Online dating. WTH!

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  • Phx99
    Phx99 Posts: 69
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    I joined one just today, and I'm really hesitant to put up a pic - not because I'm ashamed on how I look, but because it's a small town, and I don't know if "being recognized as being on a dating site" is worth the hassle.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Maybe you should write a disclaimer on your profile saying you're not into chicks 75 lbs or more overweight.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    see, that's why i prefer online dating.
    i don't put any clear pics up, so they have no clue what i look like.
    the guys who contact me tend to do so because they find what i wrote in my profile, my humour and my interests. i have interesting and fun relationships that way.
    meeting guys offline... it's a case of transparent ''hey, you're pretty and slim and have big knockers! we must be soul mates.''
  • thursdayswoman
    thursdayswoman Posts: 60 Member
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    Sounds like online dating isn't for you, especially since you're not okay with people being up front about what they want out of a relationship. Also because you seem to be completely focused on appearance and meeting up really quickly, rather than trying to get to know someone through their profile and chatting. Online dating is different than meeting people in more traditional places.
  • HitmanCometh
    HitmanCometh Posts: 9
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    .. it's a case of transparent ''hey, you're pretty and slim and have big knockers! we must be soul mates.''
    Girls say the same thing to me, constantly. ;)
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
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    by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?


    I guess I just look at it as if it happens, it happens.

    And actively seeking a relationship tells me you are going to try and force the issue and/or try to move things more quickly than they should move.

    And possibly kill your pet rabbit and put it on the stove if you decide things aren't going to work out....
  • HitmanCometh
    HitmanCometh Posts: 9
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    Maybe you should write a disclaimer on your profile saying you're not into chicks 75 lbs or more overweight.
    So... wouldn't that require him to carry a scale to each first date?
    Does water-weight count?
  • HitmanCometh
    HitmanCometh Posts: 9
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    And possibly kill your pet rabbit and put it on the stove if you decide things aren't going to work out....
    But... how else will he know how much she loves him?

    Related side-note... rabbit stew = delicious.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.

    Interesting. So, you think it's the case that the common understanding of even being on a mainstream dating site is "up for long-term relationship", unless otherwise specified? That shorter-term dating is an exception to the rule? I would have thought the opposite was true..

    (I have no idea, just curious.)
  • erikkmcvay
    erikkmcvay Posts: 238 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.

    Interesting. So, you think it's the case that the common understanding of even being on a mainstream dating site is "up for long-term relationship", unless otherwise specified? That shorter-term dating is an exception to the rule? I would have thought the opposite was true..

    (I have no idea, just curious.)

    No I think ALL dating is such. That's the point of dating in the first place but I think most will not admit it.
  • Kattamer81
    Kattamer81 Posts: 90
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    I've done the online dating thing before...I was surprised to learn that many men, and maybe women too, are just serial online daters. It doesn't matter if you click in real life, as soon as they get home they're back to browsing profiles.
    I did have one long term relationship that I met online...other than that, nada. I gave up on it a while back.

    Side note about "a few extra pounds"...the only option up from there is "BBW". I'm too small to be a BBW, so I choose "a few extra pounds". Haven't had anyone complain yet.
  • erikkmcvay
    erikkmcvay Posts: 238 Member
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    I think that men are more likely to just want sex so perhaps my statement needs a little clarification: men more likely just want sex and maybe a partner. I think women more likely want a partner and maybe sex ;)

    I think it's biological.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
    i think that's a really weird attitude.

    just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.

    Interesting. So, you think it's the case that the common understanding of even being on a mainstream dating site is "up for long-term relationship", unless otherwise specified? That shorter-term dating is an exception to the rule? I would have thought the opposite was true..

    (I have no idea, just curious.)

    No I think ALL dating is such. That's the point of dating in the first place but I think most will not admit it.

    Hmm! It's probably true that most people would like a long-term pair bond type of situation, at some point.

    But sometimes people (women) like the short-term, in the short term - like maybe a couple of years after coming off a relationship**. & I think lots of men are ok with short-term long-term, too.

    I had an idea that people on dating sites, unless they explicitly said they were looking for LTRs, were just up for experiences. But, I have no idea, like I said!

    **and sometimes for longer than that. I personally can't imagine launching into a LTR for a good while, if ever. And I'm not lying to myself.
  • erikkmcvay
    erikkmcvay Posts: 238 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
    i think that's a really weird attitude.

    just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.

    That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.

    People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    by the way, what is wrong with someone being upfront about "actively seeking a relationship"?


    I guess I just look at it as if it happens, it happens.

    And actively seeking a relationship tells me you are going to try and force the issue and/or try to move things more quickly than they should move.

    I disagree, I used it to weed out the serial daters and guys just looking for a hookup, which the majority of guys seemed to be.

    And I didn't carry on a long conversation online, not because I didn't want to get to know them via chatting. It's because you get a better read on someone in person and they were never quite the person they portrayed themselves to be.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



    But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

    bahahaha.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
    i think that's a really weird attitude.

    just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.

    That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.

    People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.
    if you only plan on sex if you've got a chance of getting a ring out of it, you should ask upfront rather than assume the other person agrees with your philosophy.

    the only exception is people who outright lie. that's wrong. but, seriously, anyone old enough to have sex is old enough to know that people will lie to get into your pants.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Just write "no fatties" on your profile.
    i love it when people do that. it's as good as a flashing, neon, *kitten* alert.
  • iWillGetCrowSomeday
    iWillGetCrowSomeday Posts: 311 Member
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    I believe online dating is a great way to meet someone but here is my take: dating is not entertainment and should not be. If you are dating you are saying, in my book anyway: I am available for marriage. If not THEN SAY SO up front.
    i think that's a really weird attitude.

    just because coupled up & wed is your idea of where a life should be heading, doesn't mean the entire world needs to accept it is and make a public declaration if they don't.

    That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that I believe in honor and honesty and if you ABSOLUTELY do not want a relationship then be honest about it.

    People get hurt all to often because they date people that want sex and no recourse for their actions -- I'm just being honest here.

    Oh! I gotta get my popcorn ready before the ish show starts! How many should I make it for?

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