Online dating. WTH!

Mrsallypants

Yeah, but working = money, which is integral to life, really. Therefore, you stating that women are out to nest and are bothered by the amount of money a man earns at the same time as saying it's a "gender" issue is a bit hypocritical. If you were given two identical people, one with no money and one with £100k in the bank, you'd take the richer one because it's human nature. I'm not condemning or supporting women who do this because it's always been against my principles, but I think it's a slightly unfair statement to say we are, in the majority, looking to nest and get ourselves a fella with a good job.

The "if she's hot" comment was probably in jest, but if not - ugh, I'm not even going to bother.

I wouldn't say it was "normal" - I would say it occurs far more than you seem to experience.

Women do want to "nest" at a certain age - the formal term is hypergamy. It could be rooted in biology as some surmise, but i think it is more of a cultural thing; kind of the vestige of the past. I wouldn't choose the richer woman; I would choose the virtuous and beautiful one. Virtue is far more important than social status or money. You can try to justify your hypergamous tendencies all you want, but you're just deluding yourself.

Physical beauty is very important in the beginning, I mean it can cloud your thought process with lust. This can lead to bedding and dating someone who is absolutely f^%%^$ crazy, an emotional wreck and at worst like Jodi Arias.

Phx99

I look at the guys on the sites...and wonder "if they are so great, why are they on here"? Of course, the opposite could be said too. I am not sure I would meet anyone off of a dating site, but it does work for some people, so who's to say?

PlayerHatinDogooder

Yes.

Sometimes people, when online dating, present themselves a bit more favorably in order to attract the opposite sex.

I guess I'm not really sure why you're surprised by this.

Mrsallypants

...ha! i totally get the smell thing. a guy has to smell right...

This is absolutely key. The neck and chest area are great sniffing spots.

(And I mean his natural smell, not the smell of all that perfume crap some of them like to spray all over.)

What is your favorite men's cologne? James Bond 007? Smell is extremely important. i mean the sense of smell is very emotional and nostalgic, do you ever remember what you use to feel as a child just for a fleeting second like when you smell the grass and freshly blooming trees and flowers on the first days of spring? It's poetry and tragic because the feeling disperses so quickly.

SummerNights32

The "a few extra pounds" thing goes both ways for sure. I am sure plenty of women lie about their size, I mean let's be honest...a few extra pounds is different than 75 pounds over weight. But, men do the exact same thing. In fact, I would guess that perhaps men do it more. Many men put "average", yet it is obvious they are very over weight as well. And there are bigger men who like to say they are muscular or athletic, but their large arm size is not due to their bicep!

Saying that, I know not everyone does that, so you can't lump everyone together. There are plenty of people who are honest about their size, and they are plenty who are not as well. Don't worry about it, if you don't like what you see move on. I personally listed my body type as "a few extra pounds". I have went on dates and the guys ask me why I put that, so I explain that it is because I am not super skinny. I am curvy as I see it, and could definitely stand to lose a few pounds. I have also had men write me nasty emails before we even met, telling me that I shouldn't put that I like to work out on my profile...because "fat girls don't work out." I guess everyone's idea of "a few extra pounds" is different.

rml_16

I have heard many guys say that a lot of women on the dating websites (i was on one for a couple of years), even if they dopost a full body picture, it must be years old, because then when they actually meet, it is NOTHING like the picture they posted, and usually not in a good way. I have seen profiles that don't exactly say "no fatties", but they guys make it clear that they want someone who has taken good care of their body... You could say "physical fitness is important to me, and I want someone who shares this"... Good luck to you my firnd, online dating is a nightmare, but like you, I have kids, a job, school, etc. and it was a necessary evil (3 years and still going with someone I met on an online dating website!)

I have never understood why people lie on their profiles.

my theory is that these are usually the same people who will want to chat with you via text/email/phone/carrier pigeon for forever and a day before meeting you in person, even if they live in the same city.

i suppose they think they can rope you in with their dazzling wit and charm than by the time you meet in person you'll overlook the fact that their pictures are 20 years old, they are 5 inches shorter, they have no teeth, etc.

OMG you wouldnt believe how many men i've met online who have no teeth an who supposedly have jobs with dental benefits :sad:

Well I'm never in a hurry to meet. I have weeded out many problems just through talking. Uusually unless he's a professional con man, the real person will come out. Lies, anger issues, insecurities. Thankfully I'm pretty happy on my own, which is why I was looking for dating only. I still believe the right person is out there, but I can wait until he comes along.

that's geat that it works for you, but if i'm not mistaken you're female. so my theory is about GUYS since i'm not trying to date women via online, offline or any other line.

from my experience MEN who live close but who want to spend time emailing, texting, chatting and not meeting in person have things to hide : married, lied about age, lied about height, etc.

I don't know. I also got the guys who wanted to meet after one email. Just never understood the rush. I would have no problem meeting after a few phone calls but these guys would literally email and ask to meet that night.

Why not? You can get to know people much easier in person. If you met any way but online, you wouldn't spend weeks or months e-mailing and talking on the phone before going on a date.

Obviously, drive separately and meet in a very public place, though. In both cases.

Actually if I did meet someone, say at a concert, I would talk with them on the phone before we went out on a date. Maybe not weeks, but I wouldn't go out with them the next night either.

I guess I don't see the point of that. If you like someone, go on a date. Why drag it out? You're going to get to know him either way, but in person is so much better. You miss a lot just talking on the phone.

