Online dating. WTH!

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Replies

  • Cindy393
    Cindy393 Posts: 268 Member
    My husband and I met on yahoo personals. It was the best thing I ever did. I was 45 years old with two teenaged boys and did not do the bar scene, the laundromat scene or the church scene. Here are a few things I learned:

    Unfortunately, most sites list "a few extra lbs" as the biggest weight target. They don't have an obese or overweight category. My husband told me from the start he was overweight-he didn't sugarcoat it.

    I dated a few guys that eventually at the end of the date told me I was too big for them. I was less than 200 lbs then, and they were certainly entitled to their opinion. HOWEVER, don't try to get in my pants, and don't tell me you'll call me again after you tell me I'm too big. Just say goodnight and move on.

    Neither one of us was ready for a serious relationship and intended to take it slow. That's what happened, and by the time we got married, we knew we were perfect for each other.

    To me, online dating is a great way to meet someone when you don't do what I commented on in the first paragraph-the church, bar scene etc.

    Good luck to you!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    generally, because when guys have over inflated views of themselves bad things happen. history is rife with examples of that, and online dating is no exception.

    HItler found Eva Braun on match.com. Fact.

    one of those offline events where they made spätzle i bet
  • Cindy393
    Cindy393 Posts: 268 Member
    I met my boyfriend online, but through a game rather than a dating site, and I never said anything about my size, and he never asked, nor did he care :) We hit it off immediately and have been together for almost 4 years now <3 An interesting thought... maybe a lot of girls out there think that its about whats on the inside, you know like personality, and their heart... rather than physical appearance? Even when I was in shape, (before I had 4 kids) I always thought that was more important, and would expect the guy I'm with to feel the same way. Even in my "after kids body" I've attracted several types of men through my personality because I'm a very good person, who cares about people...

    edit: btw I would personally choose a "teddy bear" guy who's sweet, compasionate, and a great person, over the "I've got a rockin body type" who's full of himself, concieted, and shallow any day :) Same thing when I was in shape :)

    LOVE THIS! The outside is just the wrapping....the true gift is inside.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Don't quote fiction as fact.
    next you'll be claiming santa isn't real :indifferent:
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Only page three and it's gone all "inter-species" already. :noway:
    too kinky?

    hypocrite! my froggy nooky is wrong but your hot dictator loving is fine.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    I guess my issue is that it would suck to get to know someone via talking, actually like them, then meet them and not be attracted to them AT ALL.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I guess my issue is that it would suck to get to know someone via talking, actually like them, then meet them and not be attracted to them AT ALL.

    Hence the no fatties clause.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    LOL.

    The crap I wrote in my "profile" is repellant enough without going off the deep end like 'THAT'.


    Plus I'm not looking to get all disrespectful and what not. I just am not interested in that.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    Only page three and it's gone all "inter-species" already. :noway:
    too kinky?

    hypocrite! my froggy nooky is wrong but your hot dictator loving is fine.

    Can't we compromise?

    Frogs dressed as Hitler?
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I guess my issue is that it would suck to get to know someone via talking, actually like them, then meet them and not be attracted to them AT ALL.
    that happens. but, if you've talked to them enough first, you can just enjoy their company anyway. i'm still friends with a guy i met on a dating site 6 years ago. we go out on not-a-dates, have a laugh.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Only page three and it's gone all "inter-species" already. :noway:
    too kinky?

    hypocrite! my froggy nooky is wrong but your hot dictator loving is fine.

    Can't we compromise?

    Frogs dressed as Hitler?
    :love:

    ...that cruise film would be greatly improved by the line, ''you had me at frogs dressed as hitler.''
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    LOL.

    The crap I wrote in my "profile" is repellant enough without going off the deep end like 'THAT'.


    Plus I'm not looking to get all disrespectful and what not. I just am not interested in that.

    I'd be interested in what the responses to it would be and what sort of woman overlooks it.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    Only page three and it's gone all "inter-species" already. :noway:
    too kinky?

    hypocrite! my froggy nooky is wrong but your hot dictator loving is fine.

    Can't we compromise?

    Frogs dressed as Hitler?
    :love:

    ...that cruise film would be greatly improved by the line, ''you had me at frogs dressed as hitler.''

    How YOU doin?

    muppets22rl.jpg
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    i'm printing that out for bedtime.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    i'm printing that out for bedtime.

