being joined at the hip. Again, Some of what is being described seems more like friendship to me, which sounds pretty freakin amazing. When I think of support especially with fellow gym goers/class takers, I'm thinking a kind word to the person you see often that smiles at you and says hello and doesn't yet know many people at the gym. Or during some quick conversations to let the other person know that you experience the same challenges they do, and it's normal. Or if you mention that you've missed someone you haven't seen in a while and inquire of their well being. That sort of thing. We wouldn't necessarily need to be in the same classes to do that, though it helps. For me, anyway1 -
The only thing that frustrates me, is when people make remarks like "you don't need to lose weight" when clearly I do. Its almost like they want you to just give up on it whenever you mention weight loss success!!1
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for me at the beggining refering to my closer circle no one cares at all... but lately id expirience some support words and it feel good, feels like a kind of victory.
when i feel down and dismotivated, i go to instagram... check #myfitnesspal hastag and i find motivation again... i know... its so simple but it work for me like a charm
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Call me a baby, but I LIKE getting the support, I like when people acknowledge what I have accomplished. I don't think as an adult asking for help is wrong, if I need it, I will ask for it. I don't like the scrunched up nose and pursed lips when my weight is yo-yoing, but that's part and parcel of the game.
I'm not going to apologize that I look to others at times for motivation when I can't drum it up in myself. Life is a circle. I have had others tell me that watching me through my journey motivated them to start theirs. In the same vein, watching others through their journey motivate me to continue mine, no matter how many times I have quit or stopped.4 -
transparentenigma wrote: »Call me a baby, but I LIKE getting the support, I like when people acknowledge what I have accomplished. I don't think as an adult asking for help is wrong, if I need it, I will ask for it. I don't like the scrunched up nose and pursed lips when my weight is yo-yoing, but that's part and parcel of the game.
I'm not going to apologize that I look to others at times for motivation when I can't drum it up in myself. Life is a circle. I have had others tell me that watching me through my journey motivated them to start theirs. In the same vein, watching others through their journey motivate me to continue mine, no matter how many times I have quit or stopped.
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I'm not thinking of any post in particular… but it seems to me that when people complain of having no support… what is really happening is that the support they are getting doesn't look like they think it should.
I have a sister who has said more than once that people who workout are selfish people who are more concerned with how they look than they are about others. I have been told that a) I take things too far (by weighing and measuring my food) that b) I'm not doing this the healthy way (because I still choose to eat carbs and because I was eating about 1300 calories.) that c) it's obviously not that important to me (because I still choose to eat carbs) that d) what I'm doing is not sustainable long term (because I choose to count calories AND workout). I get asked when I'm going to be fun again (because I chose apples for a snack).
I could believe I have no support since nobody in my family follows my same eating plan. And they make brownies on a regular basis (which they never did before) and offer me some. I could believe I have no support since nobody will workout with me. Or will even encourage me to do so. I could believe I have no support because of all those things I just told about in the previous paragraph.
But I also get told "You're amazing." "You look great." "I admire you."
The same sister who tells me that people who workout are selfish also bought me a HRM for Christmas. And an armband to carry my phone when I workout. And gift cards for places where I could buy clothes since I've been shrinking out of mine.
There may a few legitimate cases where they really have no support. Where their family/friends actually do shun them or make fun of them. And may actually try to sabotage them. But I would dare say that in the majority of cases, they are just not getting support in the way they thought it would look like or from the people they thought it should come from.
Either way… I also agree with the original point when it comes down to it… it's all on you whether or not you are going to lose weight. You are an adult. Take responsibility for yourself. Support is great. It is. But it's not necessary.6 -
More than likely they don't expect any change to happen. At that point, I believe it's more an issue of discussion with a psychologist or therapist.
I still believe it is, but what motivates one (say money prize) won't motivate another. That other may look at ego as the motivating factor (made a bet to reach a goal). But it's going to differ from person to person. One of my clients motivations was to get off meds. Another was to put it in the face of her ex husband.Karen_libert wrote: »I find that people look to me for motivation because they can see my determination and they want it to wear off on them. They ask me how I'm doing it but I don't know what it is or how to explain it. They have to find it for themselves. Its inside everyone but they have to find it for themselves just like I did
I used to think so, but not anymore. For whatever reason, determination is something that varies hugely between individuals.
