Online dating. WTH!
Replies
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I've done the online dating thing before...I was surprised to learn that many men, and maybe women too, are just serial online daters. It doesn't matter if you click in real life, as soon as they get home they're back to browsing profiles.
I did have one long term relationship that I met online...other than that, nada. I gave up on it a while back.
Side note about "a few extra pounds"...the only option up from there is "BBW". I'm too small to be a BBW, so I choose "a few extra pounds". Haven't had anyone complain yet.0 -
I think that men are more likely to just want sex so perhaps my statement needs a little clarification: men more likely just want sex and maybe a partner. I think women more likely want a partner and maybe sex
I think it's biological.0 -
i think that's a really weird attitude.I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.0 -
I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
Interesting. So, you think it's the case that the common understanding of even being on a mainstream dating site is "up for long-term relationship", unless otherwise specified? That shorter-term dating is an exception to the rule? I would have thought the opposite was true..
(I have no idea, just curious.)
No I think ALL dating is such. That's the point of dating in the first place but I think most will not admit it.
Hmm! It's probably true that most people would like a long-term pair bond type of situation, at some point.
But sometimes people (women) like the short-term, in the short term - like maybe a couple of years after coming off a relationship**. & I think lots of men are ok with short-term long-term, too.
I had an idea that people on dating sites, unless they explicitly said they were looking for LTRs, were just up for experiences. But, I have no idea, like I said!
**and sometimes for longer than that. I personally can't imagine launching into a LTR for a good while, if ever. And I'm not lying to myself.0 -
i think that's a really weird attitude.I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.
People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.0 -
by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?
I guess I just look at it as if it happens, it happens.
And actively seeking a relationship tells me you are going to try and force the issue and/or try to move things more quickly than they should move.
I disagree, I used it to weed out the serial daters and guys just looking for a hookup, which the majority of guys seemed to be.
And I didn't carry on a long conversation online, not because I didn't want to get to know them via chatting. It's because you get a better read on someone in person and they were never quite the person they portrayed themselves to be.0 -
Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.
bahahaha.0 -
if you only plan on sex if you've got a chance of getting a ring out of it, you should ask upfront rather than assume the other person agrees with your philosophy.
i think that's a really weird attitude.I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.
People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.
the only exception is people who outright lie. that's wrong. but, seriously, anyone old enough to have sex is old enough to know that people will lie to get into your pants.0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.0 -
i think that's a really weird attitude.I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.
People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.
Oh! I gotta get my popcorn ready before the ish show starts! How many should I make it for?0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?0 -
no, that's YOUR point in dating. it's certainly not mine.I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
Interesting. So, you think it's the case that the common understanding of even being on a mainstream dating site is "up for long-term relationship", unless otherwise specified? That shorter-term dating is an exception to the rule? I would have thought the opposite was true..
(I have no idea, just curious.)
No I think ALL dating is such. That's the point of dating in the first place but I think most will not admit it.0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
Yeah, but, manners?0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
Yeah, but, manners?
Manners are for communists.0 -
My fiance found me on an online dating site. We have been together for 3 years and will be getting married in August. My observations of online dating are very similar to yours.
Keys to success from my experience:
1. Be honest with yourself about who you are and what you want in a partner. This means describing what you are looking for in a person (height limitations, weight ranges, activity level, distance from you etc). A person who does not fit in those criteria then they should tell you that up front.
2. Post accurate pictures of yourself and when you find someone you like, as for accurate/current pics as well. If they are serious about dating, they wont mind.
3. Be realistic about what is out there. If you are looking for a supermodel or famous actress, you will be disappointed every time. Those women don't need to be online to find dates.
4. Talk to lots of women. you may find that even one who is overweight is a great lady and one that you could fall in love with.0 -
we are all entitled to preferences.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
if a guy were to say ''i'm most attracted to slim & athletic body types'' i wouldn't label him a douche.
but the mark of a douche is the attitude that it's fine to be rude and insulting about it.0 -
we are all entitled to preferences.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
if a guy were to say ''i'm most attracted to slim & athletic body types'' i wouldn't label him a douche.
but the mark of a douche is the attitude that it's fine to be rude and insulting about it.