    :flowerforyou:

    The internetz really do have everything.
  • angryjake
    angryjake Posts: 39
    The problem that skews everything on those sites is the "Average" option for body type. The average American is overweight, so someone who is 15-20 pounds overweight puts "average." Then "a few extra pounds" can mean anywhere from 30-100 pounds overweight, and "overweight" or "heavy" or "fat" means "I have self-esteem issues and am putting myself down."

    Likewise, "fit" basically means "anywhere up to 15 pounds overweight" and "athletic" means "I ran in a 5k once" or "I can do 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer."
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.
  • SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants
    SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants Posts: 474 Member
    Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



    But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

    That is AWFUL! sorry but guys that write "no fatty's" are usually creeps. There is always a way to politely say what you DO or DONT want. Please dont take this guys advice!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Just write "no fatties" on your profile.



    But seriously, why the adverse reaction to the bigger girls? You could always bring them to MFP. Think of yourself as the Pied Piper.

    That is AWFUL! sorry but guys that write "no fatty's" are usually creeps. There is always a way to politely say what you DO or DONT want. Please dont take this guys advice!

    WHOOSH
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.


    Actually it made sense.
    And not everyone wants a finished product. The thing is it does matter. Again I'm not some hot guy, but I am working on appearance, and will continue to. (Part of the not changing me thing-long story). So If I met someone in a similar situation it would be pretty cool to have that sort of connection with someone you can work out with too.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member

    Please dont take this guys advice!


    I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm no rubber mallet either.
    :tongue:
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Actually it made sense.
    And not everyone wants a finished product. The thing is it does matter. Again I'm not some hot guy, but I am working on appearance, and will continue to. (Part of the not changing me thing-long story). So If I met someone in a similar situation it would be pretty cool to have that sort of connection with someone you can work out with too.

    see if you wrote (something like) that, i bet you'd get someone just right
  • du4u02
    du4u02 Posts: 42
    I joined one just today, and I'm really hesitant to put up a pic - not because I'm ashamed on how I look, but because it's a small town, and I don't know if "being recognized as being on a dating site" is worth the hassle.

    The only way someone is going to recognize you on a dating site is if they are on it as well.
  • WhitneySheree88
    WhitneySheree88 Posts: 222 Member
    Maybe online dating just isn't your thing, I know a lot of people that hate it and some that love it, it all depends on what you are looking for. From what you wrote and your profile you seem like a pretty decent guy, good looking and your taking care of your kids (which is awesome by the way) just focus on you! Go out with your guy friends have some fun and meet new people, could work wonders.
  • beckizzle
    beckizzle Posts: 118 Member
    I've done the online dating thing before, I'm totally gone off it, 100%!!!!
  • operation_cute
    operation_cute Posts: 588 Member
    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.

    I wouldn't give up on dating until your the "finished product" why would you want a guy who only wanted you because you were skinny anyways? Believe it or not there are plenty of guys (the decent ones) that arn't superficial :p And this way when you are the "finished product" you gave the right guy some serious eye candy who actually deserves it <3
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    The problem that skews everything on those sites is the "Average" option for body type. The average American is overweight, so someone who is 15-20 pounds overweight puts "average." Then "a few extra pounds" can mean anywhere from 30-100 pounds overweight, and "overweight" or "heavy" or "fat" means "I have self-esteem issues and am putting myself down."

    Likewise, "fit" basically means "anywhere up to 15 pounds overweight" and "athletic" means "I ran in a 5k once" or "I can do 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer."
    Isn't that the damn truth. I honestly don't know what to put as my body type because I'm not average. Nor am I fit, nor am I athletic. I'm... a dude with a OK body. What is that?
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.


    Actually it made sense.
    And not everyone wants a finished product. The thing is it does matter. Again I'm not some hot guy, but I am working on appearance, and will continue to. (Part of the not changing me thing-long story). So If I met someone in a similar situation it would be pretty cool to have that sort of connection with someone you can work out with too.

    yay for making sense lol. And I get the whole not changing me thing been there done it got a really ****ty t-shirt. there has to be a balance of personalities. And enough things in common. Give and take and all that jazz.
  • mkmerrill
    mkmerrill Posts: 74 Member
    Maybe it's the site you are on. I loved it. I'm in a relationship now but never met any weirdos and went on at least three dates a week. I wasn't too picky just wanted to have fun. Then again I wasn't the one paying for the dates so I guess you have to weed people out.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
    Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...

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