Online dating. WTH!

glovepuppet

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

So ... You're a loser if you meet through a dating sight, but not if you meet through an online video game.

Are you actually serious with this post?

I didn't read it as she was saying people on saying sites are losers. I understood from her post she is suggesting that people meet people on common ground of interest to make things easier. If you like video games join a video gaming community and be active on the forums and you might meet someone who already shares your interest in video games.

She was giving video games as an example because it worked for her. And went on to give MFP as another example of people meeting.

I guess I look at things from a positive perspective and assuming the best intentions.

First two sentences of her post: If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..

Just cause someone is doing something wrong it doesn't make them a loser...

I don't know what she meant 100%, but I read as her saying they need the website cause they don't have other means to meet people, like hobbies, or mutual friends with single friends, or other social interactions that make it easy to meet possible compatible people. But not because they are losers...

why isn't perusing dating sites as valid a hobby as minecraft?

jasoncbackus

**Hit the wrong reply button...argh!

vtmoon

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

So ... You're a loser if you meet through a dating sight, but not if you meet through an online video game.

Are you actually serious with this post?

I didn't read it as she was saying people on saying sites are losers. I understood from her post she is suggesting that people meet people on common ground of interest to make things easier. If you like video games join a video gaming community and be active on the forums and you might meet someone who already shares your interest in video games.

She was giving video games as an example because it worked for her. And went on to give MFP as another example of people meeting.

I guess I look at things from a positive perspective and assuming the best intentions.

First two sentences of her post: If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..

Just cause someone is doing something wrong it doesn't make them a loser...

I don't know what she meant 100%, but I read as her saying they need the website cause they don't have other means to meet people, like hobbies, or mutual friends with single friends, or other social interactions that make it easy to meet possible compatible people. But not because they are losers...

why isn't perusing dating sites as valid a hobby as minecraft?

valid? both are valid, I can eat soup with a fork, doesn't mean I will get bent out of shape if someone said I was doing it wrong.

jasoncbackus

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

Who the hell are you to decide that someone is doing it wrong? I met my amazing fiance online and we couldn't be happier! It's the way we chose to do it because our lives were so busy and we weren't into clubs or bars (or I guess WoW).

Stump_Likker

Ugggg


I'm in the middle of telling someone the level of clingy-ness they are exhibiting after a few times chatting is a huge red flag and that it's never going to happen.

Unfortunately so far NOT so good. I'm going to need a diagram I'm afraid.

Lmao No way I just deleted my pof cause some dude started calling me angel and baby, and messaging me every hour asking where I was. Oi crazies be after us.

Exactly. It's either this or fetishes. I don't have a problem with what people are into, but I'm pretty sure there are dating sites for every type of person. I hate when guys would email me and ask if I wanted to watch them pleasure themselves. Why in the hell would I want to do that??!! It's all just really been a turnoff for me. I've been on my own for 3 years so thankfully I'm comfortable with that.

glovepuppet

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

So ... You're a loser if you meet through a dating sight, but not if you meet through an online video game.

Are you actually serious with this post?

I didn't read it as she was saying people on saying sites are losers. I understood from her post she is suggesting that people meet people on common ground of interest to make things easier. If you like video games join a video gaming community and be active on the forums and you might meet someone who already shares your interest in video games.

She was giving video games as an example because it worked for her. And went on to give MFP as another example of people meeting.

I guess I look at things from a positive perspective and assuming the best intentions.

First two sentences of her post: If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..

Just cause someone is doing something wrong it doesn't make them a loser...

I don't know what she meant 100%, but I read as her saying they need the website cause they don't have other means to meet people, like hobbies, or mutual friends with single friends, or other social interactions that make it easy to meet possible compatible people. But not because they are losers...

why isn't perusing dating sites as valid a hobby as minecraft?

valid? both are valid, I can eat soup with a fork, doesn't mean I will get bent out of shape if someone said I was doing it wrong.

comparing WOW to eating soup with a fork is a little harsh.

vtmoon

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

So ... You're a loser if you meet through a dating sight, but not if you meet through an online video game.

Are you actually serious with this post?

I didn't read it as she was saying people on saying sites are losers. I understood from her post she is suggesting that people meet people on common ground of interest to make things easier. If you like video games join a video gaming community and be active on the forums and you might meet someone who already shares your interest in video games.

She was giving video games as an example because it worked for her. And went on to give MFP as another example of people meeting.

I guess I look at things from a positive perspective and assuming the best intentions.

