Going all the way on the first date.

rml_16

Question for the ladies. How many of you will go all the way on the first date? If not; why? If you do, do you feel that the guy will look at you differently and you won't be able to form a meaninful relationship?

I never go all the way on the first date. No bs. Why? Because, first off, for me at least, dating is to see if me and this guy are compatible for a relationship. I wanna get to know him. I want to know about his family, his dog, his friends, I want to be friends with him first. You can't get to know a guy if you let him hit first night.


Do you get all your vacation benefits, sick time, and what not the first day you work?

Thanks for this post It's nice to see there are 'ladies' on this site!

(note for the other ladies, I won't quote all of you but I'm glad to see you exist in numbers here!)

You can still be a 'lady' if you have put out on the first night :huh:

Depends on how many times you put out in my eyes... For me it was a one off.

Girl i used to work with on the other hand... she used to put out to about 6 diff blokes in one night :sick:

Yay! More misogyny, representing both genders.

Warms my heart.

People can do what ever they please, it dosnt bother me.

She on the other hand did, because she didnt use any sort of protection and ended up passing on std's to quite a few men... it wasnt a one off for her to sleep with 6 different men in one night, in her own words 'its a kind of hobby' and ended up with 3 kids in care.

Of course those men had no culpability in any of it.

I dont know if they knew she had had x amount before them... *shrug

Knowing her though, i highly doubt she would have opened with the line 'hey iv just slept with 4 men, sloppy 5th's?'

Who cares if they knew? They chose not to wear the condom with a woman with whom they were not in a serious, committed relationship.

whierd

Mabie I'm strange.. but putting out on the first date seems kinda cheap to me. Selling yourself short. I purposely don't put out for the next month or two of dating(mabie even three)... helps me weed out the ones just tryin to hit it and leave. I like to get to know a man and really decide if I like/rrespect him enough to let him hit it.

I like cheap.

ScatteredThoughts

I dont know if they knew she had had x amount before them... *shrug

Knowing her though, i highly doubt she would have opened with the line 'hey iv just slept with 4 men, sloppy 5th's?'

If the men didn't insist on using some type of protection, then they were also very irresponsible.

rml_16

It's lovely to see misogyny alive and well and right out there in the open. :-)

Bull crap. Suggesting that I hate women because I believe a lady doesn't have sex on the first date is childish and naive.

It's called slut shaming.

Using the word 'slut' is shaming. I merely stated that those ladies who were being up front and not 'putting out' (as some here put it) on a first date were, well, ladies. Those who do on the other hand are not 'ladies' in my book.

Perhaps you do not understand the word Misogyny?

Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.

I revere women, love my wife and daughters with all my heart and strive to be the best husband and father I can be.

You are sexually objectifying women with your statements. Sadly, you will never understand this concept.

erikkmcvay

Fact is men are biologically programmed to try to have sex, it is a drive that goes beyond simple logic and conscious thought and ignoring that is ridiculous.

So are women or; no babies.

Not in the same way -- it is a male fantasy that women are driven to have sex as much as men are. In fact, testosterone, which is 10 times greater in men, is not being used as a way to INCREASE female sex drive.

Doesn't mean some women don't have more then others but by and by most do not even come close to the male sex drive.

blackgirlfit

well I've never thought about it being history repeating itself..


but what i was saying is that society as a whole has made it socially acceptable to have pre-marital sex. Now I'm not going to preach the word..everyone has their own beliefs.. but from a societal standpoint.. it is now THE NORM. If you're a virgin.. people look at you weird.

Look at the tv programs nowadays. If I was a 13 year old girl watching those programs I would be lost. Sex= Money. Everyone wants money, so to a girl, how can I make money? SEX.

Look at it like this. Music..strippers are now GLORIFIED. Before it use to be a taboo. Something men enjoyed on the low. But now, strippers are getting wifed up by the ballers, and the women who are working hard get left behind. Once again stripper working in sex industry gets wifed up.. = MONEY

Tv shows. 16 pregnant, teen mom, basketball wives, love and hip hop, all those shows glorify that having sex is the way to go. You want a man? Have sex. Look at all those Loubs those women are wearing. How did they get them? From the ballers? From SEX. SEX= MONEY.

Escorts..i personally know a girl who travels to vegas and comes back home with 10k for a weekend. And it's not from gambling.


Nowadays.. the meaning of sex is now lost. The generation under me is screwed because my cousins tell me about the stuff that happen in their elementary school. I'm talking about 3rd base 4th base.. in 6th grade.

whierd

In for women not wanting sex as much as guys! :drinker:

SteveJWatson

I merely stated that those ladies who were being up front and not 'putting out' (as some here put it) on a first date were, well, ladies. Those who do on the other hand are not 'ladies' in my book.

Read this. Then read your definition of mysogyny....then read it again.

If you really need prompting, ask yourself if those who put out are not 'ladies' then what would you call them?

Then read your definition of mysogyny again.

Penny dropping?

erikkmcvay

It's lovely to see misogyny alive and well and right out there in the open. :-)

Bull crap. Suggesting that I hate women because I believe a lady doesn't have sex on the first date is childish and naive.

It's called slut shaming.

Using the word 'slut' is shaming. I merely stated that those ladies who were being up front and not 'putting out' (as some here put it) on a first date were, well, ladies. Those who do on the other hand are not 'ladies' in my book.

Perhaps you do not understand the word Misogyny?

Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.

I revere women, love my wife and daughters with all my heart and strive to be the best husband and father I can be.