I agree that different people motivate in different ways, for different things. I've also come to believe that there are people who simply aren't going to be highly motivated by anything or for anything. I don't understand why this would be, but I don't have much doubt that it is real.
I base this on having seen one too many people in literally life and death situations who simply give up without much of a fight.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I take offense to the remark because many of clients don't need support, but acknowledge assistance because of lack of knowledge on how to exercise correctly. When they get results, they feel what they've paid is worthwhile.f1exanimous wrote: »Wow! I must be amazingly luck to have the friends, family, support that I get.
If you have people in your life who "don't care" or are actively trying to sabotage your goals it might be a good idea to dumb their *kitten*. Why waist your time and energy on people like that? There are lots of amazing humans on this planets who are actually worth knowing and want to be in your life.
This thread reads like an ad for a personal trainer. All the reasons you NEED to pay for support. Ha!
You're fortunate to have a life of candy corn and rainbows, but believe it or not it's kinda hard to just disregard your whole family just because your interest isn't theirs.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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It's never a bad thing to look for support. My point was that there are lots of people out there who EXPECT support from the people closest to them and lots of times it's not gonna happen. Not because they don't care about you as a person, but more than likely because like you, they have things going on in their own lives that need their attention.transparentenigma wrote: »Call me a baby, but I LIKE getting the support, I like when people acknowledge what I have accomplished. I don't think as an adult asking for help is wrong, if I need it, I will ask for it. I don't like the scrunched up nose and pursed lips when my weight is yo-yoing, but that's part and parcel of the game.
I'm not going to apologize that I look to others at times for motivation when I can't drum it up in myself. Life is a circle. I have had others tell me that watching me through my journey motivated them to start theirs. In the same vein, watching others through their journey motivate me to continue mine, no matter how many times I have quit or stopped.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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It's never a bad thing to look for support. My point was that there are lots of people out there who EXPECT support from the people closest to them and lots of times it's not gonna happen. Not because they don't care about you as a person, but more than likely because like you, they have things going on in their own lives that need their attention.transparentenigma wrote: »Call me a baby, but I LIKE getting the support, I like when people acknowledge what I have accomplished. I don't think as an adult asking for help is wrong, if I need it, I will ask for it. I don't like the scrunched up nose and pursed lips when my weight is yo-yoing, but that's part and parcel of the game.
I'm not going to apologize that I look to others at times for motivation when I can't drum it up in myself. Life is a circle. I have had others tell me that watching me through my journey motivated them to start theirs. In the same vein, watching others through their journey motivate me to continue mine, no matter how many times I have quit or stopped.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I think a lot of it is because some people have high expectations on the kind of support that they think they will get. When that level of support isn't met they let it get to them more than it should.
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It is. When a person is making a change for the better for themselves, the thinking is that everyone around them will be "that's great, I'll there for you along the way" when lots of times that's not the case. Some feel defeated at the point because if they don't get the support, they tend not to even attempt anymore.
It's never a bad thing to look for support. My point was that there are lots of people out there who EXPECT support from the people closest to them and lots of times it's not gonna happen. Not because they don't care about you as a person, but more than likely because like you, they have things going on in their own lives that need their attention.transparentenigma wrote: »Call me a baby, but I LIKE getting the support, I like when people acknowledge what I have accomplished. I don't think as an adult asking for help is wrong, if I need it, I will ask for it. I don't like the scrunched up nose and pursed lips when my weight is yo-yoing, but that's part and parcel of the game.
I'm not going to apologize that I look to others at times for motivation when I can't drum it up in myself. Life is a circle. I have had others tell me that watching me through my journey motivated them to start theirs. In the same vein, watching others through their journey motivate me to continue mine, no matter how many times I have quit or stopped.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I think a lot of it is because some people have high expectations on the kind of support that they think they will get. When that level of support isn't met they let it get to them more than it should.
That's why I made the thread. There will be those that read this who will be struggling to get support and I just want to let them know that it's not always going to happen, BUT that shouldn't be the reason they don't successfully make it. While some support can help along the way, the uptaking comes down to the individual since they control the aspects of their own weight loss/gain/maintenance.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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