First two sentences of her post: If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..

Just cause someone is doing something wrong it doesn't make them a loser...

I don't know what she meant 100%, but I read as her saying they need the website cause they don't have other means to meet people, like hobbies, or mutual friends with single friends, or other social interactions that make it easy to meet possible compatible people. But not because they are losers...

why isn't perusing dating sites as valid a hobby as minecraft?

valid? both are valid, I can eat soup with a fork, doesn't mean I will get bent out of shape if someone said I was doing it wrong.

comparing WOW to eating soup with a fork is a little harsh.

You are the one asking about validity. Dating Is not an exact science, and has different methods and approaches based on the desired end results. I'm guessing WOW is WoW ( World of Warcraft) being used as a video game example? if not then I didn't understand what you are trying to say there.

ldrosophila

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

LOL this be totally honest say I'm not looking to get with a tub of lard so dont even hit me up if you are what? 50lbs over your ideal body weight. Doesnt sound like you are being specific enough.

Also whats wrong with a person saying they want a relationship on an online dating thing? Isnt that the point? If it's just a hook up go to adult friend finders or something like that. (you might have answered that already)

Oh and I agree with the chat a few times and think youre in a relationship some women are crazy like that.

KANGOOJUMPS

kinda funny really,

pobalita

If you're going on a dating site, you're doing it wrong. Theres a reason those people need a dating site to land a date or try to find what they're looking for..
I met my boyfriend on a video game forum (young nerds in love, aww), we were best friends for 3 years and never saw eachothers face, he lived in California and I in Washington.. He had family up here and we met up while he was visiting.. and thats how we hit it off.
Oh, and then he joined the air force and is now stationed in Georgia! :grumble:

But its all good, I just spent 3 weeks down there with him and we went to Universal Studios and all sorts of fun places. Long Distance is ok with me because I enjoy my independence and alone time. But I understand its not for everyone.

Honestly, I say select a hobby you like and find a forum with people who share the same interests as you.. I know some people here on MFP that have gotten married / are dating eachother.. Usually when you're not looking is when they pop up.

Note to self: I've been doing it wrong. Either start playing online video games or start using MFP as pickup site.

Thanks for the tips!

ldrosophila

And just so everyone doesn't think I'm some douche who only cares about looks that isn't the case.

LOL out of the 7 observations in your OP 4 were related to looks. Hmmmmm...

ldrosophila

]

I'll play Devil's Advocate here. Are you telling me you'd be happy with a woman who doesn't work, has no career prospects and little money? Are you genuinely able to say "I don't care"? Most men can't - I know. I've been ill for a long, long time and my illness has pushed people away online and offline. I am not a "desirable" person to be with, basically. I DO agree that SOME women will look for those attributes but I also know that MEN look for certain parameters too, so it's not one sided.

If she is hot, she can get away with a lot, not having job is one of those things.

totally men love to rescue the hot maiden in distress even if she has 4 kids from 4 different men, no aspiration to better her life, possible drug abuse, and is crazier than a looney bird.

OOPS to the previous poster this is not in reference to you at all. Just answering the hot comment with sarcasm...well mostly.

vtmoon

]

I'll play Devil's Advocate here. Are you telling me you'd be happy with a woman who doesn't work, has no career prospects and little money? Are you genuinely able to say "I don't care"? Most men can't - I know. I've been ill for a long, long time and my illness has pushed people away online and offline. I am not a "desirable" person to be with, basically. I DO agree that SOME women will look for those attributes but I also know that MEN look for certain parameters too, so it's not one sided.

If she is hot, she can get away with a lot, not having job is one of those things.

totally men love to rescue the hot maiden in distress even if she has 4 kids from 4 different men, no aspiration to better her life, possible drug abuse, and is crazier than a looney bird.

OOPS to the previous poster this is not in reference to you at all. Just answering the hot comment with sarcasm...well mostly.

How many women do you know of that are still considered hot, that have 4 kids from 4 different men, with no aspiration to better her life, and possible drug abuse, and crazier than a looney bird?

Give me one example that meets all those contradicting criteria and I will show you a unicorn.

faithsimmons526

sounds like he's just overwhelmed with decisions so uses any arbitrary measure to eliminate options, vs investing in each. i think people advising him to just try meet people 'in real life' are probably right


Ya I think so too.

I kind of lost track around page 10, so sorry if I am repeating something that's already been mentioned.

