Online dating. WTH!

LonLB

So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:

"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.

Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)


"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.


People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)


Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"

I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.

There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.



Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.

LonLB

And FWIW I wouldn't have signed up at all if not for kids/school/work etc preventing me from going out on a regular basis.

randomtai

Agreed with the face only pictures :laugh:

sem41278

Sounds like online dating isn't for you. Try meeting someone in in a club you like- I.e. book or motorcycle. P.s. I met my husband via match.com. I was about 30lbs overweight then and described myself as a few extra pounds. Never seemed yo bother the guys I met.

Edited to add dating is a numbers game. And I don't think there is anything wrong with saying actively looking for a husband. They are putting it out there - if its not what you are looking for don't waste their time!

BionicRedneck

So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:

"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.

Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)


"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.


People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)


Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"

I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.

There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.



Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.

I noticed the exact same things! I signed up for one back in December.... By now I've just given up on that whole business..

anemoneprose

So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:

"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.

Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)


"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.


People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)


Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"

I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.

There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.



Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.

i don't do online dating but my 2 cents:

- the 75lbs overweight probably is statistically average. change your preference to 'active' or 'fit' or whatever the equivalent is if you don't want that

- what's wrong with being upfront about wanting to be married? would you rather be blind-sided? clock's ticking for lots of ladies, why waste time

- sometimes people are bad at representing themselves online. a mediocrely written profile might be hiding an awesome personality. & i bet some of the people you're turning away for having red hair or whatever, you might actually click with if you met them randomly in a bar

whierd

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I used mine as an adventure and would share them all with my friends on here. I had some pretty entertaining stories, lol. Good luck with it!

LonLB

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

Actually some that are a little bigger have mentioned they are working on getting more active, or goal is run a 5k this fall........That kinda thing.


First I'm not going to meet someone with the INTENT of changing them. I WILL NOT CHANGE ME AGAIN, so I'm surely not going to expect someone I meet to change.

Also, that's just what I prefer. I'm not looking for just women with great bodies. That's crazy and not fair since It's not like I'm some ripped abs kinda guy. But I am honest with pretty much everything so I'm not going to say I'm average, or that I'm athletic when I need to lose 25lbs.

cherryd69

I went onto a dating site over 4years ago now, i was a uk size 16 so i did put myself as 'a few extra pounds'

I had a couple of dates, but seemed to land the weirdo's, did get talking to one really nice lad who i would cam with alot, Sadly he was in Ireland and i had no way of gettin to actually meet him, we really did hit it off, stupid early morning phone calls whilst he was supposed to be on training an what not.. He was a squaddie and had an amazing sense of humor.



Then i met my fella through a body modification forum, so i stopped talking to the other lad, we both knew it was just general conversation an nothing would ever come about.



I said in my profile that i didnt do one night stands, i wasnt into the 'f*** * chuck scene'

Out of about 100 contacts, he was the only one i really sat an spoke to

Bankman1989

I don't think there is a limit on "few extra pounds". You can always select slender and that will get you into the body type you want.

Some people ARE overweight but it doesn't mean you need to date them. In fact if you make your profile specific enough they will get the hint..well actually they wont..lol

You are only looking for ONE so take it with a grain of salt and weed out the one you don't want.

vtmoon

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

Be like all those girls who complain about aholes and then date one in order to "fix" him. If the girls are happy to be 75lbs over he should let them be.

Also if we learned anything on MFP "no fatties" would be taken the wrong way, since a lot of women think being 5 lbs over ideal weight is fat somehow.

Bankman1989

So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:

"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.

Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)


"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.


People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)


Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"

I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.

There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.



Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.

Keep in mind just because u see a hot chick on there..or on MFP doesn't mean those are their pics. People get catfished all the time.

I met a girl who emailed me and had no pic. She wanted my phone number to send the pic. Normally I say hell no but for some reason I sent my number. Then she called me but still didn't send a pic. But we talked and she was hella cool. She is very busy wither job and didn't have time to put a pic up. So she sent me her pics

And she is gorgeous. I'm meeting her today.

SueGremlin

First of all, I believe that on Match.com, "a few extra pounds" is the only choice. They don't have an "obese" or "very overweight" checkbox.

But more importantly, there are people of all kinds everywhere, including online dating sites. If you don't care for what you see, move on. No use complaining about it, you are not going to change anything. Don't focus on the negative, focus on finding someone you DO want to meet.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

So just a bunch of random complaining.
For some reason, I signed up for an online dating thing.
A few observations:

"A few extra pounds" can be and often is 75+lbs overweight.

Many are "actively seeking a relationship" OR even "actively seeking a husband" (WHAT THE ****!?!)


