NSV - Ladies, why do you get mad when this happens to you?

KBGAgent

Took a bike ride on an old rail trail through some of the neighboring counties. I ran into an old friend who's kids used to be in Sunday school with mine, hadn't seen her face to face for a few years. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes and caught up on the kids, I gestured a bit when I talked. (not that much, its not like I'm Italian) She broke face/eye contact every time I moved. I paused a bit after a while and she'd look back up at my face.

I told her I started at the trail head, she assumed I started at the one a couple miles away but I actually started at the other end of trail in the next county. I made a hitch-hiker fist with my hand lifting my arm pointing back over my shoulder with my thumb to the other end. I saw her eyes pop.

"Holy Freakin' God, look at those guns,... how did you do it, you look great!"

If I was a lady and every time I moved or just took a deep breath and the guy I was talking to looked down at my chest, I wouldn't get mad. I'd just say: "Thank you, thank you very much."

mccbabe1

It's annoying because it means the person you are talking to values your breasts more than what you have to say. Complimenting someone's hard work to achieve some nice muscles is quite different than drooling over someone's breasts.

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KBGAgent

Thanks for your thoughts Dancingonstar,

I realize muscles are more valued by most ppl on a guy rather than a woman, But, for a woman to have a nice chest, backside, legs...whatever... it is still an accomplishment for her. She wouldn't get many of those looks/compliments without good hygiene and being reasonably fit.

I can see how statements about your appearance from a person you don't know/trust can be scary for a woman, more so than for a man. And I know appearance compliments can be used to demean a woman or even a man. But in this case, she wasn't going to assault me and wasn't going to propose an affair. If she couldn't pay close attention to what I was saying about which end of the trail I started, I can totally forgive her in exchange for the compliment she paid me.

Actually, I am surprised there aren't a few women who would say: "Yeah, I get a total rush when I know a guy has hard time taking his eyes of my figure."

crazysmom

Or it's possible she is someone (like me) who has trouble maintaining eye contact.

gwensoul

The first few times, sure, then it happens all the freaking time. When it happens all the time with certain people then you realize it isn’t you they value, it isn’t your hard work, they just see you as a body. Never nice to realize what you say isn't as important as how you look, particularly with strangers (I guess since I choose to not be around people who say otherwise)\

And I still got plenty of those times not beingfit, it really just has to do with having something guys want.

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

It totally depends on the situation and the person. For women, that can happen so often that you wonder if anyone even remembers you have a brain. Besides, it's a really oogy feeling when someone I'm not attracted to is oggling my breasts (can't say as I've caught too many staring at my crotch). But I really do appreciate it when I'm complimented on my shoulders or thighs. I know that's complimentary of my hard work (and sometimes good genes). Whereas someone who can't keep his eyes off the girls is just a creep.

I'm sure I'll get lambasted for my honesty by some, but I do not mind when an attractive or otherwise desirable guy sneaks a peek. I'm glad they still notice. But being that distracted by boobies is just gross.

And I don't get mad unless someone is downright disgusting about it. I just pretend on of my arms it itchy so I can cover, and if that doesn't drop a big enough hint, I walk away (knowing my *kitten* is probably going to get looked at too). I'm not suggesting I'm some hot chick. I'm not. I'm a mom. I just think some guys never move out of puberty.

Cinflo58

That's great! I would be happy if someone couldn't take their eyes off my muscles! Not that I have any, but I'm getting there. Congrats on your success!

gwensoul

And I don't get mad unless someone is downright disgusting about it. I just pretend on of my arms it itchy so I can cover, and if that doesn't drop a big enough hint, I walk away (knowing my *kitten* is probably going to get looked at too). I'm not suggesting I'm some hot chick. I'm not. I'm a mom. I just think some guys never move out of puberty.

No lambasting but this is an interesting point I think gets overlooked. Why make excuses to cover yourself up. Like it is your problem they are looking? I do the same thing. I have been reading a lot on how society trains people to act certain ways lately and the way women and men are trained to handle confrontation is interesting and really scary.

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

And I don't get mad unless someone is downright disgusting about it. I just pretend on of my arms it itchy so I can cover, and if that doesn't drop a big enough hint, I walk away (knowing my *kitten* is probably going to get looked at too). I'm not suggesting I'm some hot chick. I'm not. I'm a mom. I just think some guys never move out of puberty.

No lambasting but this is an interesting point I think gets overlooked. Why make excuses to cover yourself up. Like it is your problem they are looking? I do the same thing. I have been reading a lot on how society trains people to act certain ways lately and the way women and men are trained to handle confrontation is interesting and really scary.

