Online dating. WTH!

LonLB

Maybe online dating just isn't your thing, I know a lot of people that hate it and some that love it, it all depends on what you are looking for. From what you wrote and your profile you seem like a pretty decent guy, good looking and your taking care of your kids (which is awesome by the way) just focus on you! Go out with your guy friends have some fun and meet new people, could work wonders.

What I wrote on my profile?

operation_cute

Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...

ugh this is what superficial people do to people They bring down the self esteem of great people because they're so hung up on things like money, looks, weight, ect... This makes me sad So much more to people... I just don't get that way of thinking

glovepuppet

Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...

*vomits* on the attitude that women are all just after the man with the ££.

jenniferrusso7393

I have heard many guys say that a lot of women on the dating websites (i was on one for a couple of years), even if they dopost a full body picture, it must be years old, because then when they actually meet, it is NOTHING like the picture they posted, and usually not in a good way. I have seen profiles that don't exactly say "no fatties", but they guys make it clear that they want someone who has taken good care of their body... You could say "physical fitness is important to me, and I want someone who shares this"... Good luck to you my firnd, online dating is a nightmare, but like you, I have kids, a job, school, etc. and it was a necessary evil (3 years and still going with someone I met on an online dating website!)

AmyJeanMarie84

i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.

I wouldn't give up on dating until your the "finished product" why would you want a guy who only wanted you because you were skinny anyways? Believe it or not there are plenty of guys (the decent ones) that arn't superficial And this way when you are the "finished product" you gave the right guy some serious eye candy who actually deserves it

Lol yeah "given up" was dramatic, I will remain pessimisticly patient

meshashesha2012

so for all the fit people who want fit people and bothered by overweightedness, why not join that site fitnesssingles?

you're running into fatties because you're dipping in the genpop. that's like complaining about not finding michael kors sunglasses because you're shopping at burlington coat factory. if you want a certain look then go to a place that caters to that look.

logic can solve many problems

rml_16

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

LonLB

so for all the fit people who want fit people and bothered by overweightedness, why not join that site fitnesssingles?

you're running into fatties because you're dipping in the genpop. that's like complaining about not finding michael kors sunglasses because you're shopping at burlington coat factory. if you want a certain look then go to a place that caters to that look.

logic can solve many problems

It's not as simple as that. I would date someone who was overweight in a second. Because there is more to it than that, but also because I find "thick" women very attractive.

The issue is claiming to be something that you are clearly not, and/or lying or being misleading.

vtmoon

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

Like cheap European cologne smell, or didn't shower for days and wore dirty clothes smelled?

LonLB

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

Agreed on the smell. There is NOTHING that can turn that around.

vtmoon

so for all the fit people who want fit people and bothered by overweightedness, why not join that site fitnesssingles?

you're running into fatties because you're dipping in the genpop. that's like complaining about not finding michael kors sunglasses because you're shopping at burlington coat factory. if you want a certain look then go to a place that caters to that look.

logic can solve many problems

Get out of here with that logic nonsense!

rml_16

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

Like cheap European cologne smell, or didn't shower for days and wore dirty clothes smelled?

I don't even know. It wasn't even BO. It was that really stale smell of clothes and hair that haven't been washed in ... years. It was awful. There's no coming back from that. Basic hygiene is #1 on my list of must-haves in a man!

rml_16

Just so y'all really get how much smelling good means to me: I fell rollerblading last Saturday. I shattered my left wrist, fractured my right elbow and was bleeding from my bruised and scraped right hand, elbow and knee. While I was being treated, I continuously apologized to the medical staff because I had been sweating like crazy and hadn't showered yet and knew I couldn't smell very good and as soon as I got home, I took a shower. lol

ApocalypticFae

I've witnessed weird things happen to people who are active online daters. A friend of a friend searches online dating sites often, becomes attached to certain girls fairly quickly and by their first real date, they are telling each other "I love you". Also by this point, the girl is often calling multiple times in a row and berating him with texts ("Where are you?", "Why aren't you picking up your phone?!"). Keep in mind, these are women in their 30's.

It's funny for a while, but when it keeps happening with different women, it's just... :noway:

I think the only way it works out is if both parties are just looking for something fairly fun, fairly casual, and then if they end up spending real time together, and sparks fly and everything is amazing for a while, then the more serious dates and/or relationship can possibly begin. It's easy to find someone that is fun for the night, but it's rare to find someone who will light up your day for weeks on end. And online dating just makes it... difficult. For many people. But not all.

vtmoon

Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

Be like all those girls who complain about aholes and then date one in order to "fix" him. If the girls are happy to be 75lbs over he should let them be.