"Average body type" can be and sometimes is up to 75lbs overweight.


People in my age range who "smoke often" look like it. (No offense to the smokers I guess but it does NOT do good things to your skin/face)


Apparently people can get attached even with just a tiny bit of chatting. I'm expecting to get a message like "why didn't you answer my message" or "what took so long to answer my message"

I often see face only pictures. That's fine. But don't post face only pictures and then after someone starts chatting then post a full picture and suddenly The average body type is 75lbs over weight.

There is ONE that I have talked to that we actually made plans to meet, and she is a member here too. But who knows how that will work out.



Maybe it just boils down to I'm not really into the hassle of going on dates. I see women that are from a town just a few miles away, but I don't like the town so I won't message. Or don't like the hair color, or don't like who knows what. There is always something.

Keep in mind just because u see a hot chick on there..or on MFP doesn't mean those are their pics. People get catfished all the time.

I met a girl who emailed me and had no pic. She wanted my phone number to send the pic. Normally I say hell no but for some reason I sent my number. Then she called me but still didn't send a pic. But we talked and she was hella cool. She is very busy wither job and didn't have time to put a pic up. So she sent me her pics

And she is gorgeous. I'm meeting her today.

aw! Have fun!! I hope she is still hella cool when you guys meet.

SueGremlin

by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?

erikkmcvay

I met my wife online and we're still madly in love after 11 years

Having said that I experienced some strange things when dating online:

1. Many people are 'window shopping'. I often felt the women I met online who had been there more then a few months were doing what I called 'window shopping' in that they were looking for 'the perfect man' (note to women: there is no perfect man. We're all imperfect and as I tell my daughters: men are pigs.). My wife was falling into that when we first met and it was my willingness to give her space that brought her to me for good The reality seemed to be that many women (and I'm certain men but I don't date men thank you very much) would date 2 or 3 guys and chat with that many or more and try to find the guy that was perfect for them without actually knowing what that mean -- sorta like looking for the perfect dress but not knowing what color, cut or fit it would be until she finds it -- only there may well be a perfect dress and this is NO perfect man (or woman though my wife is darn close!).
2. As mentioned above: there is no perfect man. Or woman.
3. Honesty is a thing of the past My wife and I pride ourselves in our honesty and when we met online I told her I was overweight right off -- I was 249lbs and in better shape then I am now at 234lbs! But I am honest and DID NOT want her to think I was something I wasn't (I'm no model let's face it! lol)
4. People seem to trust online dating and will often meet and sleep with a lot of people online without giving it much thought! Yes this is true sadly. This may be tough to read (or not) for some but be careful!

I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.

Otherwise, what the hell are you doing?

In 1999 after I was divorced I made it clear from the start if I met someone: I'm not willing to get serious in a relationship and there will be nothing more then having fun. I was clear and to the point and dated a few women during that period but it is not really fair because if you are serious and they start to fall for you then what? Either you lied or you have to break it off and someone gets hurt. I don't think hurting people is ok.

So, enough preaching except to say this: I've taught my children that dating is about looking for a partner (be that a wife or husband or whatever) and if it isn't right then end it and move on. But don't just think dating is about pleasure and entertainment because that's not right either -- and damn sure be honest!!!

So, perhaps a good approach (which was both mine and my wifes) is to say it right up front (I did): I am going to be honest and I want you to be.

That way, if someone says they are average and you meet them and they are far from it (weight wise) then you are clear to explain what honesty means and move on.

Now I'll add this last note: Beauty is only skin deep however, dishonesty is not beautiful regardless of how sexy (or not) you might be.

m76b

sounds like that place isn't for you... but you made plans to meet someone already! so maybe you can give it a try!! just saying

HitmanCometh

Listen to Uncle Hitman for a sec... I'm about to share a painful, cold reality with you...

Generally speaking, physically attractive, well educated women with great personalities, athletic bodies and expansive personal interests... don't need dating services to find dates. Dates already found them. A lot.

Sorry to ruin your Sunday.

Now sit down, while I make you some cocoa.

LonLB

by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?

I guess I just look at it as if it happens, it happens.

And actively seeking a relationship tells me you are going to try and force the issue and/or try to move things more quickly than they should move.

whierd

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

Be like all those girls who complain about aholes and then date one in order to "fix" him. If the girls are happy to be 75lbs over he should let them be.

Also if we learned anything on MFP "no fatties" would be taken the wrong way, since a lot of women think being 5 lbs over ideal weight is fat somehow.

I would wager to bet that a good number of girls 75lbs+ overweight aren't happy about it.

Also, my post was in jest. Mostly.