Covering Up A Multitude Of Sins...Really Scary

Hanfordrose

I have seen so many before and after pictures on MFP. Most folks didn't start out quite as bad as me. The majority of my life was spent carrying well over 200 pounds. My 68 years and all that weight did a lot of damage that may or may not be FIXABLE.

Yes, I have lost 52 pounds in the past 6 months; but I still have a long way to go. I put together a before and after photo in April showing me at 280+ pounds to 232 pounds. It was a SAFE before and after picture, because I was fully clothed and not exposing anything scary.

In a recent post, I showed photos of me in a swimming pool for first time in years. I chose photos that DIDN'T reveal the worst of me. MFP friends commented that I didn't look like I was 219 pounds. Why didn't they see the truth? Because I was HIDING in the water, behind a towel or in carefully chosen clothing. The rest of the photos were DELETED, because I was still too scared to share the truth about how bad my body looked.

Today, I want to show you the TRUTH. This is me at 219 pounds. This is a real set of BEFORE pictures. This took more courage than anything else that I have ever done; but it was time to stop COVERING UP.

This first photo shows me dressed in my swimdress with a blouse to cover up my arms. Warning: This is only going to get worse...much worse, but I need to do this.



Here is the first step toward the Truth.



Now, we are getting really honest. This is the damage done by years of carrying the fat. Believe it or not, my husband thinks that I am sexy. Yes, he is an old man who probably could use some new glasses; but he love me...just as I am.



This is the bad news about my back side. Yes. This is a reality check. This is what my tired, fat, old body looks like at 219 pounds. Can you imagine this same body at 280+ pounds? I didn't have the guts to take that picture.



I couldn't have bared my body 6 months ago. I was too scared of what people would think...would say about this fat, old lady. I couldn't have done this TODAY without the encouragement of my MFP sisters and the trust that I have in all of you. If you don't consider this a Success, I feel sorry for you. Being truthful take courage, and it is the first step to getting healthy.

Today, I took my 219 pounds back to the water and swam 20 laps of that pool with the help and encouragement of the man I love, Pastor Special Ed. I couldn't do any of this without him.

Yes. I may be one of fattest ladies to use that pool; but I am also one of the luckiest, because I know that I am loved by this incredible man and my many dear MFP friends. I will succeed in losing the 18 more pounds to get my new knees and another 40 or more pounds on the other side of Onederland with their continued love and support.

By the way, isn't Ed a handsome swimming coach?

missCherry1977

great job! don't worry about the stuff you can't control anyway. What's important is you are getting better every day

kajungrill

Congratulations on the weight you have lost! We can't change the past so say goodbye to it and be proud of the progress you are making today. Good work!

bushidowoman

I love it! Your spunk and your love will surely get you through this!

LinOtt

That took great courage! Well done. No way you can go back now. Thank you for encouraging us with your story. I have in these last few months learnt for the first time, to be kinder to myself..

zinonya

You're doing great!!! Keep up the good work!!

mccbabe1

:bigsmile: your personality is beautiful and so are you.. to cute.. congrats on your wt loss thus far!!! awesum job...:drinker:
and yes handsome couple indeed

jennagoogles13

Your positive outlook on life is truly inspiring! Congratulations on all of your success and your bravery:flowerforyou:

ChristinaR720

Love your amazing attitude! Congratulations on your wonderful progress!

bio01979

you're beautiful Never let anyone tell you otherwise

thank you for having the courage to share those

MyJourney1960

You are beautiful - inside and out. Your photos and story took a lot of guts. Give that Ed an extra big hug - he is amazing too

Mouse_Potato

You rock. Truly.

AlongCame_Molly

Oh my GOSH, I just love you! You posts are always so full of optimism and happiness and bravery. I wish I could be more like you.

Well done, you! And go make that awesome husband of yours a sammich!

kimstwin

Thanks for the inspiring post. Progress is progress, and you have nothing to be ashamed of! Good luck in your journey.

Territravel

I applaude your bravery!

colleenz43

your courage is inspiring! I look much the same as you do!
More ladies than not, probably do. i applaud your 50 pounds.
Its hard steady work, with gratifying results.

maruby95

Love, love, love this post!! Congratulations on your success so far. And for what it's worth, I wasn't at all 'scared' by your pictures. You have a beautiful smile and a positive, grateful attitude which is very attractive in my opinion. I can see why your husbadn thinks the world of you . And on that note, can I tell you how wonderfully refreshing it is to hear a woman who has been married for a while adore, appreciate, and enjoy her husband?! Congratulations on a (seemingly) happy, healthy, fullfilling marriage- which is darn hard work .