AllTehBeers

Yes.

Sometimes people, when online dating, present themselves a bit more favorably in order to attract the opposite sex.

I guess I'm not really sure why you're surprised by this.

Thank god my girlfriend turned out to be hot.

Stump_Likker

I look at the guys on the sites...and wonder "if they are so great, why are they on here"? Of course, the opposite could be said too. I am not sure I would meet anyone off of a dating site, but it does work for some people, so who's to say?
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Personally I've always been a shy person, so approaching a guy was a big no way. I've come out of my shell a lot but I'm still not a big flirt. I also have a 10 year old daughter at home, so I don't go out nearly as much. Can't speak for anyone else.

Momjogger

I think that men are more likely to just want sex so perhaps my statement needs a little clarification: men more likely just want sex and maybe a partner. I think women more likely want a partner and maybe sex

I think it's biological.

OMG - you sound JUST like my husband. I didn't know there was more than one of you out there! LOL Your wife and kids are lucky to have you. Happy Fathers Day!

Topsking2010

What happened to approaching a person and saying hello!!


Online dating is like finding a needle in a haystack!!!

AmyZ46

I met my husband on Match .com 10 years ago . It has been the best relationship I have ever had.
I messaged him - I looked at his photo for a whole month before messaging him because he was not my type, but I loved what he wrote in his BIO.( I didn't think he was cute) I can't believe that now because now when I look at him he is so very handsome to me:)

Best thing I ever did.

A few of the men I had chats with did not seem - real ? They seemed to be fooling around and just having fun . I wanted someone who actually wanted a relationship . Luckily so did he.

There are some pretty vulgar people out there and if you meet them in person it takes longer to figure it out in my opinion ,because online it comes out quite quickly haha.In my experience.

Oh , I was only on Match.com for 2 months , hubby was on for 4 months I think. He had lots of dates but nothing worked out till me- and I was not his type either ,so he said.

Just saying

AllTehBeers

What happened to approaching a person and saying hello!!


Online dating is like finding a needle in a haystack!!!

Because everyone you say hello to is date worthy?

Both my long term relationships started as online.

There is no difference except you can meet a LOT more people online in a shorter amount of time then in real life, especially if you're shy and introverted like myself.

michael1976_ca

i have tried on pof i found nothing l0ots of cute lady but they wouldn't even reply to my message ps my older brother met both his ex wife and his seacond wife on the net. there nasty cruel and demeaning. i can't stand her

Stump_Likker

i have tried on pof i found nothing l0ots of cute lady but they wouldn't even reply to my message ps my older brother met both his ex wife and his seacond wife on the net. there nasty cruel and demeaning. i can't stand her



[img]http://blu.stb.s-msn.com/i/12/CB8FBDDA729F84D8BC8CA157217A_h316_w628_m5_cawOaFiyw.jpg[/img I think a lot of women are wary because odds are they have run across a lot of creeps. You would be amazed at how many guys seem so normal and then BAM. It's very discouragingl[/img]

michael1976_ca

this is what i fear when on line

AmyZ46

Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...

If you read my post a little while ago, I was not attracted to my husbands photo- We chatted for a month before we met and I was very attracted to him by then. Oh and he kind of hid the fact that he owned his own business because of all the money grubbers out there- So I thought he was just getting by like everyone else - He's not rich by any means but he's not as broke as he said he was which is understandable.

Stump_Likker

this is what i fear when on line

Ok, well imagine that the guy wearing the bra likes it. That's what we fear!

LisaDunn01

I made many online attempts - from 2005 to 2009. I would put my profile up as "this time" I would find who I was looking for, only to quickly become discouraged, let down, frustrated and take my profile down. (Analogous to "this time I'm really starting my diet...")

My last attempt at being online I made one rule for myself: I was not allowed to take my profile down until I found who I was searching for. I endured getting contacted by the players pretending to want monogamous relationships, the "I want 'no baggage'" guys, the guys looking for women to support them and the list goes on. There were moments I felt discouraged and frustrated and even one time I thought about taking my profile down. But then I remembered the rule I made for myself... Dammit!

Finding "him" was like finding "a needle in a haystack". The decent ones are definitely far and few between, but they are out there looking for exactly what you are looking for. You just have to stay persistent and look at this as a game.

I kept my profile positive and playful, never stating what I didn't want. I also kept it simple. And, I didn't make my statements like broad public announcements. I was trying to reach one person and one person only so communicated as such...

My husband and I will be celebrating 4 years on the 28th of June. That's the day I found him and we first communicated. We dated for 3 1/2 years and married 6 months ago. And it gets better and better as time goes on!

Whatever it is you WANT for yourself, it IS out there. There is a woman who is looking for exactly the same things you are looking for. Just persist!

MsJulielicious

this is what i fear when on line

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Sushifish87

Sounds like you're more into looks than the person....

I meet my husband of 6 years through WoW (an online MMORPG), never saw him for the 5 years of talking except a few pics of his face and mine. After years I decided to meet him in person cause I... ready for this.. love his personality! I didn't care what he looked like just that it was him.

You might want to get over the looks and focus on the person, you might pass up meeting some amazing people cause you're to focused on their weight. An a post like this is just as bad as pointing at all the overweight people on this site and in the world calling them ugly cause they have 75+lbs to lose... to me you seem like the 'ugly' person due to your negativity.