Online dating. WTH!

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  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Please dont take this guys advice!


    I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm no rubber mallet either.
    :tongue:
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Actually it made sense.
    And not everyone wants a finished product. The thing is it does matter. Again I'm not some hot guy, but I am working on appearance, and will continue to. (Part of the not changing me thing-long story). So If I met someone in a similar situation it would be pretty cool to have that sort of connection with someone you can work out with too.

    see if you wrote (something like) that, i bet you'd get someone just right
  • du4u02
    du4u02 Posts: 42
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    I joined one just today, and I'm really hesitant to put up a pic - not because I'm ashamed on how I look, but because it's a small town, and I don't know if "being recognized as being on a dating site" is worth the hassle.

    The only way someone is going to recognize you on a dating site is if they are on it as well.
  • WhitneySheree88
    WhitneySheree88 Posts: 222 Member
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    Maybe online dating just isn't your thing, I know a lot of people that hate it and some that love it, it all depends on what you are looking for. From what you wrote and your profile you seem like a pretty decent guy, good looking and your taking care of your kids (which is awesome by the way) just focus on you! Go out with your guy friends have some fun and meet new people, could work wonders.
  • beckizzle
    beckizzle Posts: 118 Member
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    I've done the online dating thing before, I'm totally gone off it, 100%!!!!
  • operation_cute
    operation_cute Posts: 588 Member
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    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.

    I wouldn't give up on dating until your the "finished product" why would you want a guy who only wanted you because you were skinny anyways? Believe it or not there are plenty of guys (the decent ones) that arn't superficial :p And this way when you are the "finished product" you gave the right guy some serious eye candy who actually deserves it <3
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    The problem that skews everything on those sites is the "Average" option for body type. The average American is overweight, so someone who is 15-20 pounds overweight puts "average." Then "a few extra pounds" can mean anywhere from 30-100 pounds overweight, and "overweight" or "heavy" or "fat" means "I have self-esteem issues and am putting myself down."

    Likewise, "fit" basically means "anywhere up to 15 pounds overweight" and "athletic" means "I ran in a 5k once" or "I can do 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer."
    Isn't that the damn truth. I honestly don't know what to put as my body type because I'm not average. Nor am I fit, nor am I athletic. I'm... a dude with a OK body. What is that?
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
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    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.


    Actually it made sense.
    And not everyone wants a finished product. The thing is it does matter. Again I'm not some hot guy, but I am working on appearance, and will continue to. (Part of the not changing me thing-long story). So If I met someone in a similar situation it would be pretty cool to have that sort of connection with someone you can work out with too.

    yay for making sense lol. And I get the whole not changing me thing been there done it got a really ****ty t-shirt. there has to be a balance of personalities. And enough things in common. Give and take and all that jazz.
  • mkmerrill
    mkmerrill Posts: 74 Member
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    Maybe it's the site you are on. I loved it. I'm in a relationship now but never met any weirdos and went on at least three dates a week. I wasn't too picky just wanted to have fun. Then again I wasn't the one paying for the dates so I guess you have to weed people out.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
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    Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Maybe online dating just isn't your thing, I know a lot of people that hate it and some that love it, it all depends on what you are looking for. From what you wrote and your profile you seem like a pretty decent guy, good looking and your taking care of your kids (which is awesome by the way) just focus on you! Go out with your guy friends have some fun and meet new people, could work wonders.


    What I wrote on my profile?
  • operation_cute
    operation_cute Posts: 588 Member
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    Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...

    ugh this is what superficial people do to people :( They bring down the self esteem of great people because they're so hung up on things like money, looks, weight, ect... This makes me sad :( So much more to people... I just don't get that way of thinking :(
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Tried online dating but like in the real world -- if you do not make a lot of money, you are out of luck like me... Well that and the fact that I am not physically attractive...
    *vomits* on the attitude that women are all just after the man with the ££.
  • jenniferrusso7393
    jenniferrusso7393 Posts: 189 Member
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    I have heard many guys say that a lot of women on the dating websites (i was on one for a couple of years), even if they dopost a full body picture, it must be years old, because then when they actually meet, it is NOTHING like the picture they posted, and usually not in a good way. I have seen profiles that don't exactly say "no fatties", but they guys make it clear that they want someone who has taken good care of their body... You could say "physical fitness is important to me, and I want someone who shares this"... Good luck to you my firnd, online dating is a nightmare, but like you, I have kids, a job, school, etc. and it was a necessary evil (3 years and still going with someone I met on an online dating website!)
  • AmyJeanMarie84
    AmyJeanMarie84 Posts: 54 Member
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    i think i for the most part have given up on dating whilst on my weight loss journey. Dudes generally want the finished product, waiting around while someone works their *kitten* off (literally :) is boring. as for the actively seeking I think for me personally at 28 my youngish wild bar hopping, party till dawn, serial dating days are over. Doesn't mean i am going to change my facebook status to in a relationship on the third date, and stalk your profile, just means that a real honest to goodness actual grown up relationship is something that would be taken seriously in the future. I dunno maybe my expectations are too high but if you find someone with the stubbornness to make serious life changes, they tend be the ones who stick by you during your own life struggles. ya that sounded f*cktasticly idealistically naive even to me lmao but hey one can hope.

    I wouldn't give up on dating until your the "finished product" why would you want a guy who only wanted you because you were skinny anyways? Believe it or not there are plenty of guys (the decent ones) that arn't superficial :p And this way when you are the "finished product" you gave the right guy some serious eye candy who actually deserves it <3

    Lol yeah "given up" was dramatic, I will remain pessimisticly patient :)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    so for all the fit people who want fit people and bothered by overweightedness, why not join that site fitnesssingles?

    you're running into fatties because you're dipping in the genpop. that's like complaining about not finding michael kors sunglasses because you're shopping at burlington coat factory. if you want a certain look then go to a place that caters to that look.

    logic can solve many problems :wink:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

    Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

    I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    so for all the fit people who want fit people and bothered by overweightedness, why not join that site fitnesssingles?

    you're running into fatties because you're dipping in the genpop. that's like complaining about not finding michael kors sunglasses because you're shopping at burlington coat factory. if you want a certain look then go to a place that caters to that look.

    logic can solve many problems :wink:



    It's not as simple as that. I would date someone who was overweight in a second. Because there is more to it than that, but also because I find "thick" women very attractive.

    The issue is claiming to be something that you are clearly not, and/or lying or being misleading.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

    Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

    I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.

    Like cheap European cologne smell, or didn't shower for days and wore dirty clothes smelled?
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Online dating is awful. I tried a couple times. Men would talk to me a bunch and then just disappear. Others would plan a date but then ... disappear.

    Then there was the guy who I really hit it off with and met and 1.) He did not really look like his picture and (more importantly) 2.) He SMELLED. Like really, really bad. I can get past looks. Smell? Uh-uh.

    I have never gone past a first date with someone I met online. I won't ever do it again.



    Agreed on the smell. There is NOTHING that can turn that around.

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