Have you tried googling 'meetup'? There are tons of meetup groups IN YOUR AREA (unless you live WAYY far out in the sticks), that cover every interest under the sun. Into cars? there's a group. Into nature? there's a group. Like your cat? there's a group. Wish you could do card tricks better? there's a group.

Whether it be a singles dance or organic foods enthusiast (etc etc) group, wouldn't it be great to meet like-minded people -- many of them female -- with similar interests to your own? The first thing that would happen is that you find someone to talk to who is interested in your opinions. After that it's up to you where it goes ....

edit to add:

I met one of my best friends at an 'Occupy' meetup. Turns out I now have a friend with similar interests to my own ... even though she's not a 'romantic' interest, she does have some cute male friends who I had the opportunity to meet at a future celebration. You just never know ...

Jennisin1

As a professional single mom with two young kids, I don't have time to get out and just float around hoping to run into someone single.

But that said, I think men are more upfront about their looks then women.. but then, I'm a cutie, so I frequently update my profile pics and I am looking for a relationship.. not a hook-up, but that doesn't mean I am jumping into anything.

I like to say I am not running towards anything, but I am looking for someone who is open to all possibilties, so I don't run into a glass wall.

Timshel_

I've NEVER actively looked for a relationship, and certainly nothing serious enough for marriage. That is just disaster looking for a home.

faithsimmons526

I've NEVER actively looked for a relationship, and certainly nothing serious enough for marriage. That is just disaster looking for a home.

Awww ... sorry you've had a rough go so far Chaelaz. Some of us (probably including me) have other things to do in our lives than to 'commit romantic relationship'. Just so long as we don't avoid it out of fear .... yes?

djshari

It is funny that someone suggested video gaming as I've dated a few guys I met that way, though one was long distance.

I really disliked my experience with online sites. I was very up front in my profile and as much as I wanted to post an ugly photo on purpose I held back... lol. There were several points I had to change my photo and my profile. The first time I took down a photo I had from the waist up because apparently my boobs looked too good because I got too many messages about my bra size. Another guy after insisting on a phone call mentioned how tall I am... ummm what?? I'm 5'2" where did you get that idea? So I changed the very first line of my profile to say that I am short and fat (and some other nice things non physical attributes) hoping to weed out the jerks who think I'm trying to trick them into dating a fat girl.

These are the things I've noticed about guys and I am relieved that most have been mentioned earlier in this thread:

-Guys that are too PUSHY... OP said girls get clingy but guys do it too "WHY HAVENT YOU MESSAGED ME BACK ITS BEEN A WHOLE 5 MINS" or asking me to meet them when I say specifically in my profile that I am not interested in meeting right away. I have guys who see that I like video gaming and tell me that I HAVE TO get some game because they play it even if I no interest in it. If I have to tell them something like that more than once I just stop talking to them.

-The weight thing has been talked about a lot and I agree with saying that you are looking for active people or your activity level instead of saying you are looking for a certain body type. The ones who ask for a specific body type are usually NOT as good looking as they expect their prospective dates to be. Personally I find it funny, a lot of less than average joes thinking they deserve nothing less than Angelina Jolie...

-The money thing. I know lots of guys think women place a lot of importance on money and some do but I seem to find more guys that don't work or live at home and think that because I support myself I have all kinds of money to give them. This is getting old... let me tell you. I don't really care how much money you have as long as you can at least pay for yourself. If I decided to start a family this might be an issue but I don't expect him to pay for everything.

I cancelled my account just because it isn't easy to really get to know someone. Some wanted to meet right away and I understand that - see if there is a spark and get it out of the way right? I don't feel comfortable being judged in that kind of away. I need to be able to have a decent conversation with them BEFORE we meet. My minimum expectation was to see if I got along with someone and go from there. There were too many guys that didn't seem to read my profile at all. Some of them had things in their profile like they are looking for someone very active who likes parasailing and rock climbing and I didn't understand why they were contacting me when my physical activities mostly listed walking and swimming. Ideally I would just like to meet someone in every day life who I get along with and go from there without all the pressure, lies, judgement, etc of "dating" but so far not there yet. I may reconsider in the future but I doubt it will change much.

MrMillion

i have always used online dating. But there a limit to it. I always like finding women in person rather online.

BeTheFire

And FWIW I wouldn't have signed up at all if not for kids/school/work etc preventing me from going out on a regular basis.

You don't have to justify it bro; the way of the world now with technology changing and schedules filling up, I don't begrudge someone for the online option. Best of luck to you sir.