Are you calling me a douche?0 -
Manners are for communists.
no one's saying you have to have sex or even have a coffee with a woman you're not attracted to (or, that Marx said that was at all relevant to the program). set your preferences to whatever, emphasize what you DO want. no need to be insulting to the people you wouldn't be interested in.
say height is for men what weight is to women. what could be said of a woman who said, "no midgets! shorties stay away!"(deliberately demonstrating an equivalently uncivilized attitude here - no offence meant to little people or shorter men) rather than "I prefer taller men"?0 -
i think men and women see "actively seeking a relationship" differently to women it means i'm not looking for one night stand stands/ random FWB. to guys it means she has the wedding dress picked out and wants to go shopping for wedding cakes on date 1.
i'm sure the weight thing is annoying, but it's just as annoying as men lying about their height, education, job. i can't tell you how many short 5'10 guys i've met, how many phD's never made it past bachelor's and how many IT guys who don't know *kitten* about computers I've run into :laugh: oh yeah both genders tend to lie about their ages too.
for me this issue is less about needing someone who's 5'10, educated, between a certain age etc but more about why that person felt the need to lie about something so immediately verifiable. plus, if they're lying about something so easy to verify,ihow can i trust that they arent lying about being married, a hermaphrodite, a korean double agent, etc?
if not dating fatties is an issue for you, then i would suggest paying attention to the photos. if she marks a few extra pounds and there arent any full body pics and the only pics are face and neck shots at weird angles then the odds of her being overweight are very high.0 -
why, are you a douche?
we are all entitled to preferences.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
if a guy were to say ''i'm most attracted to slim & athletic body types'' i wouldn't label him a douche.
but the mark of a douche is the attitude that it's fine to be rude and insulting about it.
Are you calling me a douche?0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves0 -
My husband and I met online! It was through Myspace though, not a typical dating website hahaha We were only starting to see each other for fun and then next thing I know it's five years later and we're happily married!0
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why, are you a douche?
we are all entitled to preferences.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
if a guy were to say ''i'm most attracted to slim & athletic body types'' i wouldn't label him a douche.
but the mark of a douche is the attitude that it's fine to be rude and insulting about it.
Are you calling me a douche?
Sometimes.0 -
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves
What does that have to do with anything?0 -
I met my boyfriend online, but through a game rather than a dating site, and I never said anything about my size, and he never asked, nor did he care
We hit it off immediately and have been together for almost 4 years now 
An interesting thought... maybe a lot of girls out there think that its about whats on the inside, you know like personality, and their heart... rather than physical appearance? Even when I was in shape, (before I had 4 kids) I always thought that was more important, and would expect the guy I'm with to feel the same way. Even in my "after kids body" I've attracted several types of men through my personality because I'm a very good person, who cares about people...
edit: btw I would personally choose a "teddy bear" guy who's sweet, compasionate, and a great person, over the "I've got a rockin body type" who's full of himself, concieted, and shallow any day Same thing when I was in shape 0 -
didn't your momma read you fairytales? frogs only get to kiss princesses if they're kind.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves
What does that have to do with anything?0 -
generally, because when guys have over inflated views of themselves bad things happen. history is rife with examples of that, and online dating is no exception.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves
What does that have to do with anything?
specifically in online dating it's an excuse for why not being able to find dates is more because of other people rather than with themselves.0 -
didn't your momma read you fairytales? frogs only get to kiss princesses if they're kind.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves
What does that have to do with anything?
Only page three and it's gone all "inter-species" already. :noway:0 -
generally, because when guys have over inflated views of themselves bad things happen. history is rife with examples of that, and online dating is no exception.
HItler found Eva Braun on match.com. Fact.0 -
didn't your momma read you fairytales? frogs only get to kiss princesses if they're kind.
i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
Why do you get auto-tagged as a *kitten* for it? Aren't we all entitled to our physical attractions?
because more than half the time the dudes that do that are fairly chunktastic themselves
What does that have to do with anything?
Don't quote fiction as fact.0
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