Well because if I'm talking to them, they are probably a friend or business associate, so it's not some stranger I want to shout at. I'd like to believe that a friend or business associate just got momentarily distracted and wasn't standing there thinking gross thoughts. So I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and break their line of vision (like when someone has food on their lip how someone else rubs their own lip I guess).

Now that's not to say I haven't spoken up. I have. If something makes me uncomfortable, I'm not a shrinking violet. I figure some situations call for confrontation and some do not.

I feel like kind of a creep myself by posting as though this happens to me all the time. It doesn't.

Catlady87

I realize muscles are more valued by most ppl on a guy rather than a woman, But, for a woman to have a nice chest, backside, legs...whatever... it is still an accomplishment for her.

I get what you are saying here but I disagree with a woman having a decent pair of breasts as being an accomplishment. There's nothing we can do about them to make to smaller, bigger, more pert, whatever . They appear t about 10-13 and keep growing for about 10 years. I don't think I've accomplished anything by having a decent rack.
I DO think I've accomplished something by losing 24lbs, getting fitter and having people (males or females) compliment me.

But as others have stated there is a difference between someone admiring my body and someone perving on my body and it can be a fine line.

BarbellBlondieRuns

I don't get mad. I know what I've got and I know that they're nice LOL!

Legs_McGee

It doesn't annoy me, I think it's funny. Then again I'm an A cup, so it's only happened, like, twice ever.

rml_16

Teenage boys used to stare at my chest when I was a teenage girl and around them a lot.

As I've become an adult and started being around adult MEN, they actually look at my face. I'm not saying men don't notice my breasticles -- of course they do -- but they're at least polite enough not to stare. It's rude to do that.

jjscholar

It's annoying because it means the person you are talkng to values your breasts more than what you have to say. Complimenting someone's hard work to achieve some nice muscles is quite different than drooling over someone's breasts.

I think that Ms. dancingonstar is right... It is very different because at least in the US women tend to be overly objectified based upon their physical appearance...

Don't get me wrong admiring women is not always wrong... The problem is how we show our appreciation of women...

samlankford

boobs don't talk... least I have not trained my "girls" to speak... its rude and very annoying when someone you know or don't know stared at your chest... I make it a point to let them know that I have caught them staring... :bigsmile:

saxmaniac

It's annoying because it means the person you are talking to values your breasts more than what you have to say. Complimenting someone's hard work to achieve some nice muscles is quite different than drooling over someone's breasts.

Aw, bull. If that were true, she's be staring at his "amazing lifting journal" and distracted by his 1RMs... not the visual presence of his arms.

rowanwood

There's a difference between looking and leering like a creepy pig. If you have to ask, you probably don't know the difference and trust me, that's a problem.

Jennloella

it doesn't make me think they don't care what I"m saying hahahahah. If they glaze over and don't reply when I ask a question then maybe we have a problem, but if they can follow my conversation and contribute I don't care where they look. And I always figure if a girl didn't want people to look, I guess she would wear a turtleneck.

MyChocolateDiet

First off I don't know what "hygiene" has to do with getting a nice butt or boobs. I'm not sure that word means what you think it means.

Secondly CONTEXT.

In the context of chit chatting with an old friend and the only key point to clarify being what actual trail you started on for information shooting the breezes purposes, yeah compliment wins.

However, in the context of work where I really worked hard on this project/presentation etc. and want a raise or promotion or project assignment or close the deal based on it, or what I'm about to tell you points to some major liabilities or could be costly or dangerous, yeah keep your eyes on my face and pay attention to what I'm telling you, it's important.

SUMMATION:

At the clubs stare at boobs

At the works do NOT stare at boobs

MelsAuntie

Thanks for your thoughts Dancingonstar,

I realize muscles are more valued by most ppl on a guy rather than a woman, But, for a woman to have a nice chest, backside, legs...whatever... it is still an accomplishment for her. She wouldn't get many of those looks/compliments without good hygiene and being reasonably fit.

I can see how statements about your appearance from a person you don't know/trust can be scary for a woman, more so than for a man. And I know appearance compliments can be used to demean a woman or even a man. But in this case, she wasn't going to assault me and wasn't going to propose an affair. If she couldn't pay close attention to what I was saying about which end of the trail I started, I can totally forgive her in exchange for the compliment she paid me.

Actually, I am surprised there aren't a few women who would say: "Yeah, I get a total rush when I know a guy has hard time taking his eyes of my figure."

I think you've got the correct handle on the situation. I do think "You look great" is one thing, love that, but ogling and saying something like "Hey, great tits, sugar" is offensive.

yrollam1013

Staring at my breasts to me means you are more interested in my body then me, that you are objectifying me. I guess the male equivalent would be how would you like someone staring at your groin instead of making eye contact with you while talking to you. I don't think leering at anyone's body male or female is appropriate.