Many blessings on your journey!!

mmorrison19

Ah you are so awesome! You are so lucky to have someone so supportive! Congratulations on your weight loss! I think you are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out!

Browne_Fox

Paster Special Ed is not wrong, you look terrific.

ldrosophila

You are too hard on yourself you look great. We also have the same body type with our tummies.

MGreensides

Two days in a row you've had me crying reading your posts!! I honestly think you look great, and liberated. Those new knees better be ready for you! Pastor Special Ed is one very lucky, handsome man.

jennpaulson

You are so brave amd beautiful. I have thought about posting before photos but haven't even been able to bring myself to look at them. You are doing a great job and should be so proud! Good luck on your knee replacement!!

jenilla1

Is this your new swimsuit? It's my favorite so far. Super cute! :drinker:

CouleeRunner

What can I say? You are wonderful!

Thank you for sharing!

Hanfordrose

Is this your new swimsuit? It's my favorite so far. Super cute! :drinker:

Yes, Sis. I like this one so much that I ordered a purple one today in the same style. I am going to need some more swimming outfits, if Ed and I are going to the pool every day; and that appears to be the plan. As we were leaving the pool area to drive home, Ed said, "I think that you should do 25 laps tomorrow."

My response was..."WHAT?!!! Are you crazy?!!!" :noway:

That's when he reminded me that he is 'the coach'. He doesn't swim. He can't swim, but he sure can coach. He used to be the wrestling coach at his sons' high school. His youngest son was a state champion. So, the word 'coach' does apply.

I thought that I would be in horrible pain today, after 16 laps yesterday; but I feel fine. So, Coach knows best.

savemama

I applaud your bravery and positive attitude. Plus it sounds like you have a great and loving partner!


Kudos to you!

MoreLikeMe43

You always, always sparkle. In your pics and your posts. Truly inspirational.

texanintokyo

Good for you for taking the "plunge" so to speak. Every journey starts somewhere and you are off to a great start.

I knew by the scale that I was the heaviest I had ever been but for some reason didn't see how bad it was when I looked in the mirror. My "ah ha" moment was when I saw myself in photos from a party in April...WOW! I don't know why but even I was shocked. That was it, I chucked the junk (for the most part) and stared getting serious about losing the weight. Sure there have been slip ups but I keep that photo up where I can see it.

DawnEH612

How wonderful for you to face your truth.. Without the truth its hard to change. It is scary to post photos... But scarier not to... Keep up the fantastic work and dedication. You will get those new knees before you know it!

Balance_Breathe

Well, I think you're looking great. To me, a woman who is about 50 pounds heavier than you, you look slim, and actually have quite a youthful looking body. I would never guess that you are 68.

Truthfully, I have seen pictures of very young women who've lost weight and some of them seem to have saggier skin than you do. I bet continuing to swim is going to help tone up some of those areas you don't like so much. But listen to Ed... Ed knows sexy when he sees it. : )

STANDING OVATION!!!

I wonder if you're going to start losing weight even faster now? Not only the exercise, but all that good vitamin D from the sun is supposed to help with losing weight!

How does it feel to be a role model and a hero to so many? :flowerforyou:

Hanfordrose

Well, I think you're looking great. To me, a woman who is about 50 pounds heavier than you, you look slim, and actually have quite a youthful looking body. I would never guess that you are 68.

I would never use the words 'slim' or 'youthful' to describe my body. Of course, the word 'sexy' sounded pretty silly, when Ed used it today as he took those photos. He kept making me laugh, as he said stuff between taking pictures, like: "I have to have this photo on my computer." "Love that skin." and "You look so sexy."

Like I said...He isn't called Special Ed for nothing. My man is unique; and I am so glad that he really considers me to be sexy and beautiful, just like this.

I wonder if you're going to start losing weight even faster now? Not only the exercise, but all that good vitamin D from the sun is supposed to help with losing weight!

I hope that all the time in the pool will help with my weight loss; but I will be happy, if it just helps to tighten up some of my flabby skin.

How does it feel to be a role model and a hero to so many?

SCARY! I don't like being put on a pedestal. That makes the fall a lot harder, if I should fail in any way.