You are sexually objectifying women with your statements. Sadly, you will never understand this concept.

Nonsense.

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person merely as an instrument of sexual pleasure, making them a "sex object".

I do no such thing. Rather, I'm honest about the male sex drive. It appears that many people today have no idea what the words and expressions they use even mean.

loopylin32

im confused now ... exactly how many random blokes can i sleep with per day before im no longer a lady?

Depends on how many you can actually handle.

*grins*

whierd

I merely stated that those ladies who were being up front and not 'putting out' (as some here put it) on a first date were, well, ladies. Those who do on the other hand are not 'ladies' in my book.

Read this. Then read your definition of mysogyny....then read it again.

If you really need prompting, ask yourself if those who put out are not 'ladies' then what would you call them?

Then read your definition of mysogyny again.

Penny dropping?

It's not going to. He believes that he holds the moral high ground.

whierd

im confused now ... exactly how many random blokes can i sleep with per day before im no longer a lady?

Depends on how many you can actually handle.

*grins*

How YOU doin?

SteveJWatson

In for women not wanting sex as much as guys! :drinker:

Its a biological "fact" apparently. :huh:

iulia_maddie

So you've had your share of fun while young, but now you're teaching your daughters that "all men are pigs" and that having sex is somehow affecting how "honorable" they are.
Cool beans.

By your post I'm getting that you think that if you make mistakes when you are young then you should encourage your children to make the same mistakes later? That's silly.

When I say "men are pigs" I'm being honest about the male sex drive. That's all. Anyone who thinks men don't want to have sex (almost all the time) with a considerable amount of drive to boot has no understanding of the effects of testosterone.

Fact is men are biologically programmed to try to have sex, it is a drive that goes beyond simple logic and conscious thought and ignoring that is ridiculous. Being honest about it on the the other hand is honorable in my book.

Fact: Women like sex just as much as men.
Fact 2: Your daughters most likely like sex just as much as the next women.

All I am saying is that telling your daughters that men are pigs who only want one thing from them is demeaning not only to men in general, but also to your daughters. Do you really believe that's all they have to offer and that once they give that up, there's no way the guy would still be interested?

Also, teaching them that sex is something they "give", is wrong in my opinion. Sex is something you do. For yourself, because YOU want to. I hope your daughters don't end up heartbroken or feeling less worthy, because they had sex with someone and now daddy thinks less of them.

Having sex, or not having sex is a personal choice, and in no way changes who you are, how much you're worth, or whether or not you deserve respect.

VeganCoco

I cannot believe any of the ladies on here are providing answers! Inappropriate question in the first place. This is not a dating site.

Wanna go for drinks sometime? You sound like so much fun.

Ahaha! ^ THIS

blackgirlfit

Fact is men are biologically programmed to try to have sex, it is a drive that goes beyond simple logic and conscious thought and ignoring that is ridiculous.

So are women or; no babies.

Not in the same way -- it is a male fantasy that women are driven to have sex as much as men are. In fact, testosterone, which is 10 times greater in men, is not being used as a way to INCREASE female sex drive.

Doesn't mean some women don't have more then others but by and by most do not even come close to the male sex drive.

Yes I agree. Men have more drive. The population would grow if there was only 1 man in the world and 10 women versus, 1 woman and 10 men. this is all science.

whierd

In for women not wanting sex as much as guys! :drinker:

Its a biological "fact" apparently. :huh:

Yeah, because women shouldn't "give" their flowers away.

rml_16

Fact is men are biologically programmed to try to have sex, it is a drive that goes beyond simple logic and conscious thought and ignoring that is ridiculous.

So are women or; no babies.

Not in the same way -- it is a male fantasy that women are driven to have sex as much as men are. In fact, testosterone, which is 10 times greater in men, is not being used as a way to INCREASE female sex drive.

Doesn't mean some women don't have more then others but by and by most do not even come close to the male sex drive.

You're clueless.

Maybe it's not so much that you're a misogynist as just a very sad example of a man surrounded by women but haven't learned anything about them.

Women do, in fact, enjoy sex very much and like having it very much.

whierd

Fact is men are biologically programmed to try to have sex, it is a drive that goes beyond simple logic and conscious thought and ignoring that is ridiculous.

So are women or; no babies.

Not in the same way -- it is a male fantasy that women are driven to have sex as much as men are. In fact, testosterone, which is 10 times greater in men, is not being used as a way to INCREASE female sex drive.

Doesn't mean some women don't have more then others but by and by most do not even come close to the male sex drive.

Yes I agree. Men have more drive. The population would grow if there was only 1 man in the world and 10 women versus, 1 woman and 10 men. this is all science.

That is only because the one woman can only have one baby at a time. Your example was awful.

erikkmcvay

I merely stated that those ladies who were being up front and not 'putting out' (as some here put it) on a first date were, well, ladies. Those who do on the other hand are not 'ladies' in my book.

Read this. Then read your definition of mysogyny....then read it again.

If you really need prompting, ask yourself if those who put out are not 'ladies' then what would you call them?

Then read your definition of mysogyny again.

Penny dropping?

The word lady is a civil term of respect for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to gentleman or lord, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman.

You cannot have respect for a woman and be a misogamist. It is simply not within the scope of the words used.

Just because I think it is 'lady like' to express the feelings some of the women here have (about NOT 'putting out') does not make me a misogamist -- again, you too don't understand the actually meaning of the word.

It is foolish to think otherwise.