Also if we learned anything on MFP "no fatties" would be taken the wrong way, since a lot of women think being 5 lbs over ideal weight is fat somehow.

I would wager to bet that a good number of girls 75lbs+ overweight aren't happy about it.

Also, my post was in jest. Mostly.

So was mine, sorry my humor is too dry at times, I will toss a tell in there next time.

AmyJeanMarie84

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

Like cheap European cologne smell, or didn't shower for days and wore dirty clothes smelled?

I don't even know. It wasn't even BO. It was that really stale smell of clothes and hair that haven't been washed in ... years. It was awful. There's no coming back from that. Basic hygiene is #1 on my list of must-haves in a man!

Thats horrible did you have way out or did you suffer through a whole date? I'm not generally rude, but a bad smelling date would have me running to the hospital for some sort of family emergency.

glovepuppet

ha! i totally get the smell thing. a guy has to smell right.
a canadian flew over to meet me last year and i had him mail a worn t-shirt in advance, just to make sure.

vtmoon

Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

Like cheap European cologne smell, or didn't shower for days and wore dirty clothes smelled?

I don't even know. It wasn't even BO. It was that really stale smell of clothes and hair that haven't been washed in ... years. It was awful. There's no coming back from that. Basic hygiene is #1 on my list of must-haves in a man!

Was he wearing a 70s style suit that appears to have been stripped from a corpse from that time period? Guess what i'm asking did he smell like death? Cause could've been a zombie, or maybe cause I just watched "Warm bodies" I'm thinking that.

vtmoon

ha! i totally get the smell thing. a guy has to smell right.
a canadian flew over to meet me last year and i had him mail a worn t-shirt in advance, just to make sure.

Wait what? dirty shirt?

rml_16

He did not smell like death. lol Just stale.

And, yes, I suffered through the date, but it was blessedly short.

Mrsallypants

I'm not really into "dating" either, it's too formal and dated. If she wants a date, she is taking me on it and paying for dinner. Only thing worse is meeting their parent(s).

Online dating is difficult. You have to take really good pictures, if you're unattractive get a great haircut and wear a tailored midnight navy suit with great tie and shirt, at least you can look well groomed and stylish which are attractive qualities. Then again, you could low carb for a days, then do a carb load day, work out, get a great super pump and take a photo immediately after that. Take photos with male friends doing normal things to appear normal so you can get past the "creepy filter." Moreover, take photos with women and post them, but crop the women out of the photos save only a little bit of her - you don't want to appear like a player or try hard, but you also don't want to appear womanless, so crop her out, but not all of her.

Still, you'll have to message, message, message if you're a guy. You may get a 5 to 10% response rate, but in a week or two you should have a few women that you're talking to on a daily basis and can transition to the real word (if they're not psycho or the type that plans on never meeting and likes wasting your time).

Just don't let your horniness get the best of you and send her a response in a millisecond. When a man and woman first meet, it is usually the man who can become clingy, but after they had sex and dated for a month she is one that becomes clingy.

Don't mention how much you make on your profile, but she will probe you for what you do for a living to see if you're a big fish - make her work for this information, if she probes a little too enthusiastically, lie to her about your profession (indirectly stating how much money you make).

Lie about your height if you're a male. Women have an obsession with height, the magical number is 6'0 foot tall, if you're under that, lie and say you are that tall. When you meet, wear shoe inserts. It's a white lie, women lie about their age, weight, and so on.

glovepuppet

ha! i totally get the smell thing. a guy has to smell right.
a canadian flew over to meet me last year and i had him mail a worn t-shirt in advance, just to make sure.

Wait what? dirty shirt?

yes! poor guy was seriously self conscious about that.
but he smelled yummy, so everything was fine.

Pangea250

Wow. Good luck with that.

tmarie2715

I joined one just today, and I'm really hesitant to put up a pic - not because I'm ashamed on how I look, but because it's a small town, and I don't know if "being recognized as being on a dating site" is worth the hassle.

But if they see you, then they were on the dating site, too.

tmarie2715

I'm not really into "dating" either, it's too formal and dated. If she wants a date, she is taking me on it and paying for dinner. Only thing worse is meeting their parent(s).

Online dating is difficult. You have to take really good pictures, if you're unattractive get a great haircut and wear a tailored midnight navy suit with great tie and shirt, at least you can look well groomed and stylish which are attractive qualities. Then again, you could low carb for a days, then do a carb load day, work out, get a great super pump and take a photo immediately after that. Take photos with male friends doing normal things to appear normal so you can get past the "creepy filter." Moreover, take photos with women and post them, but crop the women out of the photos save only a little bit of her - you don't want to appear like a player or try hard, but you also don't want to appear womanless, so crop her out, but not all of her.

Still, you'll have to message, message, message if you're a guy. You may get a 5 to 10% response rate, but in a week or two you should have a few women that you're talking to on a daily basis and can transition to the real word (if they're not psycho or the type that plans on never meeting and likes wasting your time).

Just don't let your horniness get the best of you and send her a response in a millisecond. When a man and woman first meet, it is usually the man who can become clingy, but after they had sex and dated for a month she is one that becomes clingy.

Don't mention how much you make on your profile, but she will probe you for what you do for a living to see if you're a big fish - make her work for this information, if she probes a little too enthusiastically, lie to her about your profession (indirectly stating how much money you make).

Lie about your height if you're a male. Women have an obsession with height, the magical number is 6'0 foot tall, if you're under that, lie and say you are that tall. When you meet, wear shoe inserts. It's a white lie, women lie about their age, weight, and so on.

This is all terrible advice.

jennpaulson

I gave up on online dating years ago!! I've tried a multitude of sites and never had any luck but bad... Very bad.

glovepuppet

I'm not really into "dating" either, it's too formal and dated. If she wants a date, she is taking me on it and paying for dinner. Only thing worse is meeting their parent(s).

Online dating is difficult. You have to take really good pictures, if you're unattractive get a great haircut and wear a tailored midnight navy suit with great tie and shirt, at least you can look well groomed and stylish which are attractive qualities. Then again, you could low carb for a days, then do a carb load day, work out, get a great super pump and take a photo immediately after that. Take photos with male friends doing normal things to appear normal so you can get past the "creepy filter." Moreover, take photos with women and post them, but crop the women out of the photos save only a little bit of her - you don't want to appear like a player or try hard, but you also don't want to appear womanless, so crop her out, but not all of her.

Still, you'll have to message, message, message if you're a guy. You may get a 5 to 10% response rate, but in a week or two you should have a few women that you're talking to on a daily basis and can transition to the real word (if they're not psycho or the type that plans on never meeting and likes wasting your time).

Just don't let your horniness get the best of you and send her a response in a millisecond. When a man and woman first meet, it is usually the man who can become clingy, but after they had sex and dated for a month she is one that becomes clingy.

Don't mention how much you make on your profile, but she will probe you for what you do for a living to see if you're a big fish - make her work for this information, if she probes a little too enthusiastically, lie to her about your profession (indirectly stating how much money you make).

Lie about your height if you're a male. Women have an obsession with height, the magical number is 6'0 foot tall, if you're under that, lie and say you are that tall. When you meet, wear shoe inserts. It's a white lie, women lie about their age, weight, and so on.

This is all terrible advice.

or performance art.

sparkly86

you are just super picky....so agree, it is better for you to know them in person so you can have the evidence to analyze them right there.

alisonlynn1976

I'm on OkCupid, and I struggled with what to put for body type. I ended up going with "curvy," which I think accurately describes my shape. However, yeah, there are women of a LARGE range of weights who also put that one, so I don't know how descriptive it really is. I'm planning on switching to "average" once I get to the normal BMI range, and hopefully one day I will be able to put "fit."

I get a lot of moronic messages, of course, but I've met a few really great people on there as well. (not looking for "the one"; I'm not monogamous and don't do conventional relationships, so the fact that I'm still on there doesn't mean I haven't "succeeded," it's just a thing I use as a tool to meet compatible people who I might not have encountered otherwise)

1princesswarrior

I'm trying online dating. I've been the target of catfish and I'm still a bum magnet online just like in person.

My profile says a few extra pounds but in the description I've explained that I'm adopting a healthy lifestyle and that I'm losing weight and improving my healthy. Funny, I've not had problems with my weight but I've met guys who want to be immediately attached at the hip, whom lied on their profiles (very common in my experience), and I've gotten dumped twice by guys who were jealous of my horse because I have to take care of him every day. The last guy I met actually said he'd dump me if I lost